# Who put that stick up Diane's ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921 "2003-05-03T22:13:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/61 "2003-05-05T13:09:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KCSuze \* > \*\*Oh boy, I’m afraid to ask this, for fear of **Diane** flogging me with **Zette’s** strap-on, but what’s a Dirty Sanchez? > > \*\* You can find out by putting that phrase in a search engine like Google. NOTE: DO NOT DO THIS AT WORK! Trust me. And to second \*\*imthjckaz \*\*you probably don’t want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/62 "2003-05-05T14:05:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Now that I’ve made a fool of myself, and since (or despite) this thread is mercefully dying, there’s one thing I kind of feel like adding. > > The reason I was home posting kinky things on a message board and not “getting myself laid” as was so compassionatly suggested, is 'cause the sweet wonderful guy I wanted to be fucking had to go to the hospital where his little sister was being rushed into surgery for unexplained seizures. > > Possibly that was why I found that silly weightless party so comforting at the time. > > Concievably that’s why I got so touchy about somebody expressing disgust over people innocently amusing themselves in this FUCKING vale of tears. > > Thank you and goodnight. To be serious for a second. Bene, in spite of the assholish things I may say in the Pit, I really am not heartless. I truly am sorry that your boyfriend is going through what sounds like a very scary time and I hope everything turns out well for his sister. However, using that situation as a way to put me on a guilt trip for voicing my opinion in the other thread then for answering a Pit thread that YOU created in my honor, just ain’t gonna cut it. Don’t feel too bad if I don’t beg for forgiveness for causing you to shed a “vale of tears” when I personally think it is a shitty thing for someone to put on an online public display of a mutual rub-off while a “sweet wonderful guy” is sitting in a hospital waiting to see if his little sister is going to be okay. But whatever, maybe he is okay with it. Different strokes and all. :::ba-da-dum::: > [@](#): > > Oh boy, I’m afraid to ask this, for fear of Diane flogging me with Zette’s strap-on, but what’s a Dirty Sanchez? Remember those old Ovaltine commercials where the people get chocolate milk mustaches? Now think of how this could relate to a sex act that doesn’t actually involve chocolate milk AND makes you think of Zette. That’s all I’m a-gonna say. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/63 "2003-05-05T14:21:34Z")
BTW, I salute you back Ultress. Now bend over. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/64 "2003-05-05T14:36:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*…And mockingbird- honestly. Why don’t you just tell Diane you love her already? Pulling her pigtails at every opportunity and lecturing everyone about how mean she is is just so transparent. \*\* Would that make **Diane** a drag queen? You know, it’s times like this I’m glad I’m on the East Coast now. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/65 "2003-05-05T14:45:09Z")
Yeah, but I know where you live Gingy. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/66 "2003-05-05T19:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\*Yeah, but I know where you live Gingy. \*\* I do too, is it a contest? ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/67 "2003-05-05T19:28:15Z")
Yeah. You win. I’ll send Zette and her dildo right over. Have you ever drank Ovaltine, Dave? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/68 "2003-05-05T19:39:53Z")
> [@](#): > > To be serious for a second. Bene, in spite of the assholish things I may say in the Pit, I really am not heartless. LIAR!!! And tell me this would not be a great sig line: “Remember those old Ovaltine commercials where the people get chocolate milk mustaches? Now think of how this could relate to a sex act that doesn’t actually involve chocolate milk AND makes you think of Zette.” Alas, a line too long. But a beauty nonethless. Heartless, souless, syphaletic hosebag. (Did I miss any?) ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/69 "2003-05-05T20:05:17Z")
> [@](#): > > (Did I miss any?) As a matter of fact, you did. You missed _miserable "santa"monious twat_. BTW, do you think that means that I masturbate with candy canes? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/70 "2003-05-05T20:37:44Z")
OMG GOD!!! Please- I’m sickened to THINK of what you might masturbate with. All I know is that I used your vibrating mermaid toothbrush in LasVegas and I plan on using it AGAIN. That girl has been WAY under the sea, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/71 "2003-05-05T20:41:19Z")
I thought it tasted a little fishy. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/72 "2003-05-05T20:58:58Z")
Just a little? Did it taste like ass, too, by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/73 "2003-05-05T21:54:45Z")
I suddenly feel very dirty reading this…and by G God…I like it!!! ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/74 "2003-05-05T21:59:29Z")
::ties Odie up, slaters him in peanut butter, and sets the dwarfs free:: By the way, I went over 5,000 in this disgusting thread. I can’t even believe that. How appropriate that I’d be molesting Diane when my odometer turned over to 5K. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/75 "2003-05-05T22:07:54Z")
Hmmmm…how did she know I had a thing about dwarfs…now if this moves to the hot tub I will be in heaven… Considering all the times you and Diane have done it…I would say the odds were in your favour… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/76 "2003-05-05T22:12:28Z")
Good point, Odie. She’s a total diseased skank-ho, but I can’t help but love her. ::loads Diane, Odie, the goats, the dwarfs, and the entire contents of Adam and [Eve.com](http://Eve.com) into the hot tub:: ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/77 "2003-05-05T22:15:21Z")
Well now this party is starting to heat up…:notes it is the pit: errr you two skanky ho’s…(God I’m out of practice here…) ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/78 "2003-05-05T22:19:13Z")
::gets out the scat-o-matic and goes after Odie:: ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/79 "2003-05-05T22:21:46Z")
Aww shit :D… ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921/80 "2003-05-05T22:22:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*Just a little? Did it taste like ass, too, by any chance? \*\* One of your most profound posts. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-put-that-stick-up-dianes-ass/172921.md?page=5)