# Who wants to be the Dungeon Master? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657 "2005-06-17T05:09:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/21 "2005-06-18T06:53:01Z")
YES! That’s it! Thanks **BraheSilver.** ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/22 "2005-06-18T07:09:59Z")
Who else, upon seeing the thread title, was expecting S&M porn related queries? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/23 "2005-06-18T07:39:22Z")
Sorry, you’re not geeky enough for this thread. Go hang out at a game store and play a few dozen D&D games. [sub]You should have asked, "Which saving throw do you use against a _riding crop of pleasureable pain_, Will or Fortitude?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/24 "2005-06-18T07:49:31Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > _WHERE ARE THE CHEEETOS?!_ > > snrk > > Since it’s doubtless been a while for some of us, I humbly submit [8 bit D&D.](http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html) I like [this version](http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=220487) better. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/25 "2005-06-18T13:32:25Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Since it’s doubtless been a while for some of us, I humbly submit [8 bit D&D.](http://www.cybermoonstudios.com/8bitDandD.html) Things like this always remind me I’ve only been playing D&D for 6 years or so. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/26 "2005-06-18T16:55:56Z")
Sooooooooo, who’s gonna start the new thread? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/27 "2005-06-19T03:48:39Z")
I just noticed that most of the people in that old thread are no longer with us. _::sigh::_ Too bad there aren’t any _fun_ folks around anymore. _:: looks pointedly at all the un-fun folks ::_ ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/28 "2005-06-19T04:03:12Z")
> [@BraheSilver](#): > > [This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=113824) one? Man, if you guys are gonna be that mean to the thieves, then I want no part in this! ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/29 "2005-06-19T05:45:35Z")
To be fair, the thieves had it comin’. Or they’d do something to warrant it later, for sure, so it was a pre-emptive “backstabbing and corpse-tossing down a possibly trapped stairway.” No jury would convict us. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/30 "2005-06-19T13:07:54Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Things like this always remind me I’ve only been playing D&D for 6 years or so. **8 years?** Why, I’ve got pizza stains on my character sheet older than that! I’ll tell ya - these kids today… blah blah blah uphill to the dingeon - both ways blah blah blah giant rust monster and a box of brillo blah blah blah desecrated my _Fiend Folio_ blah blah blah colored in my dices numerals with crayon wax - and _liked_ it! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/31 "2005-06-19T13:12:13Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > **8 years?** Why, I’ve got pizza stains on my character sheet older than that! I’ll tell ya - these kids today… blah blah blah uphill to the dingeon - both ways blah blah blah giant rust monster and a box of brillo blah blah blah desecrated my _Fiend Folio_ blah blah blah colored in my dices numerals with crayon wax - and _liked_ it! Damn. dingeon = dungeon; dices = dice’s. And yes, I am pedantic. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/32 "2005-06-19T13:14:15Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > **8 years?** Why, I’ve got pizza stains on my character sheet older than that! I’ll tell ya - these kids today… blah blah blah uphill to the dingeon - both ways blah blah blah giant rust monster and a box of brillo blah blah blah desecrated my _Fiend Folio_ blah blah blah colored in my dices numerals with crayon wax - and _liked_ it! And, of course, that should have read “ **6 years**.” Please kill me. Kill me now. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/33 "2005-06-19T14:21:39Z")
I’ve never played it at all. Don’t anyone be too surprised. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/34 "2005-06-20T01:44:03Z")
Ahem. Your party finds itself in a large, rectangular room. There are torches placed along the stone walls every 20 feet or so. There are exits to the north, east, and west and a large wooden door with metal bars and a large padlock to the south. You hear a dripping noise from the northern corridor. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/35 "2005-06-20T02:03:14Z")
The magic missle bounces off the wall wounding Corii’s left kneecap: he now walks like Igor in Young Frankenstein, “Walk this way. . .” After casting the light spell and waiting several minutes for his eyesight to return, Galstaff sees the corpse of a familiar-looking theif behind a pile of rubble itn he southeast corner of the room. BraheSilver stands with his thumbs in his beltloops, nodding proudly. There is also a mostly-drunk bottle of brandy. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/36 "2005-06-20T02:16:26Z")
> [@Noelq](#): > > I viciously attack the Gazebo with my +5 Sword of Hack-ness! You people really don’t want me to bring my preferred weapon into this, do you? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/37 "2005-06-20T02:32:45Z")
FaerieBeth announces hereself as a CutCo knife sales associate for Vector Marketing and pulls a small sample case out of her rucksack. She thinks you’ll be very interested in this set, considering your busy lifestyle. Several party members shriek and withdraw, holding their crossed fingers before their eyes. Is there a cleric in the party? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/38 "2005-06-20T02:51:05Z")
Oh, what the hell…Sure, I’m a cleric. 'Course, if anyone expects any hot _cure light wounds_ action, they best make a mantra out of “I’m Hal’s bitch”. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/39 "2005-06-20T02:59:51Z")
Hal holds a holy symbol aloft, the Seven-Tentacled Squid of Lord Arragggh. FaerieBeth winces and glares for a moment and packs the knives back up, secreting them again into her pack. The dripping from the north becomes louder, as if it approaches. . . ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657/40 "2005-06-20T03:46:37Z")
I’m too cowardly to get up close, can’t be trusted with edged weapons, and am a lousy shot with bows. ::takes out a whip and proceeds to try snapping out one of the torches:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-be-the-dungeon-master/308657.md?page=3)