# Who REALLY cheats more, wives or husbands? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438 "2005-02-04T22:09:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/1 "2005-02-04T22:09:52Z")
Yes, it’s widely accepted that husbands cheat more than wives. But I’ve heard that this is a myth. I KNOW I’ve seen more than one proof of this. But I can’t seem to find unbiased statistics on that. I’ve found plenty of statistics that show men cheat more, but I find myself doubting the statistics themselves because #1 many are admitted guesses #2 they are ALLLLL over the place: saying that from 15% to 70% of wives commit adultery. I mean, come on! How can I believe ANY statistic with a standard deviation that high! Does anybody have a RELIABLE statistic about the percentages of husbands and wives who cheat? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/2 "2005-02-04T22:17:57Z")
It seems like the statistics I’ve seen imply that women cheat _as much_ as men, not more than men. Of course, getting reliable statistics about infidelity is damn near impossible, because so many people lie about it. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/3 "2005-02-04T22:32:39Z")
The stats ive heard are closer, but probably as much guess as anything else. The one that comes to mind said 30% of wives, 50% of husbands. I wonder how long it will take for someone to bring up a question about the definition of cheating and mention clinton. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/4 "2005-02-04T22:35:16Z")
All of those husbands are cheating with someone. I bet the real numbers are pretty close. There probably isn’t a good way to get a GQ type answer to this. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/5 "2005-02-04T23:05:31Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > All of those husbands are cheating with someone. I bet the real numbers are pretty close. There probably isn’t a good way to get a GQ type answer to this. > > Haj Those someone’s don’t have to be married women. They could be single women. Also, there are probably some real ho’s out there that rack up multiple married men. Then, there are hookers. ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/6 "2005-02-04T23:18:53Z")
Is a guy cheating if he hooks up with a married woman? If so, then the marriage part of the equation gets even more complex. If the question is what percent of men or women have been part of extra-marital affrairs, you get a different set of answers. Still, self reports on this one will be unreliable, we agree. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/7 "2005-02-05T00:29:03Z")
Yeah, I was hoping for something along the lines of actual statistics like divorce records in which one party divorces the other for infidelity. Something that should be able to be quantified. I can’t find any such records. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/8 "2005-02-05T00:38:01Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Then, there are hookers. Unless the husband’s seeing the hooker on a regular basis, I’m not sure if that counts as cheating. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/9 "2005-02-05T00:50:58Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Unless the husband’s seeing the hooker on a regular basis, I’m not sure if that counts as cheating. You can look at it however you want. However, I can guarantee my wife would divorce me for cheating the first time I went to one. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/10 "2005-02-05T01:18:20Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Unless the husband’s seeing the hooker on a regular basis, I’m not sure if that counts as cheating. Extra-marital sex is cheating. Perhaps you were thinking of strippers. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/11 "2005-02-05T01:19:36Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > You can look at it however you want. However, I can guarantee my wife would divorce me for cheating the first time I went to one. Well I really think it all comes down to how much you pay for her. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/12 "2005-02-05T02:37:10Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > Well I really think it all comes down to how much you pay for her. So if she doesn’t charge, then it’s not adultery? What if the husband boinks the 18 year old baby sitter? He’s paying her, but not for sex. Maybe he pays her an extra dollar for the fringe benefits. That would make her a prostitute, wouldn’t it? So then it’s not cheating? What if he payed a classy prostitute in Vegas $10,000? Now is it not cheating? I know you were just joking, but really. The joke really didn’t make much sense. Sex is sex. If you don’t pay for sex, it’s still sex. If you do pay for sex, it’s still sex. ---
**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/13 "2005-02-05T04:39:55Z")
Moved to IMHO. - **xash** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/14 "2005-02-05T04:49:33Z")
> [@CC](#): > > Is a guy cheating if he hooks up with a married woman? If so, then the marriage part of the equation gets even more complex. If the question is what percent of men or women have been part of extra-marital affrairs, you get a different set of answers. Still, self reports on this one will be unreliable, we agree. A married guy is cheating if the married woman he has sex with is not his wife. I don’t see any distinction between ‘cheating’ and ‘extra marital affairs’, unless we want to breach the topic of open marriage and create, to no discernable end, the subset of extra marital sex that is not cheating. The point being the non-involved spouse is giving consent to the affair, thus it’s not considered cheating. Beats me how to get reliable data, too. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/15 "2005-02-05T04:53:41Z")
Far be it for me to question a mod, but I WAS asking for a specific answer. I don’t need opinions here **xash** , I need a cite. So it belongs in general questions. If there’s no answer, then it should remain unanswered in GQ. ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/16 "2005-02-05T04:57:31Z")
For the purposes of this discussion, a single man having a sexual affair with a married woman is **NOT** cheating, because he cannot get a divorce. And THAT is what this discussion is searching for, the percentage of men/women that cheat on their OWN spouses. ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/17 "2005-02-05T05:28:11Z")
Not inclredibly detailed, but here is a [cite](http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/infidelity/Extramarital/index4.html) for you. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/18 "2005-02-05T05:59:59Z")
[Rodney Dangerfield] I snuck out of the house the other night, when downtown and caught a cab. Take me to where the action is I said. He drove me back to my house. [/RD] ---
**Author:** ![prisoner6655321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f8ce5/32.png) [@prisoner6655321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prisoner6655321)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/19 "2005-02-05T06:03:58Z")
Yeah thanks Thinks That’s pretty typical of what I’ve found: guesses about statistics. They mention Kinsey reports, but being 50-60 years old (20-30 years before the women’s lib movement) you can hardly use them today. But thanks for trying. I hadn’t seen this site. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoneyKingofNowhere)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438/20 "2005-02-05T06:08:48Z")
This is way too “apples and oranges” in a way because I think that many times men and women cheat for different reasons. Before there’s a backlash to that statement, I’m just wondering because I want to know _why_ you want to know this… It’s probably equal with all things considered. . . but I don’t want to make this a whole different topic. . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-really-cheats-more-wives-or-husbands/288438.md?page=2)