# Who Would You Kill, Brad Pitt or Bill O'Reilly **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881 "2010-11-08T06:38:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/1 "2010-11-08T06:38:15Z")
Third time’s the charm. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/2 "2010-11-08T06:44:41Z")
This is an easy one. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/3 "2010-11-08T06:47:02Z")
^^ ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/4 "2010-11-08T06:57:18Z")
**Mysterious Voice:** “Here is your choice mortal. First, you may kill the man known as Bill O’Reilly-” _ **\** _ **Mysterious Voice:** “…can’t you at least _wait_ long enough for me to set up my diabolical moral dilemma?!” ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/5 "2010-11-08T06:58:22Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > **Mysterious Voice:** “Here is your choice mortal. First, you may kill the man known as Bill O’Reilly-” > > _ **\** _ > > **Mysterious Voice:** “…can’t you at least _wait_ long enough for me to set up my diabolical moral dilemma?!” And the other choice turned out to be Kim Jong-Il. ;)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/6 "2010-11-08T06:59:39Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > And the other choice turned out to be Kim Jong-Il. ;)😃 _\_ ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/7 "2010-11-08T06:59:44Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > And the other choice turned out to be Kim Jong-Il. ;)😃 Bil O’Reilly is worse for America than KJI. Besides KJI is going to be dead soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/8 "2010-11-08T07:10:37Z")
(to borrow a joke from I forget where) You’re in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong-Il, and Bill O’Reilly, and you’ve got a pistol with two bullets in it. What would you do? I’d shoot Bill O’Reilly. Twice. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/9 "2010-11-08T19:18:57Z")
Neither. When I have my evil hat on, I would decline to kill them because killing them serves no purpose. When I don’t have my evil hat on, neither of them has done anything to harm me, though I admit to finding O’Reilly obnoxious and thinking that Pitt has odd taste in women. > [@Tangent](#): > > (to borrow a joke from I forget where) > > You’re in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong-Il, and Bill O’Reilly, and you’ve got a pistol with two bullets in it. What would you do? > > I’d shoot Bill O’Reilly. Twice. Whom has O’Reilly murdered? ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/10 "2010-11-08T20:28:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Whom has O’Reilly murdered? Well, he hasn’t denied helping Glen Beck hide a body. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/11 "2010-11-08T21:55:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Whom has O’Reilly murdered? Me. I am posting from a trash bag in the trunk of his car. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/12 "2010-11-08T22:01:21Z")
My only question is whether the OP wants to kill Brad Pitt because he’s a left leaning celebrity or because he divorced Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, thus destroying the sanctity of the nuclear family. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/13 "2010-11-08T22:02:40Z")
**Curtis** , what is with you and all these horrible threads? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/14 "2010-11-08T23:38:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Neither. > > When I have my evil hat on, I would decline to kill them because killing them serves no purpose. Entertainment is a purpose! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/15 "2010-11-09T00:04:24Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Entertainment is a purpose! Only when I’m wearing the evil hat. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/16 "2010-11-09T00:06:51Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > My only question is whether the OP wants to kill Brad Pitt because he’s a left leaning celebrity or because he divorced Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie, thus destroying the sanctity of the nuclear family. Pitt and Aniston weren’t a nuclear family: those require kids in the mix. Aniston’s comelier than Jolie, though. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/17 "2010-11-09T00:14:58Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Pitt and Aniston weren’t a nuclear family: those require kids in the mix. > > Aniston’s comelier than Jolie, though. So then it’s okay to kill Brad Pitt because by being married without kids, he wasn’t doing enough for family values? Or is it that he refused to sign **Qin Shi Huangdi** ’s petition to make the date of the Protestant Reformation into a national U.S. holiday? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/18 "2010-11-09T00:16:01Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > So then it’s okay to kill Brad Pitt because by being married without kids, he wasn’t doing enough for family values? Or is it that he refused to sign **Qin Shi Huangdi** ’s petition to make the date of the Protestant Reformation into a national U.S. holiday? I said I wouldn’t kill either Pitt nor O’Reilly. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/19 "2010-11-09T00:16:45Z")
I’m not sure. I really liked “Fight Club.” Which one of them was in that? ---
**Author:** ![Laudenum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Laudenum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laudenum)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881/20 "2010-11-09T00:17:35Z")
Why Brad Pitt? He just seems generally harmless. Not the O’Reilly deserves to die either. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-brad-pitt-or-bill-oreilly/559881.md?page=2)