# Who would win a war between the Oompa-Loompas and the Munchkins? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 5, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829 "2007-01-05T16:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/61 "2007-01-06T03:06:16Z")
The Smurfs make an ambush attack while nobody’s looking, and then the Tribbles take over all. Either way, we’re doomed. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/62 "2007-01-06T04:09:17Z")
sniffle i love you guys, man ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/63 "2007-01-06T04:55:19Z")
the [Demonic Toys](http://imdb.com/title/tt0104083/) and [Subspecies](http://imdb.com/title/tt0103002/) would slaughter them all, Baby Oopsie would be making all sorts of off color, scatalogical and sexual jokes/puns while doing so, that’s one evil toy baby doll… heck, Chucky could take them all down singlehandedly… ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/64 "2007-01-06T09:28:25Z")
I stand by what I said in the previous thread on the subject.. > [@Seven in previous thread](#): > > Consider when something happened to one of the children in the chocolate factory, the Oompas were not phased one bit. They just rolled the blueberry girl off singing. The munchkins seemed to spend a great deal of time shivering in the bushes. Oompas are just natrually better prepared for the horrors an Oompa-Munchkin war would bring. > > Oompas also seem to be better at gizmos. The days of hand to hand little people wars are long gone, todays midget wars are done with remote controled drone aircraft and laser guided missiles. I just can’t see munchkins getting the hang of the techno age. > > The Oompas are residents of the UK, therefore would have the backing of the UN. Last I looked Oz wasn’t even a member of the UN. > > Plus, the Oompas would have a well funded arsonal due to Williy’s chocolate empire. I’m sure it wouldn’t take them long to invent the Everburning Gobstopper or FLBM’s (Fizzy Lifting Ballistic Missiles). Now that I think of it they could just point WonkaVision at Munchkinland and follow that up by walking around the area in really big shoes. > > Also, Oopmas are wired on sugar. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/65 "2007-01-06T13:15:00Z")
You just know this war would somehow involve kittens. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/66 "2007-01-06T15:21:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] You just know this war would somehow involve kittens. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Cry “Kerfuffle!” and let slip the kits of war! ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/67 "2007-01-06T18:56:55Z")
_Barûk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!_ ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/68 "2007-01-06T19:15:30Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] You just know this war would somehow involve kittens. 🙂 [/QUOTE] Like Hellkittens, from _Tuf Voyaging_ ? Yes, a swarm of cute kittens spitting acidic venom and eating both sides alive would make the fight more interesting, as well as ( heh ) shorter. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/69 "2007-01-06T21:09:50Z")
Where are people getting the idea that there were only a dozen or fewer Oompa-Loompas? We only saw a few at a time, but you don’t think the ones who manned (er…oompaed) the boat are the same ones in charge of arming the Wonkavision beam do you? That’s to say nothing of the ones who ran the Juicing Room or who manufactured Butter Gin. And which Munchkins are we talking about? The ones in the movie were veritable wusses, scared of their own shadow, and dependent on Glinda for her largely ineffectual protection. I seem to remember the book Munchkins were more militarized and self-sufficient, and it was they who held a full quarter of Oz, compared to the apparent half-acre occupied by the movie 'Kins. Plus, I don’t remember seeing even a single weapon in Munchkinland, not even a knife. The only thing they had going for them was pretty good camouflage. I mean, really–what makes you think the Munchkins were capable of waging _ **any** _ sort of military campaign? The Lollypop Guild? They may have been involved in smuggling illegal Winkie Ale and opium poppies, but I doubt they ever killed anyone directly. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/70 "2007-01-06T22:03:05Z")
[QUOTE=Alan Smithee] Plus, I don’t remember seeing even a single weapon in Munchkinland, not even a knife. The only thing they had going for them was pretty good camouflage. I mean, really–what makes you think the Munchkins were capable of waging _ **any** _ sort of military campaign? The Lollypop Guild? They may have been involved in smuggling illegal Winkie Ale and opium poppies, but I doubt they ever killed anyone directly. [/QUOTE] [extremely hoarse munchkin] The Lollipop Guild is a perfectly legitimate business association. These ugly rumors get started so easily. [/ehm] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/71 "2007-01-06T22:06:38Z")
I hope the Muchkins win. I hate those creepy judgemental Oompa-Loompas. ---
**Author:** ![Zachlee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Zachlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zachlee)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/72 "2007-01-07T05:23:27Z")
I would also point out that based on anecdotal evidence, the Munchkins are pretty fierce party animals. So all the Oompas woul dhave to do is attakc early in the day, when the 'Kins were still suffering their massive hangovers… Unless Leprechauns get involved. Those magical bastards are sure to side with the Munchkins. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/73 "2007-01-07T05:53:10Z")
[QUOTE=Alan Smithee] Plus, I don’t remember seeing even a single weapon in Munchkinland, not even a knife. [/QUOTE] In the movie, at least, there are uniformed Munchkin soldiers carrying rifles. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/74 "2007-01-07T06:13:15Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Those tough little Munchkins who sang “We represent the Lollipop League…” [/QUOTE] I think it was Lullaby League. There was, however, a Lollipop _Guild_ which consisted of tough little Munchkins. [Google Search](http://tinyurl.com/y39yrb) ---
**Author:** ![badkittypriestess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8baadc/32.png) [@badkittypriestess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badkittypriestess)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/75 "2007-01-07T06:15:09Z")
[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/g5bEF6Mebm8/hqdefault.jpg "Oompa Loompa") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5bEF6Mebm8) (heeeheeehaaa) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/76 "2007-01-07T06:30:30Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing] In the movie, at least, there are uniformed Munchkin soldiers carrying rifles. [/QUOTE] Huh, well whaddya know, you’re [right](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6DegtBB8_A)! [WARNING: Video link] I guess I might have to rethink this… ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/77 "2007-01-07T08:24:17Z")
[QUOTE=vibrotronica] The population argument is the most compelling. Oompa Loompas, while more physcially powerful, mentally tough, and armed with better technology, are the last survivors of a doomed race. The Munchkins, however, are belligerent and numerous. In any sustained conflict, Munchkin production would eventually overcome Oompa Loompa weapondry and resolve. I forsee the besiged Loompa survivors squatting in the ruins of the chocolate factory surrounded by a sea of Munchkin soldiers. [/QUOTE] I’d have to disagree with you there, pretty-britches. In order to have survived in an environment full of predators, one where a Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for lunch and think nothing of it, it’s clear that the Oompa Loompas had to be an r-selected species, prone to rapid reproduction/maturation and better suited to survive in tumultuous lands. The munchkins, on the other hand, are most definitely a k-selected species\*, producing fewer offspring but more capable of out competing r-selected species in a stable environment. It’s unlikely that the munchkins could find such a stable breeding ground while fully engaged in war, and so over the course of a generation the munchkin population would drop off dramatically. Nevertheless, I believe that the outcome of the war would depend on: 1. Who could form a strategic alliance with the flying monkeys. 2. Whether Glinda could persuade Mr. Wonka to betray his allegiance to the Oompa Loompas or vice versa. - refer to the lyrical exchange between the Mayor of Munchkin City in the very merry land of Oz and the barrister: MoMCitVMLoO: “Then this is a day of independence, for all the Munchkins and their descendants.” B: “If any!” ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/78 "2007-01-07T14:59:34Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] The Smurfs make an ambush attack while nobody’s looking, and then the Tribbles take over all. Either way, we’re doomed. [/QUOTE] Are you kidding? Both the Oompa-Loompas and the Munchkins can step on the Smurfs – who are, after all, about half as tall as the average toadstool. An attack by 43 quintillion Smurfs might affect the war, but I’ve never heard of so much as 43 individual Smurfs, let alone enough to field a useful army. I’ve misplaced my Dahl, so I can’t readily confirm that the entire Oompa-Loompa race works at the Wonka plant. If they do all work there, then they can’t send back for reinforcements, and the Munchkins will win any prolonged war on simple attrition. This presumes two highly iffy points: - Neither side figures out how to pull off the dirty tricks that make war come down to something more useful than simple attrition. - Willy Wonka doesn’t intervene – the war would screw up the Wonka company’s profitability by taking away much of his labor force. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/79 "2007-01-07T18:02:23Z")
> [@](#): > > heck, Chucky could take them all down singlehandedly… No, he’s in the [other thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=403026). ---
**Author:** ![Aunt\_Flow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed655f/32.png) [@Aunt\_Flow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aunt_Flow)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829/80 "2007-01-07T22:15:31Z")
Excuse me? What’s all this talk of rifles and ballistics? The war between the Oompas and the Munchkins would be a DANCE OFF! Yeah. And the Munchkins would get SERVED. That’s right. Served. Served by the rocking choreography of the Oompa-Loompas. And I’m talking the recent ones, not the scary looking colored ones (although I’m sure they’d win in a dance off but it wouldn’t be as much as a slaughter). The Oompa-Loompas of Burton’s film were ROCKING with their synchronization and costume designers. The stupid Munchkins could barely handle a two-step. Yeah…served by the Oompa-Loompas. A glorious day for all of Oompa-Loompa-Land. The celebration would be immense. Women would be on the sidelines flashing the victors with their lucious little Oompa-Breasts and the Munchkins would return to Oz in SHAME. Shame for being SERVED and spend the rest of their days lamenting what could have been as the entire race falls into a deep depression. Childbirth rates would drop, suicides would increase and soon all that would be left would be the pathetic shell that was once the Munchkin race. Drowned in their own despair… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-a-war-between-the-oompa-loompas-and-the-munchkins/386829.md?page=5)