# Who would you give an immortality pill to? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976 "2013-07-19T20:35:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/1 "2013-07-19T20:35:41Z")
So, my immortality pill has been in the works and is nearing completion - it turns humans into LOTR elves, they will not age. You can still die a violent death, but not of diseases and age. Naturally I’ve given them to you and your family, but only three remain. The unobtainium that is a core ingredient is now tapped out. Other than your close friends and family who I covered (because I’m such a charming fella), which others alive today would you give the three pills to? Scientists, artists, leaders of men? Or do you flush them all down the nearest toilet? ---
**Author:** ![Batistuta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58956e/32.png) [@Batistuta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batistuta)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/2 "2013-07-19T20:39:41Z")
This would be a good moment to give that pill to Nelson Mandela. One of those persons who have undoubtedly made this planet a better place. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/3 "2013-07-19T20:43:05Z")
Wait… ALL of my family and friends? Annoying relatives and slacker idiots included? Where’s the next suicide chamber? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/4 "2013-07-19T20:46:37Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Wait… ALL of my family and friends? Annoying relatives and slacker idiots included? Where’s the next suicide chamber? Heh, enough to cover you, your other half, childlings and anyone else you feel close enough to and would ‘automatically’ want to have an immunity to all diseases and the ravages of age. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/5 "2013-07-19T21:00:05Z")
Oh, I think I’d be inclined to put them in a safe deposit box and hope that I’d grow wise enough over my now-indefinite years to make appropriate determinations. OK, so maybe I’d use _one_ of them to bribe someone ridiculously wealthy, first. Just so I could set myself up financially for all these new years I’ve acquired. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/6 "2013-07-19T21:09:07Z")
Fine, let’s see… Terry Pratchett, to start with. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/7 "2013-07-19T21:40:56Z")
Kate Bush. So she would be able to make a couple more albums. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/8 "2013-07-19T22:30:55Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Fine, let’s see… Terry Pratchett, to start with. This reminds me. George R.R. Martin would get my consideration. Forever just _might_ be enough time to ensure that the Song of Ice and Fire series is completed. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/9 "2013-07-19T22:50:20Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > This reminds me. George R.R. Martin would get my consideration. Forever just _might_ be enough time to ensure that the Song of Ice and Fire series is completed. The fact that his fans can still threaten him with a violent death should keep him motivated. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/10 "2013-07-19T22:59:08Z")
Does “Close friends and family” include our dogs? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/11 "2013-07-19T23:13:17Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > Does “Close friends and family” include our dogs? I’m sure I can rustle up a canine version, but good luck trying to con 'em into swallowing a pill. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/12 "2013-07-19T23:28:08Z")
Barnes and Barnes and Harlan Ellison. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/13 "2013-07-19T23:35:31Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > This would be a good moment to give that pill to Nelson Mandela. One of those persons who have undoubtedly made this planet a better place. Would he still be stuck in the decrepit body of a 95 year old man? 'Cause even if he cant get sick or age from this point on immorality under those circumstances would suck pretty bad. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/14 "2013-07-19T23:45:35Z")
I was going to say have a series of well publicized lotteries for the rest. Assuming you don’t mind the immortality thing becoming public. Then I’d (we’d) be immortal AND rich. > [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Fine, let’s see… Terry Pratchett, to start with. OK. You got me with that one. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/15 "2013-07-19T23:49:09Z")
> [@Batistuta](#): > > This would be a good moment to give that pill to Nelson Mandela. One of those persons who have undoubtedly made this planet a better place. Does he have to stay old forever? I bet Mandela aches every minute of every day. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/16 "2013-07-20T01:00:26Z")
Nobody. I _paid attention_ to those old “Twilight Zone” episodes. Immortality is not a blessing, it is a curse. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/17 "2013-07-20T04:34:09Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > I’m sure I can rustle up a canine version, but good luck trying to con 'em into swallowing a pill. That’s easy with our dogs. Just wrap the pill in something tasty. Almost any kind of people food will do. Cheese and pizza crusts are big favorites. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/18 "2013-07-20T05:35:14Z")
Has it occurred to anyone that most/all (legendary) persons with immortality are considered to be cursed by it, not blessed by it? Only gods get to be immortal and happy - the Wandering Jew, Dracula, et al. aren’t thrilled watching their loved ones die - forever and ever and ever. I would kill the person who made me immortal - or force him to kill me. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/19 "2013-07-20T07:04:22Z")
Hmmm… the more people who get immortality pills, the more people I will, eventually, have to fight to the death, preferably theirs. Nobody, I flush them down the toilet. Certainly no members of my family… have you _met_ my family?! One or two close personal friends, maybe, but I’d give them half a pill each. Just… for now. Maybe… maybe… Neil DeGrasse Tyson. I’d hate to kill him, but fortunately he seems like a nice enough guy that we could get along together, at least for long enough for us to each have our own Galaxy. Then I’d kill him. Sorry, Neil, nothing personal ya know! ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-give-an-immortality-pill-to/663976/20 "2013-07-20T11:03:38Z")
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