# Who should be the Prom Queen of IMHO? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2000, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798 "2000-05-29T13:10:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/81 "2000-06-02T16:46:30Z")
Ellen, you’ve always been Ellen as far as I know. I’m not sure how DRY got YOU confused in all this. Pink Slinky said the following: \>\> “Alas, again I say I cannot compete. Kissing up has never been my forte. Kudos to Shayna, you are the master.”\<\< It was to her I was replying when begging Green Bean not to quit so easily, as I thought it was Green Bean who had changed her name to Pink Slinky, when, in fact, it was BigGirl who is now Pink. _ **See** _ why this is so confusing? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/82 "2000-06-02T17:11:25Z")
Ah, I do. Just s’so you don’t think I’m with the banned. The banned, get it? 😃 I’m so giddy. I’ve been voted for! And I didn’t even have to fake an O. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/83 "2000-06-02T19:09:20Z")
Yeah, yeah, let ol Shayna suck up votes with butt kissing, I’ll stick with good old fashioned sexual bribes. Shayna - You wanna talk about mamas? Yo mama’s so fat her ass needs a different ZIP code. Yo mama’s so fat that she got stuck rafting down the Grand Canyon. Yo mama’s so fat she has to tie each end of a sheet to two trees in the backyard, straddle it, and run back and forth just to wipe her ass. ;p Okay, now who wants a blowjob? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/84 "2000-06-02T21:49:31Z")
_ZZZZIIIIIIIIP!_ ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/85 "2000-06-02T23:07:17Z")
**UncleBeer** , do I have to remind you that you’re a moderator now? We do _not_ sell our votes for something as simple as a blowjob. Even from a known beauty and sexpot like **Diane**. We demand and get blowjobs for editing UBB code, for cripes sake! If you’re gonna sell a vote, I daresay **Diane** ’s going to have to find two or three friends, or arrange some time aboard an aloft aircraft or something. Sheesh! Rookies! ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/86 "2000-06-02T23:11:01Z")
Sorry Shayna, too little too late. 😛 And I can’t change my vote now for fear of appearing fickle. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/87 "2000-06-02T23:21:58Z")
Hmm, a thousand kisses or a BJ decisions, decisions, decisions… Keith ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/88 "2000-06-02T23:29:55Z")
Must I remind everyone who the moderator of this little contest is? Remember, it’s not how you bribe, but _who_! 🙂 BTW, this little contest ends at 1700 hours Pacific time, on Monday the 5th. Get your votes in before then, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/89 "2000-06-03T01:08:20Z")
After much thought and deliberation, I’m voting for Cristi. But only if she promises to set her hand on fire while she’s on the float. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/90 "2000-06-03T01:23:01Z")
Well, Diane, I’ll take a blowjob just because you offered…however, I will not change my vote for Shayna. Shayna! Shayna! Shayna! ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/91 "2000-06-03T02:12:11Z")
Sorry **Monster** , I don’t just give those things away, ya know. Mmmmmmmmmmmm **Slythe** darling. 😉 **Uncle-Sweetie-Pie-Beer**. Did my postcards convince you to head west? Hummmmmmmmmmmm 🙂 . . . . and was that a vote? Whoa wait a sec. No one has confirmed whether or not pig blood is involved. **Shayna** - They’re all gonna laugh at you! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/92 "2000-06-03T03:15:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > And not to diminish my gratitude for the votes, but I think you may have miscounted mine. By my calculation, even if you count me as voting for myself (which I didn’t necessarily do, but don’t mind if you count it that way), I have a total of 7 votes, not 8. billyt123, me (I guess), Monster104, JohnLarrigan, Eve, DRY & xenophon41. I might be guilty of eye poking or foot stomping, but I never want to be accused of cheating. 🙂 > \*\* To my fiance, Oh, man, I’m disappointed in you! ☹ You ARE NOT cheating if someone else makes an error in your benefit, unless you caused said error to happen! (Should I start a thread in great debates about this?) If you take a test, and you look over someone’s shoulder (or smuggle in the answers somehow), THAT is cheating. But if you take the test honestly, and the teacher/professor/proctor grades your score incorrectly and gives you a better grade than you deserve, you DID NOT cheat. Period. I should know, I got an A- in my ethics class at UCLA. (I would have had an A, except they caught me cheating) Just take your extra vote, and be quiet: “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will” –Hamlet, Act V, scene ii > [@](#): > > \*\* > **DRY** , thank you kindly for your vote, my friend. It is much appreciated. > \*\* Lets have the wedding, then! “If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well It were done quickly” –Macbeth, Act 1, scene vii “When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.” –Much Ado about Nothing, Act 2, scene iii (A few hours later) Shayna and I are getting ready to retire, ladies and gentlemen. If you’ll excuse us… ::mutters in Shayna’s ear:: Sing to Soulsling, will ya?? :mad: ::grabs Shayna roughly by the arm, closes door to bridal suite:: > [@](#): > > \*\* > _ **Oh God! I’m cumming!!** _ > \*\* “Once more unto the breach!” –Henry V, Act 3, Scene i 😃 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/93 "2000-06-03T03:28:40Z")
**Arnold** , feh! Eve doesn’t want to win anyway, she didn’t even enter. For heaven’s sake, she even voted for **me**! And it’s all your fault for misinterpreting my words, anyway. ☹ It’s not like I actually did insult you or anything. :(☹ **Odieman** , let’s see, a thousand redhot kisses from sweet li’l ol’ me or a blowjob from a pottymouth like Diane (did you _see_ what she wrote about my mother???). I mean, who knows where that mouth has been. Ick! Up to you, though. 😉 **Diane** , your mamma. Still. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/94 "2000-06-03T03:33:37Z")
DRY, you are a hoot, man! The ceremony will be scheduled not less than one week following the conversion. And when would that be so I can start making out the guest list? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/95 "2000-06-03T03:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Ellen, you’ve always been Ellen as far as I know. I’m not sure how DRY got YOU confused in all this. Pink Slinky said the following: > > \>\> “Alas, again I say I cannot compete. Kissing up has never been my forte. Kudos to Shayna, you are the master.”\<\< > > It was to her I was replying when begging Green Bean not to quit so easily, as I thought it was Green Bean who had changed her name to Pink Slinky, when, in fact, it was BigGirl who is now Pink. > > _ **See** _ why this is so confusing? > > 😃 > \*\* First of all, no thanks to my wife for trying to publicly embarrass me here. Secondly, I do owe Pink Slinky an apology–not for mixing her up with Green Bean or Ellen, but for not noticing that she too had dropped out. You see, I agree with Shayna that none of you fine ladies should even consider dropping out. However, I do have a question for you, Shayna: When you thought that Pink Slinky was now Green Bean, why didn’t you call this to Soulsling’s attention, as the Pink Slinky votes and the Green Bean votes, should then, in all fairness, be combined. Right?? You were willing to call to Soulsling’s attention an extra vote that you didn’t think you had, but you weren’t willing to give Pink Slinky what you thought was Green Bean’s extra vote. You weren’t worried about her, HMM??? Anyway, as to how I got Ellen confused in all this: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Oh lord. Please remove my name from consideration for Prom Queen of IMHO and immediately crown me Gaffe Queen of the SDMB Universe. > > Gagging from the mental image I’ve wrought for typing “12 YEARS of toilet paper from bra” I nonetheless attempt to redeem myself by emphatically stating that I intended to type 12 YARDS of toilet paper. > > How do I get one of them thar embarrassed smilies? arg arg arg. > \*\* The above was what _Ellen_ said. I did not notice that Pink Slinky had also dropped out, but I KNEW that Green Bean had not, so I admit I jumped to the conclusion that Shayna had mixed up Green Bean and Ellen. What can I say? We’re a horribly mixed up couple, I guess. Psst…Ellen, you know what this means, right? It means that Shayna, while she was so worried about Green Bean (aka–or so Shayna thought–Pink Slinky) dropping out, she DIDN’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS ABOUT YOU!!! :eek: I’m shocked and appalled! ☹ :mad: Oh, and by the way, Shayna: > [@](#): > > \*\* > Greeeeeeeeen Beeeeeeeeean, come back here and put up your dukes! I’ll even suck up to **you** if you want! Of course then I’ll have to pull your hair again. But you understand, right? 😉 > \*\* Learn to fight, will ya? The proper thing to do–as any good fighter would know–is to sucker punch Green Bean/Pink Slinky/Ellen/whoever AND SHOOT A DIRTY LOOK AT DIANE! Then they get into it, and you walk away without a scratch!! 😃 Sheesh! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/96 "2000-06-03T03:48:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Yeah, yeah, let ol Shayna suck up votes with butt kissing, I’ll stick with good old fashioned sexual bribes. > > Shayna - You wanna talk about mamas? Yo mama’s so fat her ass needs a different ZIP code. Yo mama’s so fat that she got stuck rafting down the Grand Canyon. Yo mama’s so fat she has to tie each end of a sheet to two trees in the backyard, straddle it, and run back and forth just to wipe her ass. ;p > \*\* Diane, I like you. I REALLY LIKE you. 😛 But don’t talk about my mother in law that way! > [@](#): > > \*\* > Okay, now who wants a blowjob? > \*\* :eek: NOW she makes the offer!! Psst…ya know, Diane, I cannot in all fairness, go back on my vote for Shayna (aka my wife). Because, after all: “I am constant as the northern star, Of whose true-fix’d and resting quality There is no fellow in the firmament.” –Julius Caesar, Act 3, Scene i However, if you’re willing to make the same offer for a vote as “Sex Temptress of MPSIMS”, then let’s talk! 😛 > [@](#): > > \*\* > _ZZZZIIIIIIIIP!_ > \*\* “Faith, thou hast some CROTCHETS in thy head.” 😃 –Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 2, scene i (emphasis mine) 😃 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/97 "2000-06-03T03:52:53Z")
Well, Diane, that’s ok. I’m pretty used to hearing something similar to that all the time. But my vote’s still for Shayna. Shayna, Dry, am I on the “invite” list? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/98 "2000-06-03T03:53:23Z")
Well, Diane, that’s ok. I’m pretty used to hearing something similar to that all the time. But my vote’s still for Shayna. Shayna, Dry, am I on the “invite” list? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/99 "2000-06-03T03:55:43Z")
Damn double post. Sorry guys. Slythe, could you remove the second post? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798/100 "2000-06-03T04:05:43Z")
Double post? What double post? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-should-be-the-prom-queen-of-imho/20798.md?page=6)