# Who would win a catfight: Monica, Rachael, or Phoebe? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 9, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515 "2000-03-09T17:23:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/1 "2000-03-09T17:23:00Z")
I think Monica would have the combination of speen and cunning. ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/2 "2000-03-09T17:26:00Z")
Speen??? Speed? Wicked left spleen, who knows what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![jayburner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jayburner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayburner)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/3 "2000-03-09T17:32:00Z")
I have to agree with you there…Monica would eat your spleen for breakfast… ---
**Author:** ![Gumby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@Gumby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gumby)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/4 "2000-03-09T17:33:00Z")
ONe thing I know for sure, it wouldn’t be Rachel, but still not too sure about the other two. I mean Phoebe has the street cred, but Monica is a mean crafty little bitchy. hmmmmm. Gonna have to go with you on this one, Monica would not give up whereas Phoebe would get bored within the first 30 seconds. * * * “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” Dennis Wholey ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/5 "2000-03-10T06:09:00Z")
Sorry, but this question has already been answered. Rachel and Monica were arguing. Phoebe simultaneously wrestled both of them into submission and made them apologize to each other. Phoebe then said “That was so cool. If we were in prison, you’d be my bitchs.” ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/6 "2000-03-10T06:12:00Z")
Yes, Jayburner, and I would eat hers in return! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/7 "2000-03-10T06:32:00Z")
I’m not sure I agree. In the eyedrops episode, Monica wrestles Rachel to the ground quite easily, and Rachel exclaims, “Oh, my God! You really are freakishly strong!” This was hearkening back to an earlier comment made by Chandler about Monica. I agree that Phoebe got the better of both of them, but this was when they were concentrating on fighting each other, and Pheebs got the advantage of surprise. In a more balanced catfight, so to speak, my money is on Monica. - Rick ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/8 "2000-03-09T19:25:00Z")
Let’s not forget catfights always have these two elements: hair pulling and bra grabbing. Pheebs, I believe, currently has long hair and a substantial chest (easily grabbed). Monica has the shortest hair, but an impressive rack-to-ribcage ratio. Rachel’s hair is the longest, but she rarely wears a bra, so no disadvantage there. I still go with Monica, even though Rachel may have a better center of gravity. Maybe if Rach stayed on her feet, but catfights usually end up on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/9 "2000-03-09T19:26:00Z")
Let’s not forget catfights always have these two elements: hair pulling and bra grabbing. Pheebs, I believe, currently has long hair and a substantial chest (easily grabbed). Monica has the shortest hair, but an impressive rack-to-ribcage ratio. Rachel’s hair is the longest, but she rarely wears a bra, so no disadvantage there. I still go with Monica, even though Rachel may have a better center of gravity. Maybe if Rach stayed on her feet, but catfights usually end up on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![FlatULance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@FlatULance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlatULance)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-catfight-monica-rachael-or-phoebe/14515/10 "2000-05-05T13:11:34Z")
I **loves** a catfight.