# Who the hell lets their children call that late at night? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 9, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166 "2004-04-09T12:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/121 "2004-04-12T20:23:08Z")
> [@vasyachkin](#): > > dianabol is for amateurs 😃 i dont use orals. > > anyway thanx for reminding me, i have to make an injection 😃 Hey, what a coincidence… You and [Ephedra](http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/04/11/ephedra.ban.ap/) got axed today… Boo Fucking Hoo… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/122 "2004-04-12T21:16:09Z")
Wow, three pages, on the merits of a late phone call? Thanks for the responses defending me against **Dog80** quite frankly I had forgotten about this thread 3 millliseconds of having posted. That said **Dog80** the last comment in my OP was obviously tongue in cheek, and my kids phone call rules are set like they are for a reason, (in addition to me starting work at 6 am) they have differing bedtimes and all that. Also I think I should mention that they have they’re own house phone which I rarely answer unless know one picks it up by the third ring. In addition to the phone rules, they also have to do their homework and chores before they can go play or play video games, guess I’m some kind of Nazi, huh? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/123 "2004-04-12T22:01:59Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > Oh, for gods sake. Why don’t you try responding to what I _said_ instead of implying things I in no way advocated? I never said “treat all kids like crap until they reach the age of 18, and they’d better respect you in return.” Frankly, I’m insulted at the implication. In fact, I specifically said respect could be lost, just to make it crystal clear that was _not_ what I was advocating. > > For starters, I was referring to an 11 year old interacting with the _parent_ of one of their friends. Not a 16 year old college graduate interacting with a 26 year old fellow college graduate. Congratulations by the way, that’s quite an achievement. > > I think it’s safe to assume an 11 year old doesn’t have a job. Even IF they had a job, how does that equate to “now I can be treated like an adult?” Working at the DQ for some extra spending money does not an adult make. I was working at 14 and if I had copped attitude with an adult because they didn’t respect me as an equal because I was slinging cookies at the Cookie Stop my mother would’ve smacked me upside the head. Rightfully so. > > I don’t care if she’s a future janitor, or the future President of the United States. She’s an _11 year old_. An 11 year old is not my equal. Period. I’m not going to go out of my way to treat an 11 year old as if they’re my equal. _That_ was what my post said. Nothing more. > > What the fuck is up with people giving completely off-point comparisons? Are you all that desperate to have the opposite point of view? My all means, counter-view your hearts out, but at least give a comparable hypo! If a child is calling an adult, it’s obviously an entirely different situation than a child calling another child. > > Gah! Ok, I understand. In your first posts it just seemed like you had a little bit of “Children should be seen and not heard!” going on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/124 "2004-04-12T22:29:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Comon’. What kind of emergency does an 11 year old have? “my dad just got really drunk and he’s beating up me/my mom/my sibling and I am scared and don’t know what to do” “my babysitter/brother/uncle/Santa Claus just tried to molest me” “my mom just died and I’m really upset” “(for whatever reason) I feel like I want to kill myself” (don’t say it doesn’t happen–I started having serious suicidal feelings around 6th grade.) And yes, in some of those scenarios calling the police seems obvious to us, but to a lot of kids, they don’t think of calling the police _on their parents_ as being an option. Or they may need to have someone else confirm that it’s a good idea before they do so. Kids aren’t always rational. Before anyone starts, I realize that _in this case_ the girl had a “perky voice” and didn’t seem to be upset. I’m not saying that I think the girl in the OP was having an emergency. I’m simply addressing the bizarre notion that there aren’t any situations under which an 11 year old could be having a legitimate crisis/emergency. And a shy kid may very well get spooked and murmer a quick “sorry” and hang up rather than confront an angry adult–especially if they’re traumatized by whatever their problem is to begin with–so saying that if it had been a real emergency, they wouldn’t have hung up (or that the parental radar would have kicked in) is not necessarily true. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/125 "2004-04-12T22:50:02Z")
_Heavy Sigh_ Okay. Yes, there are some instances where an 11 year old might have an honest-to-Og emergency. I would hope that said 11 year old would go to an adult vs. another child, but I realize sometimes that isn’t the case or, regrettably, that 11 year old may not feel that they have an adult with whom they can trust to go to. However. Since that was obviously not the case in the OP (in any of the myriad of hypotheticals various posters have put forth, I’d be amazed to hear a “perky” voice on the other end of the line) I chose not to go the “geez **Ivylass** what were you thinking, it could’ve been an _emergency_” route. I disregarded the option because in my mind, that option was a possibility in this particular scenerio. But I will concede there are occasions where an 11 year old would have an emergency, however rare that occasion may be. My above comments were referring to the situation being discussed in this thread. They _ONLY_ pertain to this thread. Can we please stop with all the various emergency lists that were obviously not the case with the OP now? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/126 "2004-04-12T22:52:37Z")
_Wasn’t_ a possibility in this scenerio. Argh! ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/127 "2004-04-13T01:25:33Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > What the fuck is up with people giving completely off-point comparisons? Are you all that desperate to have the opposite point of view? My all means, counter-view your hearts out, but at least give a comparable hypo! If a child is calling an adult, it’s obviously an entirely different situation than a child calling another child. > > Gah! You’re forgetting that I was responding to a post whose writer stated “what emergency could a 11 y.o. have?”, and IIRC stated previously that the parents would have taken care of any emergency. So, the fact that it’s not comparable to the OP doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant to the point of view stated in the post I was responding to, which _wasn’t_ the OP. My point was that 11 yo can have emergencies, and that there isn’t always an adult around to handle the situation. And emergencies can happen past 9 pm, by the way, home rules notwithstanding… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/128 "2004-04-13T02:36:08Z")
> [@](#): > > My daughter had been in bed for about two hours, and I was not about to wake her up for any “emergency.” If it were that bad, my daughter would not have been the one to handle it anyway, it should have been handled by an adult. I’m surprised no one commented on this. I think **Ivylass** has a good point here-if it WERE an emergency, don’t you think that it would be better for **Ivylass** to handle, rather than wake up her daughter? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/129 "2004-04-14T06:14:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m surprised no one commented on this. I think **Ivylass** has a good point here-if it WERE an emergency, don’t you think that it would be better for **Ivylass** to handle, rather than wake up her daughter? I completely agree. I was thinking the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/130 "2004-04-14T10:14:45Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m surprised no one commented on this. I think **Ivylass** has a good point here-if it WERE an emergency, don’t you think that it would be better for **Ivylass** to handle, rather than wake up her daughter? I believe nobody suggested that she should wake up her daughter. At least for my part, I only said that enquiring about the caller’s motives wasn’t unreasonnable. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/131 "2004-04-14T11:13:13Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m surprised no one commented on this. I think **Ivylass** has a good point here-if it WERE an emergency, don’t you think that it would be better for **Ivylass** to handle, rather than wake up her daughter? In the case of something like, say, sexual molestation, a child may be extremely reluctant to discuss it with a stranger. The child may have a close friend/confidant that they felt comfortable enough to talk to, but no one else. (Again, I’m not saying the girl in the OP had an emergency.) ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/132 "2004-04-14T16:38:25Z")
Wow, who knew late-night phone calls was such a hot topic?! Anyway, I still say I agree with how IvyLass handled it, _because_ it disturbed her sleep and the whole family as well. However, with a separate phone line or cell phone (not saying get one specifically for this purpose, but _if_ they had one), I’d think the rule could be “As late as you want, but you deal with the consequences.” And no, I don’t think this would result in failing school. Having recently been a teenager myself (well, ten years ago, alright? 😃 ), I can tell you that any kid that’s up late talking on the phone? would have been up late anyway. I used to stay up till 3 in the morning every night writing in my journal, listening to music, staring moodily into the flame of a candle and composing poetry to my wretched ex-boyfriend, you know…teenager stuff. And somehow I muddled through without failing due to exhaustion. Anyway, I have no kids. I just remember what it was like to be one very vividly. For some reason, this was never a huge issue in our house. We had the no-calls-after-9:30 rule, but if I was still talking to someone and it was 9:45 and my mom was heading to bed, she’d just say “Don’t talk too late, okay?” and I’d say “Sure, mom”, and that was that. If I’d had a separate phone, I don’t think she would have cared. She just didn’t want to be woken up. ---
**Author:** ![Roma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Roma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roma)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/133 "2005-08-20T03:11:30Z")
Hmmm. I’m a teenager and my parents never had any such rules, but they also don’t have a phone in their room. That’s probably because my mom likes to take naps during the day…even so, I doubt my friends would be rude enough to call my home phone after 11. They call my cell phone when they’re in late-night nervous breakdown mode. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166/134 "2005-08-20T04:06:26Z")
> [@Roma](#): > > Hmmm. I’m a teenager and my parents never had any such rules, but they also don’t have a phone in their room. That’s probably because my mom likes to take naps during the day…even so, I doubt my friends would be rude enough to call my home phone after 11. They call my cell phone when they’re in late-night nervous breakdown mode. **Roma** , we have an informal policy here of not resurrecting threads older than a few months. If you want to continue a discussion on an older topic, go ahead and start a new thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-the-hell-lets-their-children-call-that-late-at-night/239166.md?page=6)