# Who would win: James Bond vs Batman **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 26, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855 "2002-11-26T06:59:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/21 "2002-11-27T04:25:52Z")
All these “Batman wins” scenarios generously assume we’re playing under the relatively more idiotic DC Comics rules where villians can’t hit the broad side of a barn, and not the slightly less idiotic Ian Fleming rules where Bond is a deadeyed crack shot not given to long winded D.C. style speechs before he pops a cap in someone’s ass. In anything approaching a slightly more “real” context Bond shoots Batman in the head from 25 feet away and game over. Bats oozes his brains all over the sidewalk. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/22 "2002-11-27T04:38:11Z")
Actually, I think the idea was that Bats sneaks up on Bond and takes him out. It all depends on the situation… ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/23 "2002-11-27T04:52:38Z")
Wasn’t this exact same question asked a few months back? I’ll check. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/24 "2002-11-27T05:38:28Z")
Catwoman or even Holly Quinn can beat James Bond. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/25 "2002-11-27T06:31:08Z")
I guess the one working for Colonel Ticonderoga has to lose. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/26 "2002-11-27T11:31:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stinkpalm \* > \*\*Wasn’t this exact same question asked a few months back? I’ll check. \*\* Yep, by **ME!** 😃 Check the sixth entry in this thread. My thread, unfortunately, is lost forever. Too bad, it’s one of my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/27 "2002-11-27T12:11:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enola Straight \* > \*\*Both have incredible tools. > If both had full access to all their respective goodies, which one would win? \*\* :eek: Didn’t Philip Jose Farmer write a short story about this? ---
**Author:** ![Zoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/6de8d8/32.png) [@Zoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoff)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/28 "2002-11-27T15:47:53Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by SPOOFE_ > Batman. Bond wins a lot through sheer luck, and he routinely gets snuck up on by the bad guys. It’s much, much harder to trap Batsy. But Bond routinely puts himself in positions where he is surrounded by bad guys. It’s his job to infiltrate and he’s often in ambiguous situations where it’s difficult to tell whether he should blow his cover and start wailing on some guy or if he should try to keep his cool and his cover. Bond is trained in a wide assortment of weapons. He could cap Batman from 1200 yards. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/29 "2002-11-27T16:14:26Z")
I say Bond. He fights to win, i.e., to kill, while Batman usually just knocks out his enemies. Bond would put a bullet right between Batman’s eyes. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/30 "2002-11-27T16:36:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by capacitor \* > \*\*Catwoman or even Holly Quinn can beat James Bond. \*\* Just FYI, it’s Harley Quinn, not Holly. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/31 "2002-11-27T16:57:28Z")
I’ll put a fiver on Bond. Batman is a great hand-to-hand fighter, but James is far more ruthless. Also, Bats is not bullet-proof. However, Shang Chi could kick both their asses up between their shoulderblades. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/32 "2002-11-27T17:13:07Z")
A very rare, very spookily powerful artifact is located in some dark, mysterious corner of the world. The location can only be learned by finding various plot devices strewn about the planet in Places of Appropriate Atmosphere. There are plenty of Big Bad Clichés and Tried and True Formulas along the way, guarding paths and exits. Because of a Contrived Reason, the artifact must be placed in the Tower of London, Stately Wayne Manor, or the Vast Government Warehouse. Three men begin their search at the same time – Batman, Bond and Jones. Who gets it? ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/33 "2002-11-27T20:50:12Z")
“Nobody does it beeeetttteeeerrr…” Bond wins, James Bond. Read the books. Bond does not quit and, I might add, never had his back broken by a steroid freak. ---
**Author:** ![guitarmax\_99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@guitarmax\_99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guitarmax_99)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/34 "2002-11-27T22:29:46Z")
If neither has the element of surprise, then my money is on Batman. His hand to hand combat skills combined with his array of toys are just too much for James Bond to match. That being said, there are other more important things to consider than the fighting skills of these two heroes! For instance, sex appeal hasn’t been mentioned once in this thread. I mean, if Bond and Bruce Wayne (Batman’s secret identity!) were to put the moves on the same girl at a party, nine times out of ten Bond gets the babe. And what about gambling ability? I mean, if Bond and Batman are sitting at the same poker table, Bond would clean Batman out! Who would dispute this! Lastly, lets talk about taste in clothing. I mean, Bond clearly knows how to pick a taylor. Meanwhile, Batman probably made that suit he wears HIMSELF! Yeah, it’s very well designed for the dark alley, but I’m afraid it just wouldn’t work at a dinner party. Sure Batman would kick JB’s butt in a fight, but Bond has it all over the bat in when it comes to style points. ---
**Author:** ![kplmonkeypants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/d07c76/32.png) [@kplmonkeypants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kplmonkeypants)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/35 "2002-11-27T22:42:39Z")
i hate to say this but batman would beat james bond. “chics dig the car” ---
**Author:** ![Stentor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Stentor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stentor)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/36 "2002-11-27T23:03:22Z")
Batman. Definitely Batman, mainly because he’s slightly crazier than Bond. Also, IIRC the cape and cowl are bulletproof. BTW, didn’t Lucas create Indiana Jones because he wanted someone cooler than Bond? ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/37 "2002-11-27T23:04:52Z")
Something to ponder: isn’t Batman’s suit made out of Kelvar? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/38 "2002-11-27T23:59:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stentor \* > \*\*BTW, didn’t Lucas create Indiana Jones because he wanted someone cooler than Bond? \*\* I thought that John Shaft had already claimed that moniker. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/39 "2002-11-28T00:11:13Z")
Bond. His villains tend to have a lower recidivism rate; I don’t think he would’ve needed a second shot at the Joker, whereas Batman has tangled with him literally hundreds of times. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855/40 "2002-11-28T00:21:25Z")
Who cares? Bond got the girl. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-win-james-bond-vs-batman/138855.md?page=3)