# Who wins? Undead zombies vs. Evil Clowns? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 4, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974 "2017-10-04T18:45:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/1 "2017-10-04T18:45:04Z")
Happy Halloween (almost). It’s that time of the year again for idle, useless speculation about which horror movie monster or boogeyman is the toughest, strongest, wiliest, and/or slickest. Who could be who in a fight? My idle speculation today is a “death match” between a horde of Romero-style, shuffling, flesh-eating zombies versus a carload of evil killer clowns (or Klowns if you prefer.) Who do you think would win? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/2 "2017-10-04T19:04:07Z")
Well aren’t Evil Clowns reasoning creatures? Don’t several have supernatural powers? Can’t they use weapons and drive vehicles? If that is true, I don’t see slow zombies having a strong chance. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/3 "2017-10-04T19:20:08Z")
The Clowns start off strong, and it looks like a run-a-way, but the zombies slowly wear them down and win the battle of attrition. Gimme that Zombie Head! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/4 "2017-10-04T20:09:55Z")
That’s just what we need around here, zombie killer clowns. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/5 "2017-10-04T20:32:05Z")
Just a carload? The clowns get overwhelmed after “thinning the herd” down quite a bit (but not, obviously, enough to prevent their gory demise). I’m thinkin’ that three carloads could take this, if they were prepared for the undead goons. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/6 "2017-10-04T20:37:20Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > That’s just what we need around here, zombie killer clowns. It’s been [done.](https://youtu.be/OK7Hm5IztPc?t=1m30s) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/7 "2017-10-04T21:32:45Z")
But how long does it take to get 74 clowns out of a VW Beetle? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/8 "2017-10-04T21:44:33Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > But how long does it take to get 74 clowns out of a VW Beetle? Pretty fast with detachable body parts and clown teeth. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/9 "2017-10-04T23:54:58Z")
How many on each side? Also “evil clowns” seems a bit redundant to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/10 "2017-10-05T01:49:04Z")
It’s a trick question. A “carload” of clowns equals a “horde” of anything else. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/11 "2017-10-05T01:51:34Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Also “evil clowns” seems a bit redundant to me. They are the ones with balloons. Pay attention, there will be a quiz on Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/12 "2017-10-05T01:57:40Z")
It depends: Are the zombies limited to only being able to do what they’re able to do? In most zombie movies, the zombies can only move at a slow lumbering shuffle… and yet, they still manage to outrun the high school track star. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/13 "2017-10-05T13:45:35Z")
I’ll take zombie Shakespeare over Pennywise any day. ---
**Author:** ![Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake_Plissken_1)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/14 "2017-10-25T20:57:07Z")
Or Twisty. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2017, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/15 "2017-10-25T23:25:38Z")
Scooby dooby doo, where are you? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/16 "2017-10-26T01:07:51Z")
Pennywise is very clever. He’d outwit the zombies every time. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-wins-undead-zombies-vs-evil-clowns/797974/17 "2017-10-26T14:20:58Z")
This is too open ended. What is the scenario? You’ve got to give us a set-up. Otherwise, you have an astronauts versus cavemen situation where there are too many variables to resolve.