# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/241 "2005-06-24T02:26:42Z")
~ **MoonCat** summons the quantom cat back, using her werecat affinity for other cats~ Snakes, eh? ~puts the quantum cat in a spare Emerald Locket, unsheathes Flametongue and her other weapon, a silver dagger~ Bring it. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/242 "2005-06-24T02:27:11Z")
Anamiika-- it’s mostly empty except for a small silver hammer wrapped up in green velvet. I think it must be the legendary Maxwell’s Demon’s Silver Hammer! ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/243 "2005-06-24T02:31:24Z")
The4thMooncat acquires a dead/alive large cat named Schroedinger’s Cat. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/244 "2005-06-24T02:36:17Z")
Woot. (And you can just call me **MoonCat** , if you want.) -yelling- **Anaamika… ANAAMIKA!** ~stands in front of the Hammer, guarding it~ Five minutes, then I get it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/245 "2005-06-24T02:56:02Z")
What the hell do I do with this hammer? :: tosses it to MoonCat :: Here, figure this out! :: grabs an end of ScottPlaid and tries to keep him from being sucked into the hole :: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/246 "2005-06-24T03:03:21Z")
~drops Flametongue, singing several snakes in the process, and grabs the hammer~ GYAA! ~starts beating the poop out of the Demon~ ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/247 "2005-06-24T03:09:37Z")
You hit the Demon with the Hammer, and a booming voice intones “Bang, bang, Maxwellius, Maxwellius, Maxwellius. Hmm. He’s dead, Jim.” Maxwell’s Demon is replaced by a puff of white smoke. Scott drops to the ground, the second law of thermodynamics defended. You all realize through the chaos that you’re now ankle-deep in garter snakes. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/248 "2005-06-24T03:14:55Z")
Right then. ~gets Flametongue from a pile of charred snakes~ Where was I? Oh, yeah. ~starts slicing the poop out of the snakes with Flametongue and a silver dagger~ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/249 "2005-06-24T03:17:06Z")
:: **Sunspace** returns to the top of what turn out to be the stairs, and, hearing joyful voices, and seeing more light and nothing blocking the view of the chamber’s stone floor, comes down. :: You wouldn’t believe what’s behind some of those doors up there… :: He sees the remaining treasure. :: Hey! Treasure! And what happened to, You Know? :: He looks around. A large passage leads off. And there are voices from a nearby room. :: ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/250 "2005-06-24T03:25:04Z")
Oh, yeah. Dragon. Right ~kicks remnants of snakes out of the way~ Hmm… ~starts putting treasure into the cat-less Emerald Locket~ ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/251 "2005-06-24T03:25:21Z")
Hi, ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/252 "2005-06-24T03:27:07Z")
Hi, Sunspace. Hope you brought pringles. Or Tim’s Cascadia potato chips. Jalapeno. Mm. Ok, there’s now an empty large box, and empty small box, an empty chest, and a hole in the wall from which snakes are pouring. They seem mostly harmless. Badger badger badger, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/253 "2005-06-24T03:28:38Z")
Maybe the snakes will fit in these Pringles cans? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/254 "2005-06-24T03:39:20Z")
I’m following **Sunspace** because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/255 "2005-06-24T03:53:49Z")
Well, if the dragon’s run off down the tunnel, I vote we go in the opposite direction. I think you’ll be interested in what’s behinf some of the doors I found. Also, can snakes climb stairs? ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/256 "2005-06-24T03:54:58Z")
~notes the lack of snakes in her vicinity~ You guys go first. I think the snakes are avoiding me, so I’ll go last. I still think we ought to go after the dragon, though. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/257 "2005-06-24T03:56:08Z")
\going into mob status 'til 8:30 am tomorrow. Night all!\ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/258 "2005-06-24T11:24:43Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Also, can snakes climb stairs? Logically you would think they couldn’t, but the scriptwriters decided this was a really silly Achilles heel in what was meant to be a truly fearsome monster, and now not only can many of them levitate up stairs, but a fair few can fly, all the while harshly croaking “EXT…” Oh, wait. I got the pages of my bestiary stuck together with dragon ick when the anti-matter explosion went off. Too bad it did no other damage whatever. (Hmm. I guess this means the speed of light must be _really low_ in this dimension. Wonder where I’ve heard that before.) Anyway, I’ll break out the _Spade of Colossal Gold-Piece Shovelling_ (price 5sp from any good garden centre) and dump some of this convertible currency into my trusty _backpack of toting an unfeasible amount of stuff without actually being rooted to the spot_, though I think I’ll have to toss the ten-foot Pole out first. I don’t think old Steve Zatchij’s going to be too pleased about that, but he’s been getting a free ride for too long. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/259 "2005-06-24T12:19:46Z")
But they’re garter snakes! What can they even do to us? I, too think we should go after the dragon. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/260 "2005-06-24T12:27:49Z")
~back in active status, tapping her foot impatiently~ We’ve emptied the room, now bloody get going already! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=14)