# Who would you kill, Tim Geithner or a newborn baby? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767 "2010-11-07T04:49:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/21 "2010-11-08T05:41:33Z")
Geithner. Because, if you ask him ‘shall I kill you or the baby?’ and he’s a good man, he’d prefer for you to kill the baby. If he’s a bad man, then it’s better to kill the baby anyway. I know some of you would disagree about that, but, come on, if a man was sitting there with a baby next to him and chose to let that baby die instead of him, he’s not going to be the sort of person you’d want to share a room with. You’d be next! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/22 "2010-11-08T05:53:29Z")
I would hold a life auction between Geithner and the parents. Who pays me most lives. That’s a free market solution that patriotic Americans should support. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/23 "2010-11-08T06:28:15Z")
I have nothing against anyone enough to kill them (except OBL, someb crime bosses, and tinpot dictators) but I’d tell Athena to kill Timothy Geithner simply because he has already lived as others have said a fulfilling life rising to the heights of power and influence while this baby has been born into a wonderful setting (better than 99% of humanity) and will presumably enter a good professional career in the future (unless he goes hippy or some moronical path lke that) and possibly be Treasruy Secretary himself! ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/24 "2010-11-08T06:35:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I picked the baby. > > No reason. I read this as " I pickled the baby’ but that works for me too! The sprog will be a net consumer for decades. The other dude is probably providing stuff. Breadwinners win! ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/25 "2010-11-08T07:40:46Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I pickled the baby. Fixed it for you. ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/26 "2010-11-08T08:06:29Z")
Gotta go with the baby here. If I kill the U.S. Secretary of Treasury I’m pretty much guaranteed to be caught. There’s going to be a huge manhunt, media circus, the whole package. Man probably has bodyguards too. With some random baby I have a reasonable chance to get away with it, if I play my cards right and catch a break. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/27 "2010-11-08T15:26:04Z")
I pick Timmy, especially if I have to do the deed myself rather than just choose which one she is going to off with her alien technology that primitive screwheads interpret as divine powers. He’s a man of my own age. Who knows? He might defeat me. Then he gets to live and I get to die in battle. Killing a helpless infant carries no glory and I’d be scheming on ramming a rhodium-plated titanium bodkin through the thorax of the sheet-wearing space faker who tried to coerce me into doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/28 "2010-11-08T15:51:16Z")
Jeez, you have to do battle? I was thinking of shooting from a safe distance. If that’s the case, I’ll pick the baby. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/29 "2010-11-08T16:10:48Z")
While it sounds terrible to say, the baby most likely won’t amount to much. Geithner, whether you like him or not, has the potential to help solve many of our economic problems. From a utilitarian perspective, we must keep Timmy alive! Of course, I’d choose the opposite if the baby is any doper’s monkeysphere, or in their monkeysphere’s monkeyspheres. > **[What is the Monkeysphere?](https://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html)** > > "One death is a tragedy. One million deaths is a statistic." > \-Kevin Federline > What do monkeys have to do with war, oppression, crime, racism and even e-mail spam? You'll see that all of the random ass-headed cruelty of the world will suddenly make... ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/30 "2010-11-08T16:45:29Z")
The twist is that the baby is also named Tim Geithner, so if you choose that option they both die. And if you choose the baby option Athena goes back in time and kills the 49-y-o TG as a newborn. Athena is a douche. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/31 "2010-11-08T16:53:33Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m going to need you to take back the libel of my patron. > > ODIN would do that. If Athena felt it needful to kill a newborn, she would do it herself. Which she wouldn’t, on account of not being Yahweh, Zeus, or Odin. Athena totally wouldn’t mess with that kind of shit. Eris, maybe. I’m on board with Odin, Zeus, and Yahweh, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/32 "2010-11-08T17:44:48Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Athena totally wouldn’t mess with that kind of shit. Eris, maybe. I can imagine the great Pallas Athena deciding, regretfully, that a perilous situation could only be resolved by slaying an infant. I’m just saying that She wouldn’t make someone else do it. Unlike that fellow who is mistakenly thought to be her father she has integrity; if dirty business has to be done, She’ll do it Her Ownself. Odin, of course, has his own sort of integrity; he’s unique among the evil sky-kings in that he admits that he’s evil. ETA: I am perfectly aware that I contracted my previous post in the first paragraph of this one. I’ll admit when I’m wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/33 "2010-11-08T19:13:15Z")
I picked the baby because it is probably more tender and juicy. MMMMmmmmm veal. What? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/34 "2010-11-08T19:15:14Z")
For those of you that chose Tim, what if the baby was trapped in a car and on fire? Would you change your answer then? ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/35 "2010-11-08T19:35:05Z")
Geithner is still working for Goldman. He should be fired , then killed . ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/36 "2010-11-08T19:38:32Z")
If you kill him, it won’t be necessary to fire him. Think Efficiency, man! ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/37 "2010-11-08T20:14:22Z")
Just like that old viking standard “Pillage _then_ burn!” ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/38 "2010-11-08T20:41:13Z")
I think I would get in a lot more trouble for killing the Treasury Secretary than I would some random baby. He’d also put up a better fight, and the meat would be stringier. ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/39 "2010-11-08T20:52:45Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Gotta go with the baby here. If I kill the U.S. Secretary of Treasury I’m pretty much guaranteed to be caught. There’s going to be a huge manhunt, media circus, the whole package. Man probably has bodyguards too. With some random baby I have a reasonable chance to get away with it, if I play my cards right and catch a break. Wait. Am \*I \*killing the person? based on the OP I thought it was that I _chose_ who Athena killed. Either way, Tim had a good run. ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767/40 "2010-11-08T23:29:31Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > Wait. Am \*I \*killing the person? based on the OP I thought it was that I _chose_ who Athena killed. To clear up confusion, this was how I intended it. Otherwise, there would be no need for Athena to be involved. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-kill-tim-geithner-or-a-newborn-baby/559767.md?page=3)