# Who the fuck would do this to a library book??? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017 "2006-11-28T01:32:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/21 "2006-11-28T23:42:23Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Booger? Snot, nose dirt… [/QUOTE] It just hit me: I misspelled _booger_, didn’t I? :smack: I have been sittng here all day wondering why y’all were tying in “taking it up the poop chute” with this thread, and it wasn’t until I just now saw **gigi’s** post that I realized it! Sorry, y’all! :o And now, courtesy of the great Johnny Fever… **BOOGER!!!** 😃 Quasi ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2006, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/22 "2006-11-28T23:57:20Z")
I’ve learned to use a paper towel or kleenex or something to protect my hand when visiting a nearby gas station. Guys who visit that station use the most godawful assortment of aftershaves. Said aftershaves are left behind on the gas pump handles, and I would carry the Brut or the Hai Karate back with me to the office. It took me the longest time to figure out where that stench was coming from! Now I know and use a stink guard on my hand. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/23 "2006-11-29T00:49:35Z")
From the thread title, I thought this was going to be about those people who appoint themselves censors and blot out parts of books that they find objectionable. Or take copious notes in the margins. It is probably best not to think about the personal hygiene of whoever had the book before you. > [@Bosda](#): > > I once found a small, flattened, dried lizard in a library book in Florida. I once found a _live_ lizard in my underwear. But that was in Texas, where there are reptiles galore, including 68 separate species of snake, most of which lived in our yard. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/24 "2006-11-29T02:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] I once found a _live_ lizard in my underwear. [/QUOTE] Was it winking? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/25 "2006-11-29T13:40:05Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] It is probably best not to think about the personal hygiene of whoever had the book before you.I once found a _live_ lizard in my underwear. But that was in Texas, where there are reptiles galore, including 68 separate species of snake, most of which lived in our yard. [/QUOTE] Excuses, excuses. Keep your love life to yourself, you deve. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/26 "2006-11-29T15:01:01Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] From the thread title, I thought this was going to be about those people who appoint themselves censors and blot out parts of books that they find objectionable. Or take copious notes in the margins. [/quote] A couple of months ago, I borrowed a copy of M. Scott Peck’s _People of the Lie_ from the Toronto public library. Someone had annotated it copiously, covering all available blank space with weird religious maunderings… in pen. There were also many notes throughout the text. Someone else had gone through tand crossed out the religious maunderings… in thick black permanent marker, the kind that soaks all the way through the page. The book was damn near unreadable in sections. I returned it and complained. I hope they will buy a fresh copy. I have also recently gotten books with highlighting, underlining, broken spines or missing pages. I just haven’t had good library luck these days. > [@Jackmanii](#): > > It is probably best not to think about the personal hygiene of whoever had the book before you.I once found a _live_ lizard in my underwear. > > But that was in Texas, where there are reptiles galore, including 68 separate species of snake, most of which lived in our yard. It must be interesting to live in a place that doesn’t freeze solid every winter. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/27 "2006-11-29T18:29:37Z")
[QUOTE=Sarahfeena] I am very careful NEVER to put anything in a library book that has my name on it! [/QUOTE] Just how many library books have your name in them? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/28 "2006-11-29T18:40:46Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] “Tonight, on FoxNews: Al Caida attacks in Your library? What You need to know to keep from Dying..! Tonight, at 10…” [/QUOTE] If it’s on FoxNews, then there also has to be a special episode of The O’Reilly Factor where Bill claims he was being personally targeted by the perfumed books. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/29 "2006-11-29T21:45:24Z")
☹☹☹ As an adolescent, I really got into candle making. Then I stopped. One of the reasons I liked candle making was the different scented oils that I got to use. One Christmas, at the school library I found a copy of the story, “A Miracle on 34th Street” that was published the same year as the movie. The story was great, even better than the movie. But as an old book, it stunk like vinegar. So I doused it with “Christmas tree” oil. It did such a wonder job, I decided to do every book I borrowed. Eventually, my entire supply of scented oils was gone. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/30 "2006-11-29T22:06:42Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] I worked in a used book store for several years. You wouldn’t believe some of the weird things that people use as bookmarks. When we inspected books before putting them up for sale, we found all sorts of peculiar stuff. Business cards, receipts for all sorts of things, personal letters, bits of knitting and crochet work, legal papers (including a jury summons), torn-out portions of other books, hair barrettes, and on and on. The best thing I ever found inside a used book: a $20 bill. The worst: a mummified, rancid piece of bacon. The even-worse worst: a dried-out but obviously used condom. [/QUOTE] I, too, have found a piece of bacon stuck in a book when I was working the check-in desk at the library. Why, do you think? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/31 "2006-11-29T22:51:42Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] I, too, have found a piece of bacon stuck in a book when I was working the check-in desk at the library. Why, do you think? [/QUOTE] A pork-chop wouldn’t fit? ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/32 "2006-11-29T23:54:13Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] It is probably best not to think about the personal hygiene of whoever had the book before you.I once found a _live_ lizard in my underwear. . [/QUOTE] Interesting place , your underwear 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/edb3f5/32.png) [@Freudian\_Push\_Up\_Bra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Push_Up_Bra)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/33 "2006-11-30T11:30:18Z")
Well, think of it this way - the olfactory offender may have done it with good intentions. Imagine what it may have smelled like BEFORE she did it. Or maybe she accidentally spilled half a bottle of perfume on it. My stench story: The first time I had to pump my own petrol on my own, I fumbled a bit and spilled petrol all over my hands, wallet, keys and shoes. I then went to school and at the end of the day, my locker reeked of petrol. I reeked of petrol. My bag reeked of petrol. The smell persisted for about a week and one of my stranger friends thought I smelled nice and comforting (her farm had petrol supplies, so it made her think of her childhood). ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/34 "2006-11-30T13:11:17Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] AI have also recently gotten books with highlighting, underlining, broken spines or missing pages. [/QUOTE] I took a textbook out of the university library the other day to discover several pages had been cut out with scissors. If there were a way to tell, people who do that shouldn’t be allowed near books, let alone in libraries. Luckily, it wasn’t the section I wanted, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/35 "2006-11-30T14:54:10Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] This sent me off into uncontrollable giggles, for some reason. Why, if everytime I opened a book I received a random _bugger_ every now and then… I’d probably read even more than I already do. There. I said it. [/QUOTE] Reading ensued? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/36 "2006-11-30T15:50:23Z")
[QUOTE=Dead Cat] I took a textbook out of the university library the other day to discover several pages had been cut out with scissors. If there were a way to tell, people who do that shouldn’t be allowed near books, let alone in libraries. Luckily, it wasn’t the section I wanted, but still. [/QUOTE] It’s disgusting what people rip out. I work in Periodicals now, and it’s not really surprising at the downtown branch of a medium sized city that the want ads go missing all the time, but what _really_ pisses me off is when they rip out plans from _Fine Woodworking_ or recipes from _Southern Living_. You know anybody with a woodworking shop has got to have that 20 cents to make a copy - they just feel above it. We have to keep the woodworking plans behind the desk. Isn’t that disgusting? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/37 "2006-11-30T19:39:00Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] It’s disgusting what people rip out. I work in Periodicals now, and it’s not really surprising at the downtown branch of a medium sized city that the want ads go missing all the time, but what _really_ pisses me off is when they rip out plans from _Fine Woodworking_ or recipes from _Southern Living_. You know anybody with a woodworking shop has got to have that 20 cents to make a copy - they just feel above it. We have to keep the woodworking plans behind the desk. Isn’t that disgusting? [/QUOTE] Yes, it is. I enjoy reading magazines at the library, because if I subscribed to every magazine that I want to read I wouldn’t have an address for the subscriptions to come to. I’d enjoy reading the magazines at the library a lot more, though, if I didn’t come across pages that had been ripped or cut out. Slight hijack…if I come across a recipe or an article in a magazine that I want to keep at a doctor’s office, the receptionists have always been happy to photocopy the pages for me, and usually tell me that it’s nice to leave the article or recipe for the next patient. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017/38 "2006-11-30T21:13:58Z")
Haven’t come across perfumed books before, but it’s books which smell like the bottom of someone’s ashtray that annoy me. And make me sneeze. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-fuck-would-do-this-to-a-library-book/382017.md?page=1)