# who pays?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 18, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721 "2002-06-18T18:30:20Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/1 "2002-06-18T18:30:20Z")

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Okay.  
My girlfriend of 25 years has introduced me to this nice guy.  
He has not a lot of money (and I have none).  
I think he wants to date me, but I am hesitant on the who pays thing.  
I dont believe that the guy should pay unless:

1. He likes her and she likes him  
2.Or, he has a lot more income than her.

So…should i insist on dutch treat, as it used to be called in my day?  
Or just suggest free outings until I decide if I really want a relationship or not?  
Lets have your Opinions, humble or otherwise!

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**Author:** ![pezpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@pezpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezpunk)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/2 "2002-06-18T18:38:18Z")

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I vote for free outing. Go to a park or a museum or something like that. There will be less stress over the whole thing. It will be more like hanging out than dating.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/3 "2002-06-18T18:50:42Z")

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ahh, good advice from pezzie!  
Yes, last week, we all went to a pizza place and split the price.  
Hopefully, this week we’ll get together at her house for game night, which I’ve been wanting to do for years…  
monopoly!

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**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/4 "2002-06-18T19:00:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by vanilla \*  
> \*\*Okay.
> 
> I dont believe that the guy should pay unless:
> 
> 1. He likes her and she likes him  
> 2.Or, he has a lot more income than her.  
> \*\*

I know you are entitled to your opinion, but why should either of those serve as criteria as to who pays and who doesn’t?

_Especially_ reasoning number 1.

What I used to do is this:

If its a guy I was interested in seeing, I would offer to pay. If he said “no, really, let me pay” I would let him…under the condition that I pay the next time (see? instant second date!)

if it’s someone I didn’t care to see again, I would insist on paying for my half.  
no ifs ands or buts.  
another thing to do is if he pays, you pay for the tip.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/5 "2002-06-18T19:01:59Z")

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thank you.🙂

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**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2002, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-pays/114721/6 "2002-06-18T19:04:24Z")

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Well I like it when the woman pays 😃