# Who would you save? Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272 "2012-12-17T03:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/21 "2012-12-17T06:26:55Z")
Tough call. I’ll go with Anne. Those huge eyes are quite remarkable. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/22 "2012-12-17T06:37:58Z")
Larger eyes should, in theory, make her less dense and float easier too! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/23 "2012-12-17T07:36:47Z")
I don’t think I have sufficient data to make a choice. Are there any photos of Natalie Portman getting out of a car? ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/24 "2012-12-17T08:05:52Z")
To tip the scales: [Anne Hathaway](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3-5e0OOLKQ) ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/25 "2012-12-17T09:12:31Z")
Natalie all the way, for me. Frankly, I have never thought Ms Hathaway to be that much of a looker, not by Hollywood standards, anyway. (And Shakespeare left her at home, and went off to write plays in London, which ought to tell you something.) > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’d save Anne Hathaway because it would be more difficult to train Natalie Portman to carry me into battle. 😕 Her name is _Portman_, you know. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/26 "2012-12-17T10:26:38Z")
Hard to say… Natalie Portman says “Hold me down and FUCK the SHIT out of me!” Anne Hathaway says “I’m gonna hold you down and FUCK the SHIT out of you!” Both are good. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/27 "2012-12-17T10:50:10Z")
Clearly we save whoever has the best PR agent. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/28 "2012-12-17T10:58:33Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > 😕 Her name is _Portman_, you know. It’s Herhlag actually. And, yup Natalie all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/29 "2012-12-17T14:32:44Z")
I prefer Anne over Natalie, but if I was going to be completely logical about it… I’d save Natalie Portman. Anne Hathaway has enough natural flotation that she really doesn’t need to worry about drowning. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/30 "2012-12-17T15:53:53Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Would it matter if one of them wasn’t wearing panties? It wouldn’t matter. But I’d check anyway. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/31 "2012-12-17T16:32:46Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’d save Anne Hathaway because it would be more difficult to train Natalie Portman to carry me into battle. [You mean this Natalie Portman?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daUOo908yUA) ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/32 "2012-12-17T20:05:50Z")
You guys all realize I said “carry me into battle” not “do battle,” right? This is important. ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/33 "2012-12-17T20:26:37Z")
Natalie Portman, not close. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/34 "2012-12-17T20:35:00Z")
Anne Hathaway, because for reasons best left unexplained by me, her recent wardrobe malfunction doubled the number of hits on my blog for a few days. So I kind of owe her. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/35 "2012-12-17T20:41:37Z")
Google says that Portman is about 5’3", and I expect she weights less than 120 pounds. Hathaway is 5’8 or so and probably weighs a good deal more (which is not to call her fat, just bigger). So Portman; I’m more confident that I could successfully rescue her. If I were to try at all, of course. She’s not my daughter, wife, friend, sister, or niece, and it’s not like anybody expects me to be on the side of truth & justice. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/36 "2012-12-18T06:39:23Z")
Oooh, tough one. like them both. But giving this to Hathaway, the prequels are just too much to forgive. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/37 "2012-12-18T06:50:38Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Oooh, tough one. like them both. But giving this to Hathaway, the prequels are just too much to forgive. Ooh, I never considered the Star Wars factor. But other than your punishment concept, I can’t figure any other way to spin this into another hypothetical. We can’t put the drowning incident a few years back and ask whether knowing that Natalie drowning would kill the prequels would make a difference. After all, it was simply beyond human comprehension at the time that they could be so bad. People might have made the dreadful decision to save her in order to save the prequels. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/38 "2012-12-18T10:37:14Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Oooh, tough one. like them both. But giving this to Hathaway, the prequels are just too much to forgive. Oye, she is one of the main reasons to watch the prequels; preferably with volume on mute. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/39 "2012-12-18T10:51:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Ooh, I never considered the Star Wars factor. > > But other than your punishment concept, I can’t figure any other way to spin this into another hypothetical. We can’t put the drowning incident a few years back and ask whether knowing that Natalie drowning would kill the prequels would make a difference. After all, it was simply beyond human comprehension at the time that they could be so bad. People might have made the dreadful decision to save her in order to save the prequels. If you saved Natalie Portman, you could exploit her feelings of gratitude to worm your way into her good graces. Being in her social circle may present the opportunity to get close enough to George Lucas to do him harm. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/40 "2012-12-18T14:53:18Z")
OTOH, worming my way into the good graces of Anne Hathaway might mean I could get close to Anne Hathaway. I find that a more attractive proposition. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272.md?page=3)