# Who would win: a grizzly bear trained in martial arts or a dozen female midgets?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-grizzly-bear-trained-in-martial-arts-or-a-dozen-female-midgets/375506>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 6, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-grizzly-bear-trained-in-martial-arts-or-a-dozen-female-midgets/375506 "2006-10-06T15:44:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-grizzly-bear-trained-in-martial-arts-or-a-dozen-female-midgets/375506/41 "2006-10-10T04:36:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Would the scalding cheese be a plus or a minus?

Neither. Scalding cheese would rapidly cool as it was sprayed about, which would firmly stick both the bear and the midgets to the ground… bear: Nil, Midgets: Nil, We the audience: -1.

> [@](#):
>
> What if the bear was ‘lactose-intolerant’? Would the incessant barfing be a hinderance, or would sprays of the acidic-spew melt the faces of the midgets…?

It is a well established scientific fact[sup]1[/sup] that lactose intolerant grizzlies do not hurl, but instead develop tremendously bad gas. Study the literature[sup]2[/sup].. Bear: 1, Midgets: 0.

[sup]1[/sup][sub]That I just now made up, 'specially for this post.[/sub]  
[sup]2[/sup][sub]If you can find any regarding bear flatulance…[/sub]

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