# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/341 "2005-06-24T23:30:42Z")
:: **Sunspace** ,having fallen to the floor, slowly picks himself up. :: Urgh. Ow. What the \*$%%# did those guys _do_ to me? Every muscle achess. And I’m so thirsty. Need. Something. To drink. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/342 "2005-06-24T23:37:21Z")
\> **Bosda** , wearing full Elemental Class Powered Armor, equipped with a Plasma Flamethrower, 2 pulse laser riles, & a Short Range Missle 2 Pack, crashes through the wall.\< FORWARD, GHOST BEAR WARRIORS! The Federated Suns cannot stand before the might of the Heirs of Kerensky…oops. Wrong RPG. Nevermind. Nothing to see here, move along… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/343 "2005-06-25T00:00:51Z")
You got water, warrior? :: looks intently at **Bosda** :: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/344 "2005-06-25T00:15:16Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > You got water, warrior? > > :: looks intently at **Bosda** :: Ummm…not as such, no. I’ll just be going back to the Dropship now… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/345 "2005-06-25T00:21:33Z")
Must. Have. Somethingtodrink. :: Starts to wanders off, suddenly realises there are others in the room. :: Something to drink? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/346 "2005-06-25T00:37:20Z")
Meanwhile, it’s Friday evening and the DM has to get go something to drink. A LOT of something. MOB mode for DM. Someone take over if you get bored. Play whatever you like in here, Bosda. I can’t promise your fancy space physics will work in here, though. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/347 "2005-06-25T04:36:20Z")
Sunspace: Filip Fingers the thief holds up a big 2 liter bottle for you: “gaitor-aide?” ---
**Author:** ![the4thmooncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce7236/32.png) [@the4thmooncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the4thmooncat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/348 "2005-06-25T14:26:48Z")
I thought he was dead. Or was that some other thief? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/349 "2005-06-25T15:06:25Z")
Different thief-- my NPC, not dead Celtic Cowboy downstairs. Sheesh! You want consistency and coherence!? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/350 "2005-06-25T18:11:19Z")
I’ll reconfigure the all-purpose polearm as a voulge-billhook, load a WP round in the APB, and see if I can compose a limerick about oriental vampires. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/351 "2005-06-25T20:28:14Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > Sunspace: Filip Fingers the thief holds up a big 2 liter bottle for you: “gaitor-aide?” …driink… :: grabs bottle :: :: drings in big gulps :: :: suddenly stops, seems to come to :: Whaa… Who? Where am I? What happen– OW! The pain! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/352 "2005-06-25T20:39:05Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Whaa… Who? Where am I? What happen– ::Thinks to himself:: Maybe if I don’t tell him, he woun’t notice. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/353 "2005-06-25T21:41:45Z")
I am totally and completely lost. Did I mention, I only played D&D a couple of times? I’m going to stand over here out of the way… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/354 "2005-06-25T21:42:50Z")
You are doing just fine. ::Ignores the sign on his back.:: ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/355 "2005-06-25T22:38:20Z")
Yes, you’re doing just fine (rolls dice, snickers), just FINE . . . So you guys have a bunch of frozen Chinese vampires, a parcheesi board, and a spiral staircase down. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/356 "2005-06-25T23:25:05Z")
A strong gust of wind suddenly sweeps through the room. . . ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2005, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/357 "2005-06-25T23:44:04Z")
It’s a STORM!!! ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/358 "2005-06-26T01:59:08Z")
and a scroll is blown off the forehead of one of the . . . humans. His eyes flutter open-- they’re totally bloodshot. His arms shoot out so that he is holding them out perpendicularly in front of him-- he moves very stiffly. He hops up and down until he has turned toward Sunspace. His eyes focus on you, and he starts stiffly bunnyhopping toward you, very slowly, perhaps hopping once every 3 seconds or so. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/359 "2005-06-26T02:03:48Z")
Hmm…slow-moving undead, huh? Well…as a cleric, I _could_ try turning them… Naaaaa…I’ll just pants him instead. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/360 "2005-06-26T02:52:46Z")
Uh-oh. I guess I can… stroll… out of here, eh? Saunter in panic? _Walk_ in headlong abandon? _shicker_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=19)