# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/181 "2005-06-23T23:31:58Z")
manipulating my character, if you feel like it. What did they call that in text-based MUDs, again? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/182 "2005-06-23T23:35:03Z")
Hey wait, before I go, I just realized, this is the perfect place to use the Sword of Pixelius. (the one from my sig. line, since awhile ago.) Well then, I sheath my sword, and take out the sword from the Nth dimension. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/183 "2005-06-24T00:30:18Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > What did they call that in text-based MUDs, again? \Mob control? I don’t know, I’m not a builder.\ To **Hal** … > [@](#): > > The dragon rises, his huge hide shifting; you all fall from his haunches onto the stone dungron floor as he shambles around and shuffles away from you, up a long passage. I would say… we could start by going THAT way. Of course if you’re dead, well… does anyone here know how to resurrect people? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/184 "2005-06-24T00:34:56Z")
I’ve got a Scroll of Resurrection! \*:: pulls a scroll out, stares blankly at it, tosses it away. then another. and another… some time later… ::\* Aha! Here it is! _:: waves scroll aloft ::_ Now let me just read it on **Hal** … ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/185 "2005-06-24T00:48:12Z")
~considers the effects other scrolls have had~ ~stands way the h\*ll back~ ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/186 "2005-06-24T00:50:02Z")
Still standing at the top of the chute/stairs, waiting for everybody else to come back up, I look around the chamber I’m in. Now that the smell of stir-fried tofu has dispersed, I detect a semi-familiar rankness. I also noticed droplets of liquid running down the wall, and sprinkled on the floor. I bravely walk towards the wall, and poke my finger in the liquid. I then take a whiff… _“Ewwww! Sombody peed allover the place.”_ ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/187 "2005-06-24T01:18:03Z")
Heyyy. . . what’s a tanto-wielding, somersaulting person doing reading a scroll of resurrection? You read the scroll. Your armor glows black for a moment. You feel that Kos is displeased. -more- You displaced your cat Pixel. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/188 "2005-06-24T01:19:04Z")
What’s a cat Pixel? Besides, I have lots of scrolls. I stole them all. Anybody want one? :: throws a whole bunch into the air :: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/189 "2005-06-24T01:19:35Z")
Great. Now what do we do? Carry around his corpse? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/190 "2005-06-24T01:20:39Z")
But while reading the scroll on Hal, the weight of you standing on his ribcage presses on his lungs-- he gasps for air, coming to. His backpack’s pretty well mangled, though. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/191 "2005-06-24T01:21:31Z")
:: looks down :: **Hal**! There you are! Were you there all along? Welcome back! :: jumps up and down out of sheer joy :: ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/192 "2005-06-24T01:23:22Z")
Scrolls fly about the room like confetti. You find among them: Scroll of 1040EZ Scroll of Finnegan’s Wraith Scroll of Esquire Scroll of Detect Tofu Scroll of dispel flatulence. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/193 "2005-06-24T01:24:13Z")
::Comes out of “I am finished posting for the night mode” for a little bit, at least.:: What was that sound? It sounds like a a person jumping up and down on a person’s chest? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/194 "2005-06-24T01:24:40Z")
(oh, and a fanboy-written slash version of the Wrath of Khan in which Khan and Kirk. . oh, nevermind., it’s too evil to read) ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/195 "2005-06-24T01:24:43Z")
Messy, messy, messy. ::gathers up scrolls:: Is there going to be actual treasure in this gig, or just a series of mishaps? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/196 "2005-06-24T01:26:34Z")
Hal wheezes with each jump, like a squeeky toy. Don’t be wasting his newly regained life! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/197 "2005-06-24T01:26:39Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > (oh, and a fanboy-written slash version of the Wrath of Khan in which Khan and Kirk. . oh, nevermind., it’s too evil to read) Phew! At least you didn’t get my Will/Jack Sparrow story. > [@Harimad-Sol](#): > > Is there going to be actual treasure in this gig, or just a series of mishaps? :: looks blankly :: Treasure? Oh right! The dragon! Which way did he go? :: jumps off \*\*Hal’s \*\* chest :: ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/198 "2005-06-24T01:27:32Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > (oh, and a fanboy-written slash version of the Wrath of Khan in which Khan and Kirk. . oh, nevermind., it’s too evil to read) “Is there going to be actual treasure in this gig?” You just answered your own question. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/199 "2005-06-24T01:28:17Z")
Ohhhh. . . right! You notice in the corner a great big PILE OF TREASURE! Oh boy! Shiny! Glittery! Who’s goin’ lootin’? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/200 "2005-06-24T01:31:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Phew! At least you didn’t get my Will/Jack Sparrow story. Hoarding it for yourself, I see. > [@](#): > > :: looks blankly :: > > Treasure? Oh right! The dragon! Which way did he go? > > :: jumps off \*\*Hal’s \*\* chest :: **Scott Plaid,** that’s not treasure, that’s just scary. Me! I’ll do the looting! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=11)