# Who would win in a fight...? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2002, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528 "2002-08-18T23:53:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/21 "2002-08-27T04:01:26Z")
Jack Palance Vs. Jack LeLane Billy the Kid Vs. Doc Holliday (Real Life? Young Guns Billy Vs. Tombstone Doc?) Cecil Adams Vs. Ben Stein George Bush Vs. Vladamir Putin Britney Spears Vs. Christina Aguilera Abby Hoffman Vs. Richard Nixon Homer Simpson Vs. Maxwell Smart (yea this one has already been mentioned but it needs more attention :D) Spain Vs. France The guy from Winger Vs. A wet paper bag ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/22 "2002-12-12T02:12:15Z")
Ok I just thought of one and I’ve just **got** to know the answer: Jack Chick vs. Fred Phelps C’mon people, who wins? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/23 "2002-12-12T03:26:13Z")
If it’s a fight to the death, _we_ do!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/24 "2002-12-12T03:43:31Z")
Gilbert Gottfried vs. Carrot Top ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_The\_Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/25 "2002-12-12T03:48:56Z")
A match I’ve always wondered about: P-38 vs P-51 Did the two ever tangle in a mock dogfight? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/26 "2002-12-12T06:21:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Gilbert Gottfried vs. Carrot Top \*\* Whoa, that’s a good one. I actually _like_ these two widely hated comedians so it’s hard for me to choose. I guess I’d go with Carrot Top in round two, throwing Gilbert’s back out with one of his really heavy props. Gilbert would want it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/27 "2002-12-12T07:31:47Z")
Mary Ann vs. Ginger C’mon! You know you’ve wanted to see this one! Imagine a knock-down, drag-out cat fight between these two women! Better yet, Jane Jetson vs. Wilma Flintstone! And the ultimate in psycho-wrestling… Laura Petri vs Mary Richards! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/28 "2002-12-12T10:38:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freyr \* > \*\*Mary Ann vs. Ginger \*\* Oh that’s easy. Ginger lands the first blow and managers to draw blood with her movie star finger nails but is distracted when one of them breaks and Mary Ann lands a haymaker. KO. > [@](#): > > Jane Jetson vs. Wilma Flintstone! The cavewoman vs. the spaceage homemaker? No challenge there. Wilma cooks Jane’s ribs and throws them on top of the car to take home to Fred when she’s done. > [@](#): > > Laura Petri vs Mary Richards! Oh that’s way too easy! It’d obviously be…wait, I have no idea who either of those women are 🙂 (upon googling I see that they are both characters played by mary tyler moore but I know nothing else of them so I don’t know who would win.) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/29 "2002-12-12T14:20:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\*Britney Spears Vs. Christina Aguilera > \*\* [It’s been done on the WWWF Grudge Match.](http://www.grudge-match.com/History/popstars.shtml) I’d LOVE to see many of these match-ups on the Grudge Match. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/30 "2002-12-12T16:08:10Z")
**beavis** once decided that the only guy in rock and roll who’s ass he could kick was **rob halford** from judas priest… Hugh jackman? no friggin way, did you see him wearing all that frilly crap in that movie with meg ryan? Sydney Bristow vs Dark angel or Buffy (3 way cage match maybe?) Gandalf over Obi wan, Gandalf didn’t die when he fell into the fiery depths of khazad dum, but the emperor died falling down some air shaft. So, we have a wizard over jedi precident at least. Darth Maul over Batman (depending on which Batman, maybe) But anybody who has a veritable foe in “the cable guy,” well… Christina over brittney, cause Christina is a bit more ghetto, although brittney has boobie power. ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/31 "2002-12-12T16:37:33Z")
Morgoth vs Galactus ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/32 "2002-12-12T17:45:44Z")
\*\*Cisco wrote: The cavewoman vs. the spaceage homemaker? No challenge there. Wilma cooks Jane’s ribs and throws them on top of the car to take home to Fred when she’s done.\*\* Naw, you got it all wrong. Wilma lands a couple good blows with a wooden club, but as Jane staggers back, she grabs her remote control and put Rosie the Robot into **BATTLE MODE** and mops the floor with the Stone Age red-head! \*\*Oh that’s way too easy! It’d obviously be…wait, I have no idea who either of those women are \*\* Actually, I see it coming to a draw, with both women whining: LP: “Oh, Robbbb!” MR: “Oh, Mr. Grant!!!” How about THIS match: We’ve consider what Jeanie the Jinn would do against Samatha the witch, but what about: Colonel Anthony Nelson, USAF takes on Darin Stevens, junior partner at the advertising firm of McMann & Tate. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/33 "2002-12-12T18:03:06Z")
Street Hawk Vs Kit Blue Thunder Vs Airwolf The A-Team Vs McGuyver Letterman Vs Jay Lada Vs Skoda Salt Vs Pepper Bubbles Vs Cheetah JA//s 3D Vs Pirhanna(sp) ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/34 "2002-12-12T19:22:02Z")
Spritle vs. Chim-Chim? ---
**Author:** ![Philosophocles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Philosophocles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philosophocles)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/35 "2002-12-13T00:18:55Z")
The Wonder Twins and Gleek vs. Wendy, Marvin, and Wonderdog Jim Jones vs. David Koresh ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/36 "2002-12-13T01:32:49Z")
Zorro vs Robin Hood? Westley vs Madmartigan? Jack Ryan vs James Bond? Willy Wonka vs Mary Poppins? Benji vs Lassie vs Sandy vs Rin Tin Tin? ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/37 "2002-12-13T02:03:21Z")
Yuuzhan Vong vs. the Borg ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/38 "2002-12-13T02:32:37Z")
Of course, there is one definative way to settle this: GOOGLEFIGHT!!! 1. Arnold 2. Hugh Jackman 3. Great White 4. Bon Jovi 5. Prince 6. Genghis Khan 7. Lincoln(in a landslide) 8. Doomsday(I have a feeling this one was skewed by some non-comic results) 9. Jesus(wins by over 15 million points) 10. Irwin 11. Bill Gates 12. Polar Bear 13. Homer Simpson ---
**Author:** ![SmileyDeath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SmileyDeath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmileyDeath)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/39 "2002-12-13T02:36:01Z")
I would have tosay I’d kick all oh their asses. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528/40 "2002-12-17T03:35:34Z")
Wesley Crusher (boy genius of ST:TNG) vs. William Robinson (boy genius of LiS) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-in-a-fight/124528.md?page=1)