# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/201 "2005-06-24T01:34:22Z")
You find in the pile: Dragon fewmets of slickness +3 spatula of crepe-turning A Klaus Nomi Cassette of Confusion Parachute Pants of Sinking A Yarmulke of Strength 250 chrome pieces 15 pistachio pieces 35 formica pieces a WAND of Nagamar a WANG ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/202 "2005-06-24T01:35:33Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Hoarding it for yourself, I see. I’ll share with YOU. > [@Harimad-sol](#): > > **Scott Plaid,** that’s not treasure, that’s just scary. > > Me! I’ll do the looting! Me too! Let me! :: rolls & jumps, springboarding off a wall in the process, circling the treasure, and finally dives into the center of it :: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/203 "2005-06-24T01:37:51Z")
~transforms into a cat, mysteriously taking all of her equipment with her~ WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ~dives in~ I wonder what’s at the bottom? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/204 "2005-06-24T01:39:11Z")
As you all do backstoke laps through the pile of treasure, Filip Fingers the thief opens the small door, which is still all hopped up on powder and ready to party. Beyond the doorway is a small chamber light by torchlight. He heads into it. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/205 "2005-06-24T01:41:17Z")
~ **MoonCat** swears several MPSIMS-inappropiate words~ Stupid thieves. ~wriggles out of the pile, dragging a mysterious item in her teeth, changes form, and follows~ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/206 "2005-06-24T01:42:06Z")
Hey, wait, FlipFinger! :: grabs a bunch of random stuff and pockets it :: :: runs after Flippy :: ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/207 "2005-06-24T01:43:10Z")
Scott, who read Grimtooth book detailing many kind of traps, takes a few jewels and valuables from around the edges, by pushing them towards himself with the blade of his sword, but avoids jumping in and wading around ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/208 "2005-06-24T01:44:20Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’ll share with YOU. Ah, thank you. > [@](#): > > Me too! Let me! > > :: rolls & jumps, springboarding off a wall in the process, circling the treasure, and finally dives into the center of it :: A spatula! Awesome! But…whose WANG is this? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/209 "2005-06-24T01:44:46Z")
:: on the way past to the door, kicks ScottPlaid into the treasure :: Have some fun for once! ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/210 "2005-06-24T01:46:48Z")
Divide the loot above as you all see fit. IN addition to the already-mentioned items, there is a Sword +5 Against Everything Except Squidzilla, and 155 teflon pieces. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/211 "2005-06-24T01:47:04Z")
Yeah! Hel- er, heck, we’re not dead! [sub]\Sorry 'bout all the cursing. In real life I curse like a pirate with two peglegs and a flaming stick up his butt (around people I know) and it’s kind of hard to put aside.\[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/212 "2005-06-24T01:48:08Z")
I call the teflon! ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/213 "2005-06-24T01:50:48Z")
Scott Plaid sprawls headfirst into the pile, and winds up with a handpuppet of Frank Herbert in hisw mouth. Ech! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/214 "2005-06-24T01:50:50Z")
:: searching through pockets :: > [@capybara](#): > > Dragon fewmets of slickness > A Klaus Nomi Cassette of Confusion > 15 pistachio pieces What are these…FEWMETS? eewww! :: drops them :: :: heads up the hall after the thief :: ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/215 "2005-06-24T01:51:24Z")
Gah! A tentacle! It’s got me! Remember me for the ages! ::Thrashes around for a bit.:: No wait. IT’s just a jewels covered belt. I take it, as well as a few teflon pieces, and as musch gold as I can take, but still run with. (The opening to the Nth dimension isn’t very wide, just wide enought to put the sword back into, so I put nothing into my wallet, save for coins.)Someone else can use the sword, I prefer the one I plan to use against Deathmachine. I don’t here any dead bodies falling to the ground, so I get up and head through the door. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/216 "2005-06-24T01:53:43Z")
Can the Nomi tape have any effect on “Lightning strikes”? Also, does it have the Nomi Song? I love that kind thing. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/217 "2005-06-24T01:55:20Z")
~puts fewmets in her bag~ Could be useful. \ **capybara** - still waiting for a description of what I pulled out of the pile in cat form\ ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/218 "2005-06-24T01:58:36Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > Ech! Brand Ech? I loved that comic! I walk back into the rom, and take it, and the puppet. I then walk back to the room I was just in. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/219 "2005-06-24T02:00:19Z")
Oh, your cat form pulled out an, em, waffle-iron of zombification. In the smaller room, there are, in opposite corners, a large box (shaped like a parenthesis, for some reason) and a large chest (Shaped much like the box). The theif stands in front of the box, considering it. He begins to check for traps. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/220 "2005-06-24T02:04:07Z")
:: while the thief (who is this guy, anyway?) checks for traps, follows, unlocking :: Wonder what’s in the first box? :: opens the box :: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=12)