# Who wants to be a cool kid? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511 "2006-07-07T15:54:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fetchund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b2d939/32.png) [@Fetchund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fetchund)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/21 "2006-07-08T00:37:03Z")
I’m cool because I taught my puppy to act like a drunken sailor. Wait. That makes her the cool one, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/22 "2006-07-08T01:57:26Z")
I’m cool because, as a government employee, I recently provided this clear, simple explanation of a snafu to an upset taxpayer: “I screwed up.” I also apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/23 "2006-07-08T02:13:35Z")
I can do the splits! So I’m cool. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/24 "2006-07-08T02:38:00Z")
I don’t care if I’m cool or not. And that makes me cool-right kids? [sub]That’s TWO, count 'em, TWO Simpson quotes now![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/25 "2006-07-08T02:41:04Z")
When I was a life guard I brought back a 4 year old girl. Now that I have my own kids- I know in one family at least I am way cool. 🆒 Plus, I still wear Tretorn sneakers- same kind I wore in high school and they were cool then… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/26 "2006-07-08T04:09:47Z")
I’m cool because I once killed four ninjas, seven security guards, two pirates, five Alaska king crabs, and Samuel L. Jackson’s twin brother for a sandwich. And then I didn’t even eat it. Or the crabs. I went to Burger King instead. Just 'cause I’m that cool. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/27 "2006-07-08T04:16:25Z")
I am not Cool, but i play a Cool Kid on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/28 "2006-07-08T06:24:17Z")
I’m cool because I can whistle two different notes at once. Or, I’m cool because I can crochet a hat mostly by feel. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/29 "2006-07-08T06:47:32Z")
I’m cool because I’m wearing sunglasses. and I’m inside. and it’s 1:47 AM. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/30 "2006-07-08T07:37:25Z")
Hmmm, well I’m cool because I have been nose to nose with a Kodiak bear, a mama with her two cubs behind her, and am still here to tell about it. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/31 "2006-07-08T13:31:55Z")
[QUOTE=marque elf] \*I’m also the first one to use the cool smilie in this thread which is pretty cool. [/QUOTE] Don’t think so, pal. Check out post #4. I win. 🆒 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/32 "2006-07-08T13:42:16Z")
I’m cool 'cause I once did stand-up on the mainstage of Toronto’s Second City, and my MOMMY AND DADDY WERE THERE TO SEE IT! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/33 "2006-07-08T14:16:30Z")
I build, deploy and maintain global IT Infrastructure. Cool, eh? Huh? ---
**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/34 "2006-07-08T19:29:53Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] I build, deploy and maintain global IT Infrastructure. Cool, eh? Huh? [/QUOTE] You’re cool because you’re the Dominating World Villain and we are all your henchmen. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/35 "2006-07-08T19:47:38Z")
[QUOTE=gabriela] You’re cool because you’re the Dominating World Villain and we are all your henchmen. [/QUOTE] Well, of course (I don’t like to brag about that). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mrald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mrald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrald)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/36 "2006-07-08T21:26:13Z")
[QUOTE=SurrenderDorothy] I’m cool because I’m wearing sunglasses. and I’m inside. and it’s 1:47 AM. [/QUOTE] You so beat me too that. 😃 I am still cool, I can type and smoke at the same time! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/37 "2006-07-08T23:29:04Z")
[QUOTE=mrald] You so beat me too that. 😃 I am still cool, I can type and smoke at the same time! :dubious: [/QUOTE] To accurately guage just how cool you are, we need to know _what_ you’re smoking. ---
**Author:** ![mrald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mrald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrald)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/38 "2006-07-09T01:00:20Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] To accurately guage just how cool you are, we need to know _what_ you’re smoking. [/QUOTE] Will I be more cool to say pot or to not say it, because if I am cool it goes without saying..right? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/39 "2006-07-09T01:09:08Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] To accurately guage just how cool you are, we need to know _what_ you’re smoking. [/QUOTE] Muthafuckas like it ain’t no thang, of course. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511/40 "2006-07-09T01:21:53Z")
I am cool because I make a damn good macaroni and cheese, and I have night vision like a bat, or so **Jayjay** says… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-cool-kid/363511.md?page=3)