# Who was the worst pirate? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 23, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750 "2010-09-23T06:25:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/21 "2010-09-26T13:11:27Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > > [@Lust4Life](#): > > > > Didn’t Blackbeard shoot his friend Israel Hands legs under the table crippling him as a drunken joke ? > > > > Though I suppose in context this could be taken as “High jinks in the mess”. > > Hands shot first! I need your coordinates for the orbital impact, please. ---
**Author:** ![Dioptre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@Dioptre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dioptre)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/22 "2010-09-26T13:39:36Z")
When I saw the thread title, my first thought was “the leader of those Somali pirates who accidentally tried to capture the French anti-piracy command ship”. Seriously though, there isn’t a GQ answer to this without some parameters. Fairly recent pirates who were also slavers would have to come close to the top of the list if you include their activities as piracy. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/23 "2010-09-26T17:45:33Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > L’Olonnais was not a pirate but a buccanneer. > Are we supposed to mix pirates and buccanneers in this thread , or should we treat them as history does, and as they deserve, that is separate categories? [“Buccaneer”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buccaneer) these days is pretty much synonymous with pirate. Although many buccaneers were privateers (if that’s the distinction you’re making), others were not. I could be wrong, but as far as I am aware L’Olonnais was usually not sailing under letters of marque, and hence an ordinary pirate and not a privateer. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/24 "2010-09-27T01:34:25Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > Didn’t Blackbeard shoot his friend Israel Hands legs under the table…? In the Special Edition, **Greyishbeard** (Blackbeard’s director friend) added special effects to make it look like Israel shot first. ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/25 "2010-09-27T01:58:55Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Hands shot first! Thread win. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/26 "2010-09-27T04:21:07Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > > [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > > > L’Olonnais was not a pirate but a buccanneer. > > Are we supposed to mix pirates and buccanneers in this thread , or should we treat them as history does, and as they deserve, that is separate categories? > > [“Buccaneer”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buccaneer) these days is pretty much synonymous with pirate. Although many buccaneers were privateers (if that’s the distinction you’re making), others were not. I could be wrong, but as far as I am aware L’Olonnais was usually not sailing under letters of marque, and hence an ordinary pirate and not a privateer. No, the distinction I’m making is that Buccaneers were motivated by nationalism, and faith. They didnt necessearily have letters of marque, but they were focusing on particular targets, according to nationalities and hostilities between nations. Besides the age of Buccaneers happens when Spain dominates the game, that of pirates is when Britain takes over. As I said I think Buccaneers were crueler than pirates, the latters fought to plunder and live a dream of liberty, Buccaneers fought as privateers, more or less for their nation or their faith. Somehow you’ll always be crueler if you have a centuries old grudge against your captives. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Captain\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/27 "2010-09-27T07:27:32Z")
Johnny Depp. Please, a 5 year old could beat him up. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/28 "2010-09-27T14:20:54Z")
Capt. Henry Morgan used torture several times to get the inhabitants of various seaports to tell him where they were hiding their valuables. Not nice. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/29 "2010-09-27T14:49:28Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > Dread Pirate Wesley. > > Oh, wait a minute, I thought you were asking for the most incompetent pirate… That could be almost any player on Pittsburgh’s roster. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/30 "2010-09-27T17:56:42Z")
> [@blue\_infinity](#): > > How about [Edward](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Low) [Low](http://www.badassoftheweek.com/edwardlow.html). > > > [@](#): > > > > what really sets Edward Low apart from his pirate brethren was the fact that he really got his roger jolly by committing insane acts of brutality on those sailors unfortunate enough to find themselves in his custody. This guy was completely insane, and quickly became notorious and appropriately-feared by men across the Atlantic for his penchant for finding new and colorful ways to torture those captured sailors who were unwilling to voluntarily join his vicious, lawless crew of pirates. This guy would cut peoples’ ears and noses off, set fire to their hands and feet (Jom Gabbar style), burn them alive, decapitate them, throw them off the yardarm of his ship, and whip them relentlessly with pistols, cat o’ nine tails, rubber hoses, and/or large wet noodles. He sold the ears he cut off for a dollar apiece ,thereby becoming Americas first Buccaneer. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/31 "2010-09-27T18:00:45Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > He sold the ears he cut off for a dollar apiece ,thereby becoming Americas first Buccaneer. :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/32 "2010-09-27T18:05:06Z")
The worst pirate was the one who never stole anything, killed anybody, or committed any other acts of piracy. Everybody in this thread seems to be arguing about who the\* best \*pirate was. ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/33 "2010-09-27T19:25:30Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > If we keep them separate, I think Rackham was a pirate and since he invented “the plank” maybe he deserves the title. For some reason I think the buccanneers tended to be crueler than pirates, maybe because they still cared about nationalities and religious faiths. I think you are referring to “Calico Jack” Rackham, though he never forced anyone to “walk the plank”, which was a much later addition of fiction writers as far as I know. However, [Calico Jack](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calico_Jack)belongs in any discussion of pirates because, despite his own utter incompetence, his name will forever be linked with [Anne Bonney](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny)and [Mary Read](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Read). ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/34 "2010-09-27T19:40:30Z")
[This article](http://www.vietka.com/Vietnamese_Boat_People/HorribleStatistics.htm) doesn’t mention a specific pirate leader, and the article isn’t well sourced, but to me, the actions of Thai pirates during the Vietnamese Boat People diaspora are worse than the crimes of Teach, Roberts, _et al_ that you all have already ably mentioned. Perhaps **Siam Sam** can chime in, but I was told it was not uncommon in the early 80s for bodies to frequently wash ashore in Thailand/Malaysia from the actions of these pirates. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/35 "2010-09-28T05:30:11Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#): > > [This article](http://www.vietka.com/Vietnamese_Boat_People/HorribleStatistics.htm) doesn’t mention a specific pirate leader, and the article isn’t well sourced, but to me, the actions of Thai pirates during the Vietnamese Boat People diaspora are worse than the crimes of Teach, Roberts, _et al_ that you all have already ably mentioned. Perhaps **Siam Sam** can chime in, but I was told it was not uncommon in the early 80s for bodies to frequently wash ashore in Thailand/Malaysia from the actions of these pirates. You are absolutely correct. The Vietnamese boat people were horribly victimized by all sorts of pirates in this region. No one knows how many were killed after being robbed of their meager possessions. Vietnamese boat people were always washing up on the shore down South on the peninsula. An American friend of mine who lived down South at the time, an author, wrote a fictional novel called [Boat People](http://www.dcothai.com/product_info.php?products_id=32) with this theme. Pirates remain active. The problem with catching them is that none is a full-time professional pirate, like the movie pirates who spend their off hours in the pirate lair drinking rum and going “Yo ho ho!” They’re generally all fishermen who freelance as pirates as the opportunity arises. Even cruise ships are not immune from attacks. A common technique is to stretch a long rope between two boats in the path of a big liner at night. The liner will catch the rope, pulling the boats along in its wake. The pirates will climb aboard the liner via the rope, overpower the few crewmen on watch, plunder a bit, then take off. The area between the Indonesian island of Sumatra and peninsular Malaysi is especially a hotbed of piracy. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/36 "2010-09-28T14:19:43Z")
I’ve said it for years: time to bring back Q-ships for anti-piracy work. > **[Q-ship](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q-ships)** > > Q-ships, also known as Q-boats, decoy vessels, special service ships, or mystery ships, were heavily armed merchant ships with concealed weaponry, designed to lure submarines into making surface attacks. This gave Q-ships the chance to open fire and sink them. The use of Q-ships contributed to the abandonment of cruiser rules restricting attacks on unarmed merchant ships and to the shift to unrestricted submarine warfare in the 20th century. > They were used by the British Royal Navy and the Germa... ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/37 "2010-09-28T16:37:33Z")
Since nobody else has said it yet: “You are absolutely the worst pirate I have ever heard of.” “Ah, but you _have_ heard of me.” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/38 "2010-09-28T16:43:47Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I’ve said it for years: time to bring back Q-ships for anti-piracy work. Important safety warning: NEVER insert Q-ships into the ear canal itself. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/39 "2010-09-28T16:55:14Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > > [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > > > I’ve said it for years: time to bring back Q-ships for anti-piracy work. > > Important safety warning: NEVER insert Q-ships into the ear canal itself. Do, however, insert them into the Straits of Malacca. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Captain\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750/40 "2010-09-28T23:21:47Z")
I think it is strange that there is actually sea piracy going on now, in the 21st Century. I thought for some reason that piracy more or less died out over a 100 years ago due basically to the design of the ships and improvements in defense and weapons on board otherwise targeted ships. Did pirates ever use the Jolly Roger? Did any of them own a parrot? How many pirates to a boat? Who owned the boat? How many of the things that is stereotypical about pirates, and which were fantasies? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-was-the-worst-pirate/554750.md?page=3)