# Who was the first to make an ass out of u and me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 30, 2008, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244 "2008-07-30T16:25:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/41 "2013-06-09T22:49:18Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > I first heard it when I watched one of the Bad News Bears movies. I was about 9 or 10, and I thought it was the funniest joke I ever heard. I’ve since matured. 🙂 I first heard it in the film _Echo Park_, but now I’m wondering why so many people remember exactly where they first heard such a trivial and silly joke. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/42 "2013-06-10T00:02:33Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > I first heard it in the film _Echo Park_, but now I’m wondering why so many people remember exactly where they first heard such a trivial and silly joke. Well, [when Tony Randall did it in TOC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfvTwv5o1Qs) he did it quite well and it was pretty funny! ---
**Author:** ![svd678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@svd678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/svd678)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/43 "2013-06-10T00:36:31Z")
#34,35 “arse” is not a word used in America. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/44 "2013-06-10T00:52:44Z")
> [@Hail\_Ants](#): > > Well, [when Tony Randall did it in TOC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfvTwv5o1Qs) he did it quite well and it was pretty funny! Please tell me this is the biggest whoosh since the Concorde. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/45 "2013-06-10T01:24:52Z")
> [@Hail\_Ants](#): > > Well, [when Tony Randall did it in TOC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfvTwv5o1Qs) he did it quite well and it was pretty funny! > [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Please tell me this is the biggest whoosh since the Concorde. Not in the least. It _was_ funny. Your mileage must vary. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/46 "2013-06-10T01:55:41Z")
Told to my PE class by a school athletic director in 1968 when discussing how to position yourself on the field. I would bet money it was a used in athletic coaching for some time before I heard it from him. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/47 "2013-06-10T02:30:58Z")
> [@Hail\_Ants](#): > > First place I ever heard this was **Al Franken’s** great **Stuart Smalley** SNL character. It was the one where he was talking to Michael Jordan (the host) so we’re talking early 90s. I had never heard it before that so I found it really funny (still do). By the way, full joke is, _“Remember, **denial** ain’t just a river in Egypt!”_ The [Quote Investigator weighs in] ([Quote Origin: Denial Is Not a River in Egypt – Quote Investigator®](http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/11/denial-not-river/#more-3789)). ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/48 "2013-06-10T03:21:13Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Not in the least. It _was_ funny. Your mileage must vary. A whoosh is a deliberate joke. The deliberate part was and is still up in the air. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/49 "2013-06-10T03:38:40Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > A whoosh is a deliberate joke. The deliberate part was and is still up in the air. So where’s the joke in **Hail Ants’** statement? Please explain why you thought it was a whoosh. Randall delivered the joke well and it _was_ quite funny, so I took his comment as a serious statement ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/50 "2013-06-10T03:47:41Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > It was funny at the time and slightly shocking since I hadn’t heard words like Ass too often on network tv in the early '70s. Yes, the use of “ass” on television in this era would be a bit shocking (as I recall, anyway), which might be why it got such a big laugh from the audience. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/51 "2013-06-10T03:50:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > As long as we’ve revived the subject. I asked this once before and couldn’t get a definitive answer. > > On an episode of _MASH_ there was a scene where Col Flagg (the military intelligence agent) used the line “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you”. Was this the original use of that line or did it predate _MASH_? You’ve asked it, and so has **Elendir’s Heir** and **Johanna**. The top 3 google hits are those threads. Tv tropes does not mention M_A_S\*H, and while it sounds exactly like something Flagg would say, I’m not sure he did. Are you? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/52 "2013-06-10T03:56:15Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > So where’s the joke in **Hail Ants’** statement? Please explain why you thought it was a whoosh. Randall delivered the joke well and it _was_ quite funny, so I took his comment as a serious statement Because he’s stating in post #42 what was already directly in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/53 "2013-06-10T04:01:47Z")
Oh, is that the problem? He didn’t think he was mentioning the _ **Odd Couple** _ for the first time in the thread. He was answering the question “why do so many people remember where they first heard such a dumb joke?” The answer is, because for many of us it was _ **TOC** _, and it was really damned funny! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/54 "2013-06-10T04:14:12Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Because he’s stating in post #42 what was already directly in the OP. He was? > [@Biggirl](#): > > I remember the first time I heard that joke. It was The Odd Couple and Felix got a traffic ticket. Instead of paying it, he took it to court and had a whole presentation ready. At one point in his cross-examination, the witness said, “Well, I just assumed. . .” > > Felix wrote the word on his chalkboard and then graphically pointed out how assuming makes an ass out of you and me. > > But this joke feels older to me. Are there any earlier tellings of this joke or did it originate with The Odd Couple? I’m not going to continue arguing, but I wonder if we’re reading the same thread. Anyway, I agree Tony Randall delivered the joke well, and it was quite funny for 1973, so if **Hail Ants** intended the opposite, then I’ll admit to being whooshed. @ **Exapno** : Otherwise, as I said, different people think different things are funny. If you didn’t think it was, I’ll take your word for it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/55 "2013-06-10T04:14:37Z")
I think the first person to do this would be the first literate 12 year old who saw the word being written. “That says ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/56 "2013-06-10T05:33:13Z")
> [@bup](#): > > You’ve asked it, and so has **Elendir’s Heir** and **Johanna**. > > The top 3 google hits are those threads. Tv tropes does not mention M_A_S\*H, and while it sounds exactly like something Flagg would say, I’m not sure he did. Are you? I can’t cite it other than saying I remember his character saying it (to Henry Blake). ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/57 "2013-06-10T12:51:11Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > So where’s the joke in **Hail Ants’** statement? Please explain why you thought it was a whoosh. Randall delivered the joke well and it _was_ quite funny, so I took his comment as a serious statement Yeah, what he said. Wasn’t being ironic or sarcastic, when I saw that bit on TOC as a kid I found it really funny and still find Randall’s delivery perfect (more so than just the silly word pun). ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/58 "2013-06-11T02:41:44Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > “Ass” meaning “buttocks” in addition to “donkey” or “foolish person” dates back at least to Shakespeare. To Apuleius, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/59 "2013-06-11T14:58:23Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I think the first person to do this would be the first literate 12 year old who saw the word being written. > > “That says ass.” I specifically remember getting amused, as a 12 yr old, by the last three letters in “alge **bra** ”. ---
**Author:** ![daveb81](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@daveb81](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daveb81)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244/60 "2014-05-08T21:45:16Z")
“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.” ~ Oscar Wilde on Assumption Since he died in 1900, it’s quite old. Don’t know the year. Here’s one of the many articles I can cite: [http://www.drelizabethgreen.com/assume-ass-u-me/](http://www.drelizabethgreen.com/assume-ass-u-me/) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-first-to-make-an-ass-out-of-u-and-me/458244.md?page=4)