# Who Wants to Win Cubby's Christmas Present? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2000, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438 "2000-11-16T12:05:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/1 "2000-11-16T12:05:14Z")
In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=46794), I accidently spilled the beans to Cubby on what his Christmas present would be, so now I’ve got to get him a new one. Since I hate to let good chocolate go to waste, I’m going to hold a contest, and the winner gets the calendar. I’ll have to mail it tomorrow, so let’s say we end this contest at midnight, Central Time (USA). Um, I guess whoever writes the best case for getting the calendar wins. Or bribe. Yes, bribes are good. Second place is my 3/4 full bag of Rolos. Third prize is a picture of Cubby’s backside that I forgot to mail to Sue. Do your best and Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/2 "2000-11-16T12:19:01Z")
Just let me get this straight: Being part of this competition means running the risk of getting stuck with a picture of Coldie’s posterior ? Ehm - I might just pass this time, thanks. SNorman ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/3 "2000-11-16T12:20:15Z")
Sorry, on re-reading I realize it was “Cubby”'s posterior. Not that it alters my stance on the entire arrangement… ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/4 "2000-11-16T12:22:42Z")
Oh dear, hadn’t thought about the possibility of a man winning third prize. How about this, the third place winner has the choice between Cubby’s backside or my bellybutton? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/5 "2000-11-16T12:22:43Z")
One of my best friends has a photo album full of butt shots… I’m certain she’d be delighted to add the back end of a complete and total stranger to her collection. I, OTOH, would sell my first-born for chocolate… I keep hoping hubby gets another biz trip overseas so he can bring me some of the good stuff… ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/6 "2000-11-16T14:43:39Z")
It occured to me that not everybody knows what kinder eggs and advent calendars are. A [kinder egg](http://www.kindersurprise.com/) is a hollow chocolate egg with a toy suprize inside. An advent calendar is a box with 24 little windows, you open one a day, starting December 1, and there is a treat inside each window. My favorite are the Playmobil Adventskalendars because you get a whole little scene at the end of the 24 days. Last year I got Santa’s workshop! Anyhoo, please enter my contest or else I will feel like a big loser who picks really crappy gifts that nobody, even Cubby, would want. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/7 "2000-11-16T14:54:39Z")
This is Twisty’s… eh… cousin (yeah! thats a good one!) I deserve it because… eh… I have to put up with him… yeah!! Can I have the gift? you can send it to me c/o twisty. He’ll never know… ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/8 "2000-11-16T15:00:21Z")
Which cousin would that be, eh? #53? #78? Tell you what, you name _all_ of the other cousins, and the eggs are yours. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/9 "2000-11-16T15:02:15Z")
I would like to put my entry in for second prize. I love Rolos. The shape, the mouth feel, the taste… Oh dear, I’m about to embarrass myself here. But if I could have your Rolos, I’d be your bestest friend in Florida!! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/10 "2000-11-16T15:10:19Z")
Here’s my bid for the kinder eggs. I think I should win because my appeal is selfless; I want them for someone else, not for me. Here at work, I have a colleague who was working in my department as a writer. Due to budget cuts, he has been forced to take a lesser position in customer service, and now is working only a few hours a week in my department doing what he loves. He’s being a really good sport about it but I know he’s depressed at this turn of events. He’s a good friend and I would like to do something nice for him. Here’s the best part: He loves kinder eggs! He got some from an overseas friend a while ago and was excitedly showing the toys off here at the office. Help me brighten James’s day. I beseech you. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/11 "2000-11-16T15:11:24Z")
Well, I’d like to enter, since I never herd back from you on the KinderEgg from the “Pez Anyone” thread. :sniff: \ \ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/12 "2000-11-16T15:14:38Z")
Can I be in third place? Please? 🙂 (I won’t try and compete with Cheffy’s slefless appeal for first place…that’s sweet, Chef. _smooch_) ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/13 "2000-11-16T15:16:42Z")
Kinder eggs? Oh, I’m so in on this! Years ago, my sister was a test child for Kinder chocolate bars, and I practically lived on the eggs during my trip to Germany. **tater** , I _need_ to win this. And here’s why: [ul] [li]Remember the **Twistabitch** contest? Well, I lost that and am still heartbroken. I lie awake at night wondering what’s so wrong with me that I don’t deserve a bitch. I contemplate how I could have worded my plea more persuasively. I curse myself for not being more creative, more persistent, more evil. Imagine the damage you’ll do to my already fragile psyche if I lose this contest. You don’t want that hanging over your head, do you?[/li][li]I just finished taking a rather difficult biology exam, and I’m starting to remember why I’m no longer pre-med. Chocolate and the glory of triump would certainly ease the pain of my crushed dream of going to medical school.[/li][li]I’m venturing out into Boston tomorrow night to go swing dancing. The promise of Kinder eggs will surely lure talented partners – and Lord knows I won’t get them any other way, considering my near complete lack of coordination. I’d rather resort to bribery than have to wait for a pity dance.[/li][li]I have to write a research paper this weekend. The Kinder eggs can stand as my motivation, my muse.[/li][li]Did I mention how much I admire you, **tater**? Because I do. A lot. And I’m not saying that just because you hold my chocolate-fate in your hands. Promise. 😃 You are definitely not a big loser, and you don’t pick crappy gifts. Those are the best gifts I’ve ever imagined. You’re truly an inspiration to us all! :)[/li][/ul] How’s that? Should I be more pitiful? Should I suck up more? Tell me what else I need to do, oh wise and beautiful **tatertot**! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/14 "2000-11-16T15:18:20Z")
If I can’t have them, then Cheffie really should!! Give them to cheffie! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/15 "2000-11-16T15:20:54Z")
Ok, I changed my mind, sorry Cheffie, but the fact that Serendepity is soooo sweet is much more important than your sob story. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/16 "2000-11-16T15:31:24Z")
Maybe she is sweet, twisty, but let’s face it: the word _serendipity_ means “the quality of finding **unlooked-for** benefits.” This clearly disqualifies her from actually seeking the benefit of getting some chocolate. Not that I’m going to stoop to mudslinging to win this contest. Tater, did I ever mention what a lovely person you are? How each day I surf to the SD People Pages, hoping for a picture of you? How your generosity shines through your every post (thus inspiring me to my selfless act above as lionized by Falcon)? I didn’t? Well, I’m starting now. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/17 "2000-11-16T15:42:01Z")
I’d like to nominate my kids Claire and Andrew for the kinder egg prize ( I promise not to eat them, really!) BTW, Vie viele für ein Adventskalendar? ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/18 "2000-11-16T16:12:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \* > \*\*Maybe she is sweet, twisty, but let’s face it: the word _serendipity_ means “the quality of finding **unlooked-for** benefits.” This clearly disqualifies her from actually seeking the benefit of getting some chocolate. > > Not that I’m going to stoop to mudslinging to win this contest.\*\* But, but… but you’re a chef! Yeah, that’s it! You should be able to make your own Kinder eggs! Anyway, don’t you think James would rather have one of your amazing food creations, instead? 😉 And besides, the fact that I’m in need of chocolate, and I just _happened_ to stumble onto the radiant **tatertot** ’s thread is vaguely serendipitous. Seriously, though, it sounds like **Chef** ’s friend James is more in need of Kinder eggs than I am. As long as **Twisty** keeps reminding people how sweet I am as a sort of consolation prize, I’m all for James getting the eggs. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/19 "2000-11-16T17:31:00Z")
Oh Tater! My Grandma is coming here tomorrow from Alabama and will be visiting for about a month and she _loves_ Advent calendars. I send her one every year about this time because she likes them so much. Especially the ones like you mentioned that make a scene after the windows are opened. (I personally think she just likes the chocolate) If you pick me it will arrive in time for me to give it to Grandma on December 1! _Please, please, please, please, please._ Maybe begging is a bit much. How about if I tell you that my Grandma is 82 years old and calls me “sugar” in a cute southern accent and she makes the best grits in the world and I haven’t seen her in 3 1/2 years and this will be the first time she sees my kids. An advent calendar like the ones I’ve sent her in the past would be a wonderful gift for her. Don’t ya think. ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge:: ---
**Author:** ![SqrlCub](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SqrlCub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SqrlCub)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2000, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438/20 "2000-11-16T18:10:30Z")
What the hell? I didn’t realize any of you have pictures of my ass floating around. I guess I will have to talk to DC about that and see how to rectumfy (pun intended)it. HUGS! Sqrl [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wants-to-win-cubbys-christmas-present/41438.md?page=2)