# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/321 "2005-06-24T20:04:29Z")
Not good. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/322 "2005-06-24T20:05:41Z")
No, wait, I misunderstood. I wait and watch. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/323 "2005-06-24T20:12:22Z")
Scott asked: “Um, where is the part on asian vamps?” I dunno. All I know about them is what I pick up from wu xia films. The nasty green monks await further instruction, but they look like they’ll pick up the rules fast. They’ve put away their light sabers and are attentive. One of them says “I think I played this once, at Thieves Tavern down in the Mission in the City. But I’m not sure. Actually it may have been at the Zeitgeist. . . Lucky 13? (another monk elbows him) but go on. We see . . . four. . . dice.” ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/324 "2005-06-24T20:24:11Z")
The were-cat character mooncat, while prowling around the figures against the wall, smells that the red writing on the yellowish-white prayer papers stuck in front of their noses seems to be chicken blood. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/325 "2005-06-24T20:41:12Z")
I head downstairs, since I can’t see what I can do until the game is over. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/326 "2005-06-24T20:46:36Z")
:: rolls his five 6-sided dice, keeps them covered :: “Ah-ha! Full house, fives over threes!” ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/327 "2005-06-24T21:00:40Z")
One of the monks says “Ooh, sorry, forgot” and snaps his fingers. Sunspace can move again. One of the monks rolls his five dice-- he doesn’t manage to keep them all covered with his little fingers-- you see 2 twos, one three, and two fives. “Six sixes!” He says, proudly. The other monks look on expectantly. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/328 "2005-06-24T21:02:00Z")
Scott-- downstairs you see. . . the same stuff as before. The thief corpse is starting to smell. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/329 "2005-06-24T21:02:31Z")
I open the west door. ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/330 "2005-06-24T21:25:08Z")
I watch the paper-ed humans, being the bad liar I am. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/331 "2005-06-24T21:39:09Z")
Scott, you’re supposed to be upstairs translating, babelfish-boy! While Scott’s out the monks and Hal have a few rounds of dice-- they communicate using their fingers to explain what dice they are claiming. All in all, they play pretty poorly. Finally the game ends-- you whipped their butts! You get to keep the Klaus Nomi cassette and the poker chips, hooray. They look distraught, with quivering lower lips and a bit of tears. They shrug. One of them reaches under the table and picks up a couple of bags and shoves them into your arms. Then they all take off runnning down the stairs. As they reach the bottom the steps you hear them whooping and laughing. They must be hysterical and upset! Poor guys. You’re in a small room with a card table, a parcheesi board, and five pallid humans dressed in white, motionless, lined up against a wall with yellowing scrolls attached to their faces, bearing mysterious script written in chicken blood. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/332 "2005-06-24T21:40:54Z")
I am still standing in front of the door, now open. I have gone into the same mode that happens when you leave a platform game hero standing in place for a few minutes. I am checking the straps on my backpack, stretching, and cecking the pouches of “magical nose powder” , and other things I aqm carrying around my waist. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/333 "2005-06-24T21:42:06Z")
They are pretty distracted. I try and kill a few, and ask the rest to explain, if I succed, that is. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/334 "2005-06-24T21:54:18Z")
Ok, Scott. In front you you is a high, wide, well-lit corridor of ashlar masonry. It appears to go on for about 200 feet before it turns to the left. The corridor seems sqeaky clean, like you could eat off the floor. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/335 "2005-06-24T21:55:34Z")
Everyone else-- you’re all still upstairs with the vam. . . motionless humans and the parcheesi board. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/336 "2005-06-24T22:32:17Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > One of them reaches under the table and picks up a couple of bags and shoves them into your arms. Well, I suppose I check the bags. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/337 "2005-06-24T22:32:47Z")
I see a mysical vision of a jewel. It glows right green, then fades to a dull grey. Under it is the wysterious words “capybara is now off line” Weird! I wounder what that meant? I look through my copy of the book, and find something very interesting, which I run upstairs to show to the group. > **[Jiangshi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopping_corpse)** > > A jiangshi, also known as a Chinese hopping vampire, is a type of reanimated corpse in Chinese legends and folklore. The characters for "jiangshi" are read geung-si in Cantonese, cương thi in Vietnamese, and gangsi in Korean. It is also known as phi dip chin in Thai, hantu pocong in Malay, and vampir cina in Indonesia. It is typically depicted as a stiff corpse dressed in Chinese shroud which is sometimes mistaken as official garments from the Qing Dynasty, and it moves around by hopping with Th... > [@](#): > > In the movies, hopping corpses can be put to sleep by putting on their foreheads a piece of yellow paper with a spell written on it (Chinese talisman or 符 pinyin fu2). Generally in the movies the hopping corpses are dressed in imperial Qing Dynasty clothes, their arms permanently outstretched to catch and strangle victims. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/338 "2005-06-24T23:12:22Z")
Capybara comes and goes. Like the wind. Ok, inside the bags are A) a bunch of what appears to be rice; B) what appears to be a bunch of dry red beans and C) a bunch of fresh garlic bulbs. Sheesh, am I the only person who watches these movies? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/339 "2005-06-24T23:14:24Z")
I spread a large handful of rice in the corner furthest from the stairs. That’s all. I forget the rest. Guys, if the vampires come to life, point out the rice. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/340 "2005-06-24T23:30:37Z")
::The words “Mob” appears above Scott’s head.:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=18)