# Who will play you on Straight Dope: The Motion Picture **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2000, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739 "2000-07-06T09:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/21 "2000-07-06T15:37:13Z")
I have a feeling no matter who I name here, no one will ever picture me as anything but a little cartoon bear keeping an eye out for Ranger Smith while a bigger bear steals pic-a-nic baskets. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/22 "2000-07-06T15:47:10Z")
Howard Stern. * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Two months, three weeks, six days, 13 hours, 48 minutes and 55 seconds. 3543 cigarettes not smoked, saving $442.88. Life saved: 1 week, 5 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/23 "2000-07-06T16:02:04Z")
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss can play me. Or Angelina Jolie, but maybe that’s just my little dream. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/24 "2000-07-06T16:05:38Z")
I’d play myself. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/25 "2000-07-06T16:11:31Z")
Drew Barrymore can play me, but first she has to swallow rosie odonnell. ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/26 "2000-07-06T16:22:18Z")
Ray Parks. He’d wear the Darth Maul costume minus the makeup, and a mask. Of course he’d have to kill Darth Sidious; Arkon is no villain’s henchman. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/27 "2000-07-06T16:30:17Z")
Dennis Leary. No, we don’t look alike, but he could grow a beard and wear let his hair grow for a few years. That would help. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/28 "2000-07-06T16:44:05Z")
Anthony Hopkins, of course. Wanna make something of it? \ If he’s not available, I’ll do it myself. I do my own stunts. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/29 "2000-07-06T16:58:13Z")
Courtney Love. Definitely. I can look a lot like her if I don’t comb my hair and smear my makeup, that and the fact I can be a total bitch at times. ---
**Author:** ![loud\_mouthed\_mime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@loud\_mouthed\_mime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loud_mouthed_mime)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/30 "2000-07-06T18:18:47Z")
Ahhh… This would easily be the blockbuster movie event of the summer, wouldn’t it? And loud mouthed mime would be played by Mr. Kevin Kline. \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/31 "2000-07-06T19:06:09Z")
Jeff Goldblum, so long as he adds about twenty pounds of muscle and a good deal of hair. And the glasses. And gets extensions. And a preppy wardrobe . . . ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/32 "2000-07-06T19:12:58Z")
I would be played by Mel Gibson, but only after he changed his accent to southern american. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/33 "2000-07-06T19:26:01Z")
Well, it would have been Sir John Gielgud, but he’s dead and I’ve never been anywhere near cool enough anyway. I guess [Jean Reno](http://us.imdb.com/Name?Reno,+Jean) could manage a good Tymp. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/34 "2000-07-06T19:58:45Z")
I’ve been trying to think of a _person_ who could play me. I’m sort of an R rated ethnic Disney heroine. Every time one of those movies coms out my desk gets flooded with Burger King action figures … Pochahontas, Princess Jasmine, Mulan, the little girl at the end of the Jungle Book… If anyone would like to suggest a live person I’ll let you know who’s closest. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/35 "2000-07-06T20:00:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > > **I can look a lot like her if I don’t comb my hair and smear my makeup, that and the fact I can be a total bitch at times.** I take issue with that, Dianne. _“At times”?_ ::fleeing:: * * * Yer pal, Satan _I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Two months, three weeks, six days, 17 hours, 59 minutes and 5 seconds. 3549 cigarettes not smoked, saving $443.75. Life saved: 1 week, 5 days, 7 hours, 45 minutes._ ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/36 "2000-07-06T21:50:04Z")
Shirley Hemphill. Or maybe Divine. Are either of them still alive? ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/37 "2000-07-06T22:37:10Z")
I have always been told I look much like Waldo from “where’s waldo” but if you put David Spade on a rack, stretch him out to 6 foot three, color his hair and add glasses he would work in a pinch. Osip ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/38 "2000-07-06T22:45:40Z")
Well, I’m told that I look like a cross between Tom Hanks and Weird Al Yankovitch. It all depends on how recently I’ve trimmed my moustache. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/39 "2000-07-06T22:56:51Z")
Ann-Margret. Of course, she’s be considerably taller than me, and her red hair isn’t real like mine, but she is just so _cool!_ ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739/40 "2000-07-06T23:15:34Z")
Chris Farley. 'nuff said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-will-play-you-on-straight-dope-the-motion-picture/24739.md?page=3)