# Who Wants To Be A Phaedrusaire?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 15, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305 "2000-01-15T23:48:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/1 "2000-01-15T23:48:00Z")
On the third page of [Can psychosis be diagnosed from BB posts?](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000521-3.html) , I successfully answered **Phaedrus’** challenge to find a certain two members simulposting, thus winning $10,000. Along with the solution to his challenge, I made the following instruction to **Phaedrus** :
> [@](#):
>
> …send the money to David B, and he’ll split it up among the people you have annoyed or lied to, according to a point system to be debated in a separate thread.
>
> After my reasonable finder’s fee, of course.
Now of course **Phaedrus** is not going to pay; he was just telling another in a long series of lies. But we can still have tons of fun splitting the receivable. Here’s my proposal.
I lay claim to a 7.5% origination fee, or $750.
**David B** , as syndication agent, is entitled to 5%, or $500, plus direct distribution expenses which I estimate at $200.
**andros** , **Gaudere** and **Clark K** , as the questioned members, ought to split 10%, or $1,000.
That leaves $7,750. The rest of the money should be divided among those who have suffered the most from **Phaedrus** ’ participation on this board. I can think of a few broad categories. I believe that those who have a claim under the general instructions above may also have a claim below, but feel free to debate that, too. Here are my ideas:
1. Those who have been stalked by him, insulted by him or similar.
2. People who didn’t initially realize he was trolling in _Flat Earth_ and spent undue time debating him.
3. People who _did_ initially realize he was trolling in FE, but nonetheless spent undue time debating him for the benefit of lurkers and others.
4. People embarrassed because they at one time or another stuck up for him.
5. People who called him out early and often.
So let’s open the floor: Lay your claim here to Phaedybucks!
* * *
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
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### Author:  [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)
#### Post date: [January 15, 2000, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/2 "2000-01-15T23:55:00Z")
I think I’m entitled to a small share.
At first I challenged him, then I taunted him. Then I ignored him. Then he apologized to me. Now I think he’s mad at me again.
How does 1% sound? It’s enough for a bottle of Chivas Regal and a pizza.
* * *
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago.
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/3 "2000-01-16T00:03:00Z")
He owes me tupperware, and I think he owes Ewiser Ginsu knives from his Mammals don’t evolve thread.
The tupperware as described sounded very nice, and I could probably get a set like that for… …I don’t know, $50.00.
I think I was once confused for Phaedrus. $100.00 pain and suffering.
I read 6 pages of flat earth today, now I have a headache. $1.99 aspirin.
$151.99 please.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/4 "2000-01-16T00:05:00Z")
I want my one-third!
-Melin
* * *
“I’ll never argue with a lawyer again.” – The Devil Himself.
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/5 "2000-01-16T00:46:00Z")
Oh, _goody_, a class action suit! Hey, Melin, can random bystanders get in on the winnings? This isn’t like jumping on a crashed bus, grabbing your neck and yelling, “torte! torte!”.
What about diligent Dopers who just suffered in silence through Phad’s stream of consciousness rambling and suffered heartburn, hair plucked out in handsful and acute mental whiplash?
Running after the gravy train,
Veb
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### Author:  [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/6 "2000-01-16T01:40:00Z")
Manny,
Your OP is misleading. I opened the thread expecting to play for a chance to win one million dollars. Only ten thousand is being offered…big difference.
For a shot at a true one million dollars, go to this thread:
[http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001017.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001017.html)
…where some dude named BlockHead is offering up the full one million dollars…
* * *
Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/7 "2000-01-16T02:08:00Z")
I would put my name in, but as I achieved Sainthood already through my dealings with the Confused One I feel I have received more than I deserve.
## Any share the adjucators feel is due me I will return to the pool for those who suffered collateral damage.
Dr. Fidelius, Charlatan
Associate Curator Anomalous Paleontology, Miskatonic University
“You cannot reason a man out of a position he did not reach through reason.”
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### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/8 "2000-01-16T05:28:00Z")
Oh, sorry I’m late. I found him first, in Diane’s MPSIMS thread about her flaky co-worker.
I don’t need a lot, just enough for gas and tolls.
* * *
“…being normal is not necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage.”
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### Author:  [@Clark\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clark_K)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/9 "2000-01-16T07:29:00Z")
Not to be greedy, but …
Am I limited to my third of the $1,000 or can I submit an invoice for additional pain and suffering? After all, Phaedrus did suggest I was, um, well … getting personal with my mother, so to speak. He also repeatedly refused to answer my simple question: Did he rat out David B and the others to the Left Behind administration?
## I think an extra ten bucks would be appropriate. I promise I’ll donate it to a mental-health research institute – for Phaedrus’ sake.
Up, up and away!
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### Author:  [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/10 "2000-01-16T07:41:00Z")
I read several of his posts in the Flat Earth thread, how much do I get for that? (time spent, pain and suffering, medical expenses (aspirin and such), that sort of thing)
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### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/11 "2000-01-16T07:45:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Oh, sorry I’m late. I found him first, in Diane’s MPSIMS thread about her flaky co-worker.
I should get something for creating a thread that brought him to the board.
* * *
\>^,^\<
KITTEN
Fluff yer hair Beula, I’s feelin frisky - M.S.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/12 "2000-01-16T08:19:00Z")
Well, yes, Diane, but we like you too much to give you what you deserve for that. . . .
😃
-Melin
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### Author:  [@Pariah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pariah)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/13 "2000-01-16T08:22:00Z")
I’d just like reimbursement for the $.02 I offered on the last thread…
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/14 "2000-01-16T08:50:00Z")
Three hundred dollars, please. In small bills. Need I point out that I suffered no small degree of mental anguish due to the awareness that it was **my** post that provided the catalyst for Phaedrus’ decision to run tattling to MBagnall? To be sure, the overall net effect of the resulting brouhaha was the beneficial addition to our numbers of several highly worthy new posters, most of whom would probably not found their way here without the incident. Add to that the fact that I have been accorded _not one scintilla_ of recognition for my contribution to the common weal of the SDMB, and you have one sad puppy over here.
Better make it four hundred. I have some friends coming over next weekend and it looks like we’re going to need at least two kegs.
* * *
Of course truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
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### Author:  [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/15 "2000-01-16T12:49:00Z")
I dunno. I think Gaudere deserves a bit more than just 1/3 of $1000 for all the harassment she’s received from the idiot.
I suggest whatever is left is used to buy dinner and drinks at the Springfield, IL, get-together on Feb. 26. 🙂
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### Author:  [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/16 "2000-01-16T13:18:00Z")
Get ready, everyone.
Today is the day he posts a long rant, ending with " And you may be sure that I have unassailable, incontrovertable forensic evidence to back up my allegation. But I grow weary…"
* * *
Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.
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### Author:  [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/17 "2000-01-16T22:49:00Z")
**Clark K** and **David B** : Absolutely it is permissible to make a claim above and beyond the “off the top” portion in the OP. A person who was confused for an alternate personality _and_ who was harassed by **Phaedrus** has two distinct claims. (As it happens, so does a person who administers the payout and has otherwise been harmed. So make that claim, **David**.)
Incidentally, since **Dr. Fidelius** has given up his claim, the available pool got a lot bigger. I had him in mind as one of the bigger winners of **Phaedybucks**.
## And I can’t express my delight at the reasonableness and small size of the claims made so far (Sorry, **Melin** , this is a _pro bono_ thread). Perhaps we should save a few grand to hire speakers (Gould, perhaps?) for a future SDMB convention. Now if we could only get distinguished scholars to accept **Phaedybucks** …
Sign up now to claim your share! [Who Wants To Be A Phaedrusaire?](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000554.html)
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### Author:  [@Ursa\_Major](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ursa_Major)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/18 "2000-01-16T23:01:00Z")
Was it ever determined that Mikeylikesit was one of Phaesdrus’ many secret identities? If so, I would like to be compensated for the several minutes of research I did on the Amazons of Sacramento, er, I mean, Sythia.
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### Author:  [@Lauralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lauralee)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/19 "2000-01-16T23:24:00Z")
Personally, I think us Pounders deserve some of it. After all, we have good reason to believe that he’s that rat that threw our BB into an uproar. Then of course, he owes everyone in Great Debates something for the resulting spammers…
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### Author:  [@Phaedrus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phaedrus)
#### Post date: [January 16, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-a-phaedrusaire/4305/20 "2000-01-16T23:59:00Z")
manhattan: Here’s the deal.
I am going to pay you the money. Here’s why.
You did fulfill the requirement and although my original offer could have been construed as tendering I consider it to be binding upon myself.
I will provide a complete explanation for what has happened in my last post which I will post in the thread mentioned here in the OP.
For the time being I will say this much. I have been requested by the administration of this board not to submit any evidence. I will comply with that request. Also, if this thread hadn’t been started you could have thrown a party to further humiliate me and passed out real money to others who think that they have suffered. Too late. In drawing up the papers I WILL include a proviso stipulating that NO ONE on this board receive a single penny and have the paperwork use language that not only will expressly forbid you from handing out money to other members but will include a fine well in excess of $10,000.00 if you do.
After that post I will not appear here ever again. I have not posted as another screen name here, although we all know that many have and do.
Ken
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