# Who the \[f@#k\] do you think you're fooling? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 16, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590 "2009-03-16T03:14:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/21 "2009-03-16T16:27:46Z")
I don’t know of any equivalent to tons of phrases that involve profanity. Your choice of “how much money would it take to get you off the air forever?” emphatically does not convey the same point. How about [fuck me pumps](http://www.sex-lexis.com/F-Word-Dictionary/fuck-me%20pumps)? > [@](#): > > High-heel shoes that show off the feet and calves to their best advantage. Etymology: May have been coined by Germaine Greer in the 1960s. > QUOTE-1: Posted at Everything by Mit Wahsmircs: ‘The term was indeed used by Germaine Greer. While I’m not sure of the year of its conception, it was certainly used by Greer in the early 1990s to denigrate writer and columnist Suzanne Moore, who at that time wrote for the Guardian (the left-of-centre British newspaper). The two women subsequently appeared on the satirical quiz show “Have I Got News For You”, and traded further barbs. Greer was basically arguing that it was inappropriate for anyone claiming to be a feminist to wear fuck-me-shoes (as Moore did).’ See also: fuck-off-slippers ; fuck-me-boots ; fuck-me-shoes . Face it. The English language and its billions of speakers are collectively more creative than you are. You can only substitute your euphemisms at a cost in directness and clarity, the very objectives you’re striving to meet. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/22 "2009-03-16T16:50:57Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > I don’t know of any equivalent to tons of phrases that involve profanity. Your choice of “how much money would it take to get you off the air forever?” emphatically does not convey the same point. No? How about “how much money would it take to get you to go into retirement forever?” My first reaction to **The Scrivener** ’s thread title was that it would be about Ms Lyden’s payscale, expenditures or lifestyle, and it wasn’t until the last paragraph of his OP that I understood his usage. I don’t find that particularly clear. > [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > How about [fuck me pumps](http://www.sex-lexis.com/F-Word-Dictionary/fuck-me%20pumps)? > > Face it. The English language and its billions of speakers are collectively more creative than you are. You can only substitute your euphemisms at a cost in directness and clarity, the very objectives you’re striving to meet. Not a good example; I find the phrase you have selected extraordinarily offensive, implying as it does that a woman’s interest in fashion and/or her appearance is necessarily equivalent to indiscriminate sexual promiscuity, and would be happy to see it vanish from the lexicon forever. Try another. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/23 "2009-03-16T17:15:18Z")
That’s a most welcome development! Thank you, **Ed**. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/24 "2009-03-16T17:44:14Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > How about [fuck me pumps](http://www.sex-lexis.com/F-Word-Dictionary/fuck-me%20pumps)? > [@JR\_Brown](#): > > Not a good example; I find the phrase you have selected extraordinarily offensive, implying as it does that a woman’s interest in fashion and/or her appearance is necessarily equivalent to indiscriminate sexual promiscuity, and would be happy to see it vanish from the lexicon forever. Hmm, and all this time I thought they were called that because if you walk around in them too much, they **fuck up your feet.** :eek: (ow) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/25 "2009-03-16T17:49:59Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > Not a good example; I find the phrase you have selected extraordinarily offensive, implying as it does that a woman’s interest in fashion and/or her appearance is necessarily equivalent to indiscriminate sexual promiscuity, and would be happy to see it vanish from the lexicon forever. It is something of a misnomer, at least for the pumps. But seriously, only sluts wear “fuck-me boots.” ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/26 "2009-03-16T18:50:14Z")
What about “fuck me” tennis shoes? ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/27 "2009-03-16T19:12:01Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > This will of course dash our plans to market the Pit as the place to advertise Girl Scout cookies and flowers for mom, but we’ll think of something. Mundane Girl Scout Cookies I Must Share? 😃 To clarify earlier: Most of the time, profanity is not needed. However, even if only 1% of the time, where a four letter word is the only word to truly express how you feel, it must be preserved. I meant to address the rare moment in time when you are pushed to an extreme where further restraint has been proven futile. At a point in time, the sugar coating needs to stop. It would seem we are moving on a compromise already, and I will repsect that intention. -Meeko Back off to Cafe Society and The Game Room once again. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/28 "2009-03-16T19:22:56Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > Not a good example; I find the phrase you have selected extraordinarily offensive, implying as it does that a woman’s interest in fashion and/or her appearance is necessarily equivalent to indiscriminate sexual promiscuity, and would be happy to see it vanish from the lexicon forever. Try another. The world does not proceed according to your wishes. Your level of offensiveness is not of interest or concern to me. The English language is. There are phrases that have no equivalents. You can decide to use them or not as you choose. You cannot decree them out of the language. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/29 "2009-03-16T19:24:18Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > What about “fuck me” tennis shoes? Posssibly, but I’d have to see you in them. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/30 "2009-03-16T19:38:32Z")
So, change ‘fucking’ (having sex) to ‘goddam’ (sending a deity to suffer in the domain of his nemesis) right. ---
**Author:** ![JR\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JR\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JR_Brown)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/31 "2009-03-16T19:46:12Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Your level of offensiveness is not of interest or concern to me. The English language is. There are phrases that have no equivalents. Really? Name me ONE phrase that expresses _any sentiment whatsoever_ that cannot be expressed without profanity. > [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > You cannot decree them out of the language. I am not trying to decree anything “out of the language”; I am saying that profanity is **never** the ONLY choice by which to convey a given quantum of information. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/32 "2009-03-16T20:38:16Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > OK, having talked it over with **Gfactor** , I’m throwing in the towel on this one - too much trouble. We’ll go back to what we had before, which was basically: (a) Profanity is permitted in thread titles. (b) Don’t go nuts. (c) We reserve the right to do something about titles we think are over the top. This will of course dash our plans to market the Pit as the place to advertise Girl Scout cookies and flowers for mom, but we’ll think of something. Oh, for God’s sake. The “no swearing” rules were always stupid, they were always unenforceable, and you had well over a thousand posts asking you to change them. You were so bloody pigheaded and obstinate that you rammed them through anyway, and alienated half the message board in the process. And now, after all this, you figure out that it is stupid and unenforceable, and you just shrug your shoulders and say offhandedly “I’m throwing in the towel. You can swear in thread titles after all.” And if you can swear in thread titles, why not in threads themselves? Why even have your half-witted language rules? And so the next step is for Rule 2 to be vanished with a muttered “Huh. My bad.” You’re so bloody smug and isolated from this board that it doesn’t even occur to you to apologise to the members and retract your rule properly: no, it has to be as a muttered aside. You split the boards and alienate a thousand people with your hamfisted arrogance, and now it turns out that it was just a passing whim, something that you can’t really be bothered enforcing anyway? Words fail me. Or rather, they don’t. Please don’t take this as a bit of casual profanity, **Ed** , an piece of idle abuse, because I have thought this out very carefully and there is only one phrase that adequately describes you and your half-hearted autocracy: you are a stupid cunt. ---
**Author:** ![Discordia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Discordia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Discordia)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/33 "2009-03-16T21:15:13Z")
Just have it automatically turn into frak. Duh! ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/34 "2009-03-16T21:17:30Z")
Well, this is no surprise: **Scissorjack** , insults are not allowed in ATMB. Knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/35 "2009-03-16T21:18:59Z")
> [@JR\_Brown](#): > > \Try another. How about “clusterfuck?” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/36 "2009-03-16T21:24:52Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > If I had my druthers (where did I put those, anyway?) we’d jettison quite few rules, new and old. Assuming I don’t, do you have an opinion about how this one should be implemented? > > **Gfactor** > Moderator I have your druthers. I took them while you were napping the other day, and you’re not getting them back until I get all my mod warnings erased. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/37 "2009-03-16T21:33:49Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > We’ll go back to what we had before, which was basically: (a) Profanity is permitted in thread titles. (b) Don’t go nuts. (c) We reserve the right to do something about titles we think are over the top. _deep, cleansing breath_ Halle-effing-lujah. Sanity is restored. The power of well reasoned judgment will rule once again. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/38 "2009-03-16T23:33:36Z")
I think it should be changed to “f\_\_\_-you money”, or maybe “f\*\*\*-you money”. But only because I want to make **Gfactor** have to change the title again… ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/39 "2009-03-16T23:36:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I have your druthers. I took them while you were napping the other day, and you’re not getting them back until I get all my mod warnings erased. 😃 How do I know you really have them? Put them on the phone! ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590/40 "2009-03-17T03:22:54Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > How do I know you really have them? Put them on the phone! He aint heavy… hes my druther…:smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-f-k-do-you-think-youre-fooling/489590.md?page=3)