# Who the hell is Mr. Falcon?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [June 20, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120 "2005-06-20T21:22:56Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/1 "2005-06-20T21:22:56Z")
So, I’m watching TV the other day. Die Hard 2. I can feel brain cells rotting away as I watch but what the hell; it’s my day off.
Besides … I kinda enjoy the Die Hard movies. Things blow up in them. That’s cool.
But this is on USA or FX or one of those other quasi-cable channels where they still have to bleep out all the naughties. Most of the time it’s innocuous; sometimes it gets downright funny (as in the time they showed “Fargo” and every time Steve Buscemi said the word “fucking” they replaced it with “frozen.” Gave a whole new level of meaning to the film.)
My favorite line from Die Hard 2 (and from the first one as well) is at the end when Bruce Willis is amazingly setting a plane on fire with a cigarette lighter (don’t try this at home, kids) and utters the immortal lines “Yippe Kai yay, Mother Fucker!”
Except he didn’t. He said “Yippe Kai yay, Mister Falcon!”
Mister Falcon???
WHO THE HELL IS MISTER FALCON???
Gah damn … I don’t really mind them replacing naughty words like that. God knows … we have to think of the children. But GEEZ … at least either bleep it out completely or have it at least have something to do with the actual PLOT!
Ruined the whole movie for me.
I want my eight dollars back.
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### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/2 "2005-06-20T21:34:48Z")
Mister Falcon is the guy you have come across when you “find a stranger in the Alps!”
Okay so rather than wait here smug in my importantance from trivial knowlwdge refferencesand wait for someone to beg for the reference I’ll give it now 🆒
When they showed Big Lebowski on TV the changed John Goodman’s immortal and stirring “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass speech” to “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps”. Topping the alltime WTF TV dubs of all time list.
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### Author:  [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/3 "2005-06-20T21:37:20Z")
> [@Eutychus](#):
>
> My favorite line from Die Hard 2 (and from the first one as well) is at the end when Bruce Willis is amazingly setting a plane on fire with a cigarette lighter (don’t try this at home, kids) and utters the immortal lines “Yippe Kai yay, Mother Fucker!”
>
> Except he didn’t. He said “Yippe Kai yay, Mister Falcon!”
>
> Mister Falcon???
>
> WHO THE HELL IS MISTER FALCON???
>
> Gah damn … I don’t really mind them replacing naughty words like that. God knows … we have to think of the children. But GEEZ … at least either bleep it out completely or have it at least have something to do with the actual PLOT!
>
> Ruined the whole movie for me.
>
> I want my eight dollars back.
I believe it was the code name for the major bad guy - he’d say into the walkie talkies “this is Falcon”. though how Bruce’s character would have known that is beyond me
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### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/4 "2005-06-20T21:38:58Z")
[He gave Harvey Birdman some grief.](http://www.actionfigurecollectors.com/images/news/toynami/4930_Blue%20Falcon.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/5 "2005-06-20T22:13:08Z")
My favorite is the TV cut of the Bill Murray/Geena Davis movie _Quick Change_, in which every instance of the word “fucking” is replaced with “viking.” And every instance of “mother fucker” is replaced with “melon farmer.”
You’re all just a bunch of viking melon farmers, as far as I’m concerned.
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/6 "2005-06-20T22:54:51Z")
It was even worse in Johnny Dangerously. They took a pivitol scene from a central character in the movie and make him say things like “you fargin icehole,” and “why you miserable son-a-ma batches cork-sucker!”
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/7 "2005-06-20T23:30:25Z")
:d
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/8 "2005-06-20T23:31:30Z")
> [@andros](#):
>
> :d
WTF? That started out life as a capital D.
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/9 "2005-06-20T23:35:47Z")
> [@Miller](#):
>
> My favorite is the TV cut of the Bill Murray/Geena Davis movie _Quick Change_, in which every instance of the word “fucking” is replaced with “viking.” And every instance of “mother fucker” is replaced with “melon farmer.”
>
> You’re all just a bunch of viking melon farmers, as far as I’m concerned.
They used melon farmer for motherfucker in the ‘Repo Man’ tv edit too. Have to say, it fit the surreal flavor of the movie, though.
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### Author:  [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/10 "2005-06-20T23:40:06Z")
Ah, but Quick Change is a clever reference to that seminal work, Repo Man. Also Melon Farmer.
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### Author:  [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)
#### Post date: [June 20, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/11 "2005-06-20T23:45:23Z")
> [@andros](#):
>
> WTF? That started out life as a capital D.
Don’t be dragging a circumcision debate into this thread.
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/12 "2005-06-21T00:08:11Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#):
>
> Don’t be dragging a circumcision debate into this thread.
I tried, but in the edit it came out “circus mission.”
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/13 "2005-06-21T01:15:27Z")
My all-time favorite was **Casino** on the USA Network. They used “freak” instead of “fuck.” For the duration of the movie.
Made for some entertaining scenes, as when Sharon Stone storms out of the house yelling “ **Freak you, you freakin mother freaker!!!** ”
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### Author:  [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/14 "2005-06-21T01:31:18Z")
That was part of the original movie – the broken-English-speaking Moroni twisted words into dirty-sounding but G-rated epithets.
They joked about it in the scene where the young Johnny helped Jocko’s gang rob Moroni’s nightclub: after Moroni delivered them a ‘nasty’ pre-emptive tongue-lashing, Peter Boyle (or maybe it was Dick Butkus) remarked, “Listen to the mouth on that guy!”
(Later in the movie, Johnny narrated the gang wars by noting that Moroni “continued to murder the English langauge, and anyone who got in his way”).
> [@Enderw24](#):
>
> It was even worse in Johnny Dangerously. They took a pivitol scene from a central character in the movie and make him say things like “you fargin icehole,” and “why you miserable son-a-ma batches cork-sucker!”
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### Author:  [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/15 "2005-06-21T01:33:47Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#):
>
> That was part of the original movie – the broken-English-speaking Moroni twisted words into dirty-sounding but G-rated epithets.
>
> They joked about it in the scene where the young Johnny helped Jocko’s gang rob Moroni’s nightclub: after Moroni delivered them a ‘nasty’ pre-emptive tongue-lashing, Peter Boyle (or maybe it was Dick Butkus) remarked, “Listen to the mouth on that guy!”
>
> (Later in the movie, Johnny narrated the gang wars by noting that Moroni “continued to murder the English langauge, and anyone who got in his way”).
Whoosh! 😃
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### Author:  [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/16 "2005-06-21T01:43:33Z")
OK, OK, I assumed that if a person saw the movie on TV, they _coulda_ gotten that impression.
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/17 "2005-06-21T02:14:06Z")
(And FWIW, it was “Moronie.” As opposed to the angel Moroni.)
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### Author:  [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/18 "2005-06-21T05:34:27Z")
I can’t believe that networks/movie makers/whoever think that having stuff like the examples in this thread is preferable to just bleeping.
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### Author:  [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/19 "2005-06-21T08:24:03Z")
I love the Mister Falcon line. I saw it on CBS years ago. What really cracked me up was how much deeper his voice got on the redub. It sounded like they had Ving Rhames come in and do it.
Yippee kai yai **Mister Falcon**.
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### Author:  [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2005, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-is-mr-falcon/309120/20 "2005-06-21T10:39:03Z")
> [@Revtim](#):
>
> They used melon farmer for motherfucker in the ‘Repo Man’ tv edit too. Have to say, it fit the surreal flavor of the movie, though.
It was very intentional. Alex Cox the director and some of his team came up these silly expressions as they knew the original cut would not make it onto TV/Planes etc.
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