# Who would you save? Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272 "2012-12-17T03:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/41 "2012-12-18T15:16:44Z")
Natalie Portman, because in gratitude she’d collaborate on a paper with me so I’d end up with an Erdős number. I’d do so well in my Ted Talk explaining it (because she’d give me all sorts of tips on presentation, style, etc.) that I’d land a role in an upcoming feature film staring Kevin Bacon. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/42 "2012-12-18T15:48:27Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Natalie Portman, because in gratitude she’d collaborate on a paper with me so I’d end up with an Erdős number. I’d do so well in my Ted Talk explaining it (because she’d give me all sorts of tips on presentation, style, etc.) that I’d land a role in an upcoming feature film staring Kevin Bacon. Surely you already have a Bacon Number. Everyone does! ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/43 "2012-12-18T15:54:56Z")
Now look here, Anne Hathaway is [at least 456 years old](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Hathaway_%28Shakespeare%29), clearly one of the undead. Almost certainly she will survive without my help. In any case, I do not want to be responsible for such a being continuing to walk the Earth. Furthermore, it is very likely that she is chronically bad tempered, due to sleep problems suffered since her original husband’s death in 1616. I’ll take Natalie. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/44 "2012-12-18T17:17:47Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Oooh, tough one. like them both. But giving this to Hathaway, the prequels are just too much to forgive. That wasn’t her fault. Both Portman & Hayden what’s-his-name can act; they were just overwhelmed by the bad direction. Anyway, as I’m sure someone else has already commented, you can just put the movies in between action sequences and look at her. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/45 "2012-12-18T17:38:32Z")
Neither. Take photos. Sell them. Plastic surgery to make my wife look like Natalie. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/46 "2012-12-18T18:29:39Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Now look here, Anne Hathaway is [at least 456 years old](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Hathaway_%28Shakespeare%29), clearly one of the undead. Almost certainly she will survive without my help. In any case, I do not want to be responsible for such a being continuing to walk the Earth. > > Furthermore, it is very likely that she is chronically bad tempered, due to sleep problems suffered since her original husband’s death in 1616. > > I’ll take Natalie. If she’s undead, then this zombie thing is getting a lot of undeserved bad press. Plus, it means she can’y get pregnant anymore. Win win! ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/47 "2012-12-18T19:30:32Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Plus, it means she can’y get pregnant anymore. Scottish are we? It figures. It seems highly likely that it is [eldritch Scottish enchantments](http://allpoetry.com/poem/8449741-Witches_Chant__from_Macbeth_-by-William_Shakespeare) that are responsible for her undead condition. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/48 "2012-12-18T23:34:37Z")
Okay, it was already Anne Hathaway for me, but the steaming pile of awesome that is [this video](http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/314ad1c060/the-sad-off-with-samuel-l-jackson-and-anne-hathaway?playlist=featured_videos) should silence any doubters. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/49 "2012-12-19T01:01:00Z")
Anne needs to grow out her boys haircut. Natalie all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/50 "2012-12-19T01:03:01Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Anne needs to grow out her boys haircut. Natalie all the way. True, but she was required to cut her hair for her last movie, so she didn’t do it by choice. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272/51 "2012-12-19T01:32:33Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > True, but she was required to cut her hair for her last movie, so she didn’t do it by choice. She seems to be keeping it. Bad choice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/who-would-you-save-anne-hathaway-or-natalie-portman/644272.md?page=2)