# Who should be picked as a will executor if none of the children can do it **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2018, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688 "2018-04-03T02:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/21 "2018-04-11T18:17:51Z")
Of interest, when your executor is someone outside the immediate family, or someone who is not a beneficiary of the will, they are typically due a fee, typically a percentage of the estate value. My mother acted as the executor for one of her accounting clients and I believe she chargef something like 5% of the estate. When mom passed away, two of my brothers were listed as the co–executors and neither charged a fee. They were reimbursed from the estate for costs related to settling it, which was only fair. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/22 "2018-04-11T18:21:07Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Another thing you can do is to give your stuff to its intended recipients while you’re still around to do it, and to enjoy seeing them have it. Give them your money too, if you have excess, within tax limitations, and leave a simple and small estate at the end that they won’t be as tempted to fight over. If some drama is coming, get it past while you can still deal with it, and your end and aftermath will be much more peaceful. a related option would be to put everything you own into a living trust. The trust specifies what happens when you die, and largely avoids probate and any issues with squabbling heirs. That doesn’t solve the issue of what to do with material items such as furniture or jewelry, of course. Of course you have to name a trustee handle the trust once you pass on, and there will be fees involved with that. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/23 "2018-04-12T01:51:48Z")
An aunt and an uncle both picked my sister (their niece). She has no particular properties that would make her ideal, except she was perceived as diligent and honest. Both were childless, and she was ready at hand. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/24 "2018-04-12T02:02:04Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > My brother’s wife chose her best friend to be her executor. She hated bro and after signing on prior to sis in laws death bowed out. It took years for him to get things settled. > > I am my Mom’s executor and hate it. It is a thankless and incredibly time consuming ordeal. If I never talk to my sibs after this is settled I will be happy. I was my mother’s executor, and it was time consuming and expensive, but all the sibs got along well, as we always have. It was a relatively substantial estate, but the will had been written pretty carefully. There was some art and antiques that we sold on commission, and the rest we fought over (As in “You take it!” “No, you, I know you always loved it!” It brought us even closer together. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/25 "2018-04-12T03:29:35Z")
> [@seal\_cleaner](#): > > I was my mother’s executor, and it was time consuming and expensive, but all the sibs got along well, as we always have. It was a relatively substantial estate, but the will had been written pretty carefully. There was some art and antiques that we sold on commission, and the rest we fought over (As in “You take it!” “No, you, I know you always loved it!” It brought us even closer together. I envy you. One of my sibs just threatened my children and their families if I didn’t give him money “RIGHTNOW” But I can’t because the will is being contested by my other sibs child. I want to go back in time and deck my mom who said to all “I want them all to fight for the money” I don’t even want it. I just don’t want lawyers to get it but I am just inches away from walking. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/26 "2018-04-12T03:42:35Z")
No way would I be willing to serve as an executor for anyone. Way too much liability. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/27 "2018-04-12T07:46:19Z")
Also, for all bank and retirement accounts, make sure that the beneficiaries form is completed. I was the executor for my mother’s estate, and this saved the family a lot of suspicion and anger that was really just based in grief. As one bank officer put it as she was cutting checks, “Your mom’s signature signature beats any will.” ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/28 "2018-04-12T15:11:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Can the attorney who sets up your will be pressed into service? That would seem the perfect choice. My wife and I just made our first will. The attorney we used said no to this, the executor should be someone that would have no financial benefit if you die. We also found out that if a person has a felony conviction or has ever filed bankruptcy cannot be an estate executor either. Depending on the circumstances, it will either be the daughter of her best friend or my niece. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688/29 "2018-04-12T23:28:40Z")
Hire a lawyer for the job. I was executor for my mom’s estate, because I was the only one who lived here. It was dreadful. It weighed on me every day, and it forced me to wallow in my grief for months. I had no experience in anything like it, and other family members blamed me for mistakes I made. Don’t do it yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-picked-as-a-will-executor-if-none-of-the-children-can-do-it/811688.md?page=1)