# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/221 "2005-06-24T02:05:13Z")
I examine the walls for any signs of irregularities. (See the Dork tower comic where the group spent the entire time exmining a lake infront of the dugeon, for more cases of this kind of behavior.) ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/222 "2005-06-24T02:05:49Z")
Inside the box is the corpse of a large cat. . . and a smaller box. The thief checks for traps on the smaller box and [rolls die] “finds” “no” “traps.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/223 "2005-06-24T02:07:20Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > Inside the box is the corpse of a large cat. . . and a smaller box. Ew! Ah well, a dead cat. Maybe it’ll be useful and it’s certainly less gross than fewmets. :: pockets it :: :: unlocks the second box and opens it :: ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/224 "2005-06-24T02:07:23Z")
Scott-- tapping on the walls you hear a hollow sound right between the two giant statues of Aken-aten. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/225 "2005-06-24T02:08:11Z")
\ Anyway…lewt! As resident holy [del]goy[/del] guy, I call dibs on the Yarmulke! ;j So, what’d my strength jump up to? 18/00?? 19?? 37?? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/226 "2005-06-24T02:09:12Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > \ **Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/227 "2005-06-24T02:11:09Z") > [@capybara](#): > > Meanwhile a less time-consuming thief named Filip Fingers appears to you in the corners, where he has yet been unseen, gets one look at the situation and heads up the rope fast. Probably running into Hal. I poke the hollow section with my blade, shrug, and hit it with the pomice of my sword. Hard. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/228 "2005-06-24T02:11:14Z")
The cat, unfortunately, is a quantum mechanical cat. It WAS indeed dead, but all of the thaumato-molecules of the items inside your pocket suddenly shift 3 miles to the left and back. It hurts: you think you might have a bone bruise on your hip. You open the second box and inside is the second physics beast! It’s Maxwell’s Demon and he looks pissed! He hovers in the air and glares at you all. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/229 "2005-06-24T02:13:32Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > The cat, unfortunately, is a quantum mechanical cat. It WAS indeed dead, but all of the thaumato-molecules of the items inside your pocket suddenly shift 3 miles to the left and back. It hurts: you think you might have a bone bruise on your hip. > > You open the second box and inside is the second physics beast! It’s Maxwell’s Demon and he looks pissed! He hovers in the air and glares at you all. Um…shit. Oh great demon, how may we appease you? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/230 "2005-06-24T02:14:07Z")
Hal-- your strength jumps up to 9. Scott-- a hole opens up and a flood of snakes begins to pour out. Snakes! Why does it always have to be snakes!? Maxwell’s Demon opens a tiny trapdoor in the wall next to you and prepares to affect the system. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/231 "2005-06-24T02:15:14Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > Maxwell’s Demon opens a tiny trapdoor in the wall next to you and prepares to affect the system. I’m confessing my ignorance. I have no idea what Maxwell’s Demon is. Or what he’s supposed to be doing. Can we just carry on jumping on Hal? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/232 "2005-06-24T02:16:23Z")
Um… Does the name Christopher Stasheff mean anything to you? How about James Clerk Maxwell? NO? What about the Beatles? ::WHispers? Anyone have a two glass jars with a moleculular hole in the side of each?:: ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/233 "2005-06-24T02:16:32Z")
(They’re only one weapon that can certify Maxwell’s Demon’s death and bring on the white smoke. . . where could it be?!) ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/234 "2005-06-24T02:17:39Z")
Ah, Scott is faster than the others! The demon grabs him by his shirt-shoulders and begins to try to stuff him into the trapdoor! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/235 "2005-06-24T02:18:23Z")
:: runs back and grabs the sword that ScottPlaid dropped :: This??? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/236 "2005-06-24T02:19:56Z")
Ok, 'fraid I have to be an NPC now… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/237 "2005-06-24T02:20:03Z")
Gah? I can’t find my copy of the book? Do I need to ask him to do something odd? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/238 "2005-06-24T02:23:36Z")
Scott, you take 3 points entropy damage! He’s still trying to stuff you through the trapdoor into another room. (there’re still the large chest in the room. But Scott’s helpless right now.) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/239 "2005-06-24T02:25:02Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > (there’re still the large chest in the room. But Scott’s helpless right now.) :: jumps over and opens the other chest :: What’s in here? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/240 "2005-06-24T02:25:48Z")
“Christopher Stasheff?!” the Demon gibbers, “I don’t READ Sci-fi. I have a MASTERS degree. In Science!” He begins push at you with extra vigour. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=13)