Who were the most incompetent generals of all time?

I recently read an interesting book, Hell Riders, that looked at the Charge of the Light Brigade. He pointed out that the numbers wounded weren’t quite as severe as led to believe. Also, strictly speaking, the charge was a moderate success. The charge broke through the russian lines and threatened to route the russian cavalry behind the artillery.

Granted, there was SERIOUS miscommunication going on, and they were most likely supposed to attack the Russians on one of the hills, and charging straight at an artillery line through cross fire makes one question the logic.

But the conventional wisdom of the Charge as a bloodbath for no reason, that failed, is not entirely accurate.

Apparently there is a group of historians that are revisiting just how bad McClellan was. I personally am under the “Little Mac was a fool” banner, but there are historians who disagree, who say he was a victim of Washington politics. And as for the overestimating of the Rebel strength, that was due to … damn, I can’t remember his name,… the railroad detective… shoot. Anywho, I’ve never read WHY the guy got the numbers so wrong. It would be interesting to see if he was using some wildly ineffective counting needs, or was mislead by Confederate spies, or was a Con-symp.

And in his run for presidency, McClellan opposed his own parties platform of ending the war and negotiating. That was the party platform. McClellan stated that he would continue the fight. I’m sure McClellan was much more open to the idea of negotiation than Lincoln ever would be, but to say McClellan was going to end the war isn’t totally accurate.

Interesting if true, I knew the brigade wasn’t completely destroyed (although did take heavy casualties), but was unaware that it had been even moderately successful on a tactical level.

I hate to say this, because I deeply admire the man and what he achieved and stood for, but I have to nominate Jimmy Doolittle. As head of a commission to investigate military training post-WW2, he is widely held to be responsible for a “humanizing” move in basic training that is said to have lost the U.S. several key battles in Korea.

Doolittle might just have been an idealist old commander in a cynical new era. The U.S. citizen-soldier of WW2, impressed quickly into a mass national emergency, was well trained, but not well indoctrinated - not at all what was needed to fight a Cold War, where indoctrination was essential to define enemy, duty, and country itself.

Allan Pinkerton

I might take issue with this as well. As incompetent as McClellan seems today the real incompetence is in his civilian command who put his square peg in the round hole of field command.

Had McClellan stayed in Maryland as the general in charge of recruitment, training, preparation and logistics the war might have ended earlier. McClellan was a true genius of organization.

A proper use of available skills would have had Lincoln and the War Department tell McClellan, “Holy Shit! George, we’re about to send every damn kid we can find to you. Here’s the blank check, turn 'em into an army. Once they’re ready you can send them to Meade or Hooker or whomever is around.”

It’s not someone’s fault if the people above them place them in roles they don’t have the skills to do well.

Well…does Francisco Solano Lopez count?

Probably not close enough to a “general” to qualify, strictly speaking.

The Italians in WWII had a few extraordinarily foolish generals. I’d have to revisit some history books to track down the names, dates and other details, but OTTOMH there were these two notable examples:

North Africa: an Italian general leads his army [or maybe battalion, it might’ve been only a couple of thousand soldiers involved] into the Sahara desert in pursuit of Montgomery, IIRC. The general’s staffers are perturbed; they’ve already scheduled a rendevous to pick up area maps and desert native guides and urge their boss to do so prior to heading out, but the general’s attitude is, “we don’t need no steenkin’ maps or native guides,” so off they go. Naturally, they get lost and aren’t seen at the watering hole they were supposed to reach two or three days later, so some higher-ups order an immediate recon operation to locate them. Fortunately, this mission succeeds, just as the lost troops are exhausting their water supplies.

Balkans campaign: the Italian general in charge of this fiasco would habitually stop working early in the evening in order to indulge his passion and avocation – composing film scores for the Italian film industry. (There is just something so deliciously Italian, for good and ill, in this stereotype-come-to-life, isn’t there?) A month or two into the campaign, the Italians had stalled and were beginning to be pushed back, necessitating a forceful German intervention and takeover of the campaign.

George MacDonald Fraser detailed quite a few real-life moronic generals in his Flashman series, including Custer.

“Whomever is around” would have been the best choice of the three.

I know McClellan publicly stated while running for President that he would continue fighting, but with his party’s antiwar stand and his own history of avoiding conflict I have to wonder if he wouldn’t have accepted stalemate if elected.

Another general who had a promising start (prewar) and then nose-dived is Conrad von Hotzendorf, who commanded the Austrian armies in WWI and managed among other things to get pasted by the Serbians, Russians and Italians. He did begin the war with an offensive, which did not go well:

“By the third week in September, Hoetzendorf ordered a general retreat. and the province of Galicia was abandoned by the Austrians at a cost of over 130,000 casualties!”

The first-linked site has the rather harsh conclusion:

"Conrad’s lack of success in commanding his armies on both fronts effectively brought down the Austro-Hungarian empire. "

I suspect the German WWI officer who said “We are shackled to a corpse” (in reference to the Austrians) had Conrad’s leadership at least partly in mind.

I was going to nominate Santa Anna myself, I cannot believe how he managed to lose so often with so many advantages. The US had a great advantage in horse drawn artillery, but that was it. The ground, the numbers, almost everything else was Santa Anna’s advantage.

That’s again unfair to some of them, Meade especially. Thrust into very difficult circumstance Meade did very well at Gettysburg. That he punted the follow up is, to me, due to his inexperience with his troops rather than anything else.

Still, I maintain that the right parts, used the right way, would have ended the war at least a year earlier.

Hell, it took until 1964 for Grant and Sherman to really be recognized. Imagine a Union army with McClellan doing logistics and training, Grant driving the strategy, and Sherman as free safety/harassment and shock. Three Stonewall Jacksons commanded by Lee would have had trouble with that one.

Custer’s decisions are Little Big Horn were obviously wrong but not incomprehensible. Custer was experienced at fighting campaigns against Indians. So he knew that a camp of the size that was observed would have a number of warriors comparible to his own forces. And he also knew that under those circumstances the Indians were likely to withdraw from the camp. So he moved ahead as quickly as possible to attack before the Indians got away.

The mistake he made was not realizing this was not a typical camp, which would have had a few hundred warriors with a couple of thousand family members. (This matched the pre-campaign estimates that there were approximately 800 warriors in the camp.) But this camp was a war camp - most of the Indians present were warriors. And they had gathered in that number to fight and did not plan on retreating.

Drat. I was going to mention him.

If fictional* examples are allowed, then Mark Twain gives an example in a short story of his simply titled “Luck”. He relates the career of someone he gives the pseudonym of “Lieutenant-General Lord Arthur Scoreby”. Despite being “the supremest ass in the universe”, he advances from cadet to high station and acclaim by sheer dumb luck, his very blunders being taken for inspired genius when they serendipitously succeed.

*In a footnote, Twain claims this is a true story; whether that’s a fictional device or not, I don’t know

Some notes on McClellan:

There really is no way to defend his reputation, and I expect his “rehabilitation” is one of those periodic idiocies which younger historians use to advance their own careers.

Here is the lowdown: McClellan seemed to be da Bomb. He was the scion of the elite, a worthy opponent to Lee in status. He had experienced success all his life at everything he tried. He was a skilled commander (keep reading…), who distinuigshed himself as a junior officer, with experience managing huge enterprises (he had been a railroad executive). He was connected politically, in a climate of fierce and often confused political storms. He dad everything you could want, period. And early in the war, hard work from more energetic subordinates (notably WIlliam S. Rosecranz, who was an erratically brillian/awful general who suffered a breakdown at Chickamauga) gave him an undeserved halo.

But he had no guts. He refused to risk anything to succeed. Some try to blame Pinketo, but this is impraobable. Pinkerton’s agents sent him reasonably accurate reports that we know of; McClellan seems to have simply used them to confirm his own fears. And even had Pinkerton fouled up, when presented with the actual facts staring him in the face McClellan stuck to his fanciful figures. I believe at one point he claimed Lee had over 500,000 soldiers - but Lee had less than 150,000.

No other commander, including some who were not known for military knowledge or good sense, believed this. McClellan did because he wanted to, and he thrice left opportunities to destroy Johnson and later Lee and take Richmond. That early in the war, Richmond was imbued with a little less import than it later came to have as a symbol of the South, but its loss would probably have meant the loss of the entire east. The Rebellion would have certainly withered and died without it, and without the population, wealth, and industry of the east. Later, Pope had Lee in the perfect position to strike, but lacked the numbers, and McClellan essentially refused to respond. In fact, McClellan very nearly committed treason, refusing a legitimate order from a superior without cause, so he could sulk in his tent.

Pope had his own issues, and offended his troops and officers needlessly. He was no fool on the battlefield, however, and his removal was more a matter of the demands of the moment than a ringing condemnation of his skill.

Ambrose Burnside was another incompetent one, but to his credit he knew it and did not want command. It was forced upon him for want of any alternative.

Hooker was another failure, because he lacked the guts for high-level command. Unlike McClellan, he was more willing to take a subordinate role (and his reputation as Fightin’ Joe was well-earned). He served grant well in Tennessee later, although the two men’s differences eventually led to his removal.

The greatest advantage of age is the greater number of puns you can make. Or, in the case of Jubilation T. Cornpone, the pop culture references you can make.

Not to pile any further on poor old Jimmy, but it must be mentioned that he is best known to this day for a mission in which all 16 planes were lost, and which he himself regarded as a dismal failure.

Doolittle was responsible for one unsung allied advantage in World War II. In the thirties he was in involved in aviation planning and he insisted the War Department support the development of 100 octane fuel. Based on his insistance, the War Department made 100 octane the standard and the oil industry had to develop processes to manufacture it in bulk for military sales. And when the war came, Allied aircraft had a major advantage over Axis aircraft because of this better fuel.

How about General Tso? I mean, all most people know about him is that he’s chicken.
g,d & r :stuck_out_tongue: