# Who the fuck says we can't raise him? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 19, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010 "2004-05-19T18:48:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/41 "2004-05-23T01:40:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Omega Glory > Is this the case because you live in a progressive area, or because you have progressive friends? It’s great that Little D will be in a situation with strong support system, but if the rest of your community isn’t ready to accept him, then it might not be enough. I’m all for integration and racial harmony, but I certainly wouldn’t let my child be the one to pave the way. There was U.S Supreme Court case twenty years ago involving race and child custody. The same type of argument (that racial prejudice from third parties would make things difficult for the child so the child ought to be removed from her home) was used to deprive a woman of custody of her child because she married a black man. I think the court sumarized it best when it said: > [@](#): > > Private biases may be outside the reach of the law, but the law cannot, directly or indirectly, give them effect. PALMORE v. SIDOTI, 466 U.S. 429 (1984) ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/42 "2004-05-23T02:44:16Z")
Are people in the UK not allowed to adopt Chinese girls, then? ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/43 "2004-05-23T02:55:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I have to ask-do these problems ever come up when placing white children with black foster parents? It doesn’t happen. It may be simply a matter of numbers, but children are so rarely placed transracially with foster parents of a minority race that there may as well be a policy against for the lack of frequency. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/44 "2004-05-23T06:14:32Z")
Nocturnal, Don’t know if you’ve heard of these guys, but they assisted a friend of mine in a similar situation: [http://www.pih.org.uk/](http://www.pih.org.uk/) > [@](#): > > People in Harmony is an interracial anti-racist organisation which promotes the positive experience of interracial life in Britain today and challenges the racism, prejudice and ignorance in society. Their website has some information on interracial adoption, at [http://www.pih.org.uk/resources/traproblem.html](http://www.pih.org.uk/resources/traproblem.html) > [@](#): > > If you would like more information about Transracial Adoption, please contact us by email at: [info@pih.org.uk](mailto:info@pih.org.uk) ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/45 "2004-05-23T07:53:54Z")
Give 'em hell nocturnal\_tick. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/46 "2004-05-23T12:47:43Z")
> [@Omega Glory](#): > > I don’t buy that placing children with people of there race has much effect on discrimination. A white family can embrace other cultures just as the same as two white parents with a black child can. There’s plenty of cultural sharing going on in inter-racial marriages and friendships. Yes, someone is going to have to be the one to step up and integrate an area for change to take place. I often think about the sacrifices that Linda Brown and her parents made that resulted in the de-segregation of southern schools. The results were good, but I don’t know how ethical it is to start a cultural movement on the backs of a few children. The child welfare department must concern themselves with what’s best for the child first, then worry about fixing the rest of society. What I meant was that someone in authority tells you to keep within the boundaries of your race or culture, like what is happening now, then there is little experience for people to go across these boundaries. People keep believing that these boundaries have a purpose for being there and in the end we remain as seperated as before. I don’t think it is ethical either to place such a burden on a child’s shoulders but in any case sacrifices have to be made by whoever is unfortunate to be placed with them. What we have to do is make sure that those people are supported and that what they endure makes the difference it should. **Little D** should not have to endure the feeling of difference in his community. In today’s society, such isolation is less and less. But if it comes to deciding his future, it should come down to the best for him. In this case, surely having a stable, if not “normal”, family is better than constantly keeping him unsure and in the end confusing him by taking him away from those he has become so close to. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > I have to ask-do these problems ever come up when placing white children with black foster parents? This is information that has come directly from the mouths of the social workers that we are in touch. I have no idea as to the truth of this statement. We have been told that black couples trying to adopt are actually only trying to adopt black children. We have also been told that black couples trying to adopt come few and far between because supposedly black couples don’t want black babies other than their own. How racist does that sound? And this is from the organisation that is governing the decision (or at least the individuals that represent them) > [@Tenar](#): > > Are people in the UK not allowed to adopt Chinese girls, then? To be honest, we have never actually had to foster any asian (Chinese, Indian or any other area of Asia) children, let alone heard of many being adopted. It could be that not many asian children are in “the system”, as it were, or that said children are actually given only to asian foster parents. Or it could be we have just never had asian children, just the luck of the odds. In any case I have never heard anything, good or bad, or asian children being adopted. > [@Gary Kumquat](#): > > Don’t know if you’ve heard of these guys, but they assisted a friend of mine in a similar situation: > > [http://www.pih.org.uk/](http://www.pih.org.uk/) Yeah, **SpoilerVirgin** gave the same website and I have already e-mailed them for information. Thanks again though. It’s nice to see people putting effort into this for us. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010/47 "2004-05-23T15:52:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Black lab or yellow lab? ::flees:: I admit, she is yellow. Not black. I am a poser in the race relations situation. We chose our dog based on one simple check list: Will her fur match our carpet? Yes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-says-we-cant-raise-him/246010.md?page=2)