# Who wants to be a cool kid? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511 "2006-07-07T15:54:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/1 "2006-07-07T15:54:25Z")
Welcome Dopers. Walk through my door and become a **cool kid** instantly! (only catch - I need the reason you think you’re cool) Here’s mine: I can rollerskate so I’m cool! ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/2 "2006-07-07T16:11:50Z")
I am a bilingual illiterate. I can’t read in two languages. Therefore I’m cool. No! Wait. That makes me [Joss](http://imdb.com/name/nm0000722/) [Ackland](http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/drama/radio/images/joss_ackland-.jpg)\*. I taught the college I attended how to convert from decimal to hexidecimal without using binary as an intermediary, therefore I am cool. (Granted, this says less good about me and more unflattering things about my college, but still…) - It is a line he used in the Pet Shop Boys video for _Heart_. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/3 "2006-07-07T16:34:17Z")
I’m the coolest cool you can be cause I am one of the jake MMP cool kids. So There! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/4 "2006-07-07T18:43:04Z")
I can rollerskate, too. If that doesn’t count, how about this: I’m an EMT and can drive emergency response vehicles. Really fast, with the cool lights and siren going. That should make me cool. Plus, I can make your boo-boos all better. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/5 "2006-07-07T18:47:41Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] I’m the coolest cool you can be cause I am one of the jake MMP cool kids. So There! 😛 [/QUOTE] Exactly! We’re so cool, we don’t have to justify the cool. It’s just…there. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/6 "2006-07-07T18:48:20Z")
I have 8 cats who have their own heated/air conditioned suite with carpeted shelves around the walls and a real cedar tree to climb on, with Mommy’s office right there so they can help her type. My cats think I’m cool. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/7 "2006-07-07T18:50:20Z")
I’m a librarian, which automatically makes me cool. Especially since I have long hair and wear glasses. (Or else that makes me a total geek, but that’s cool too, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/8 "2006-07-07T18:54:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] I am a bilingual illiterate. I can’t read in two languages. Therefore I’m cool. [/QUOTE] All right, I’ll take this. I am a bilingual literate! I can read, write, and speak two languages fluently. But that’s not why I’m cool. I’m cool because I can dance and shake my booty to almost any music. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/9 "2006-07-07T19:08:30Z")
I’m not cool. I’m hot. Really hot. 🆒 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/10 "2006-07-07T19:13:32Z")
I’m cool 'cause I have Old Navy flip-flops in seven different colors. [/sixth-grade logic] ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/11 "2006-07-07T19:43:21Z")
I’m cool because… because… oh. :crying: ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/12 "2006-07-07T20:26:37Z")
There, there, _Inigo_. Poor li’l fella, don’t be sad. 💏 Feel better now? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/13 "2006-07-07T20:28:38Z")
I’m so cool, I don’t need to walk through your door. I mean, I will. I’m just sayin’, I don’t _need_ to. 'Cause I’m cool. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/14 "2006-07-07T20:29:56Z")
Well, a little. But the only thing about me is that I’ve got a tongue that’s 10 inches long and I’ve learned to breathe through my ears. Who would think _that_ was cool? ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/15 "2006-07-07T20:31:42Z")
Isn’t part of the definition of “cool” being totally unconcerned about whether or not you’re cool? Well that’s me. I don’t care one way or the other. But then that means **I** think I’m cool. Which means I’m concerned about it. Which means I’m _not_ cool. Aw jeez. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/16 "2006-07-07T20:44:23Z")
I’m cool because I don’t require air conditioning until the thermometer is into the 90s. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/17 "2006-07-07T21:16:02Z")
**Inigo** you’re cool by association because of your name. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/18 "2006-07-07T21:18:05Z")
My mom says I’m cool. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/19 "2006-07-07T23:56:53Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] My mom says I’m cool. 😃 [/QUOTE] Well, she’d just about have to, wouldn’t she? Isn’t in her job description? I’m so uncool that I’m pretty cool. Doing anything well, including being uncool, is cool. 🆒 \* \*I’m also the first one to use the cool smilie in this thread which is pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/20 "2006-07-08T00:02:21Z")
[QUOTE=marque elf] \*I’m also the first one to use the cool smilie in this thread which is pretty cool. [/QUOTE] Um… Never mind. Of course you are, dearie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511.md?page=2)