# Whoa, Alec Baldwin. . . what's goin' on there? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 19, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850 "2007-04-19T21:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/121 "2007-04-23T18:33:53Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Considering his overall look (especially his face and eyes), Alec Baldwin calling anyone a “pig” is like watermelon calling cherries “red.” [/QUOTE] I thought watermelons were green. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/122 "2007-04-23T19:34:52Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] Well, who said that abusive parents are especially uncommon? All those things you’ve overheard would make me mentally question someone’s parenting skills. [/QUOTE] I wouldn’t call that abuse. I question about 90% of the parenting skills I see but it’s a whole different ball game when you are the parent. People are very different. I had friends when I was a kid and the whole family yelled and screamed. It didn’t seem to bother the kids one way or another. As much as they screamed, they were equally affectionate, hugging and kissing at a moments notice. My parents never really yelled. You knew when they said it they meant it. But they were also very reserved, remote people. I never doubted my fater loved me but I can’t remember him hugging me or kissing me. I really don’t think you can make judgements about anyone’s parenting skills based on a 30 second phone conversation. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/123 "2007-04-23T19:52:50Z")
I read today on Yahoo that Basinger’s attorney, Harvey Levin, admitted to releasing the tapes. [link](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070420/ap_en_ce/people_baldwin_basinger&printer=1) ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/124 "2007-04-23T20:23:47Z")
[QUOTE=PunditLisa] I read today on Yahoo that Basinger’s attorney, Harvey Levin, admitted to releasing the tapes. [link](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070420/ap_en_ce/people_baldwin_basinger&printer=1) [/QUOTE] I think you misread that article, **Lisa**. Harvey Levin is the guy who runs TMZ, not Kim Basinger’s attorney. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/125 "2007-04-23T20:41:37Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] I think you misread that article, **Lisa**. Harvey Levin is the guy who runs TMZ, not Kim Basinger’s attorney. [/QUOTE] You are so right, **Jodi**. That’s what I get for skimming. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/126 "2007-04-23T20:56:28Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] My dad has a notorious temper that flares up out of nowhere sometimes, and when it happens he can say really mean things, but despite all of that, he has never resorted to the kind of insults that Baldwin did. [/QUOTE] Then I don’t think your father’s temper is all that notorious. I don’t think I came from an abusive background but I cannot get how on Earth Baldwin’s calling his presumably bratty kid a “pig” is all that remarkable, much less over the top. Are all of you people saints who were raised by catatonics? Honestly, I think you are mostly coming off as hopelessly naive and inexperienced. I have been around truly abusive people and “pig,” for them, would be about the NICEST thing they’d call someone. This is a total tempest in a teapot. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/127 "2007-04-23T21:27:58Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] Then I don’t think your father’s temper is all that notorious. [/quote] The man (God love him) once slapped me in the face so hard that my nose started gushing blood…so excuse me if I don’t find this opinion of yours all that meaningful. > [@](#): > > I don’t think I came from an abusive background but I cannot get how on Earth Baldwin’s calling his presumably bratty kid a “pig” is all that remarkable, much less over the top. Well, I guess I am naive and inexperienced because I don’t see how calling your child a pig and a daughter-of-a-bitch and saying they don’t have the “brains or the decency of human being” is anyway justifiable. That is abusive language in my opinion. It doesn’t mean that he needs to lose custody, but I believe in calling a duck a motherfucking duck. When my dad slapped me that day, he was being abusive. I wouldn’t expect anyone to come running to his defense to say otherwise, including him. He’s a good dad, but he lost it that day. So did apparently Baldwin. All that said, I have no idea why we should even care about this. It has no business being in the media. This is the first time that I’ve even paid attention to this. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/128 "2007-04-23T21:59:48Z")
In addition to not being very smartAlec Baldwin is an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/129 "2007-04-23T22:44:25Z")
[QUOTE=acsenray] The man lost his temper with his misbehaving child. This is an utterly unremarkable event. The “pig” part is probably unadvisable, but well within the bounds of ordinary human behaviour. The idea that this event might be considered child abuse and reported to the authorities is downright shocking, far more shocking than Baldwin’s wig-out. [/QUOTE] This is not a discipline problem. He was angry about a breakdown in communication. She didn’t take his call, for whatever reason. He may have been right in assuming that she was avoiding him on purpose, manipulating him, being manipulated, whatever. But this is a very, very bad way to react. It’s not going to bring him anything except further estrangement from her. I’m sorry to say that she is not obligated to love or even like him much, and certainly not if he behaves like this. Comparisons to how parents react when their kids break rules, cause damage, won’t behave in public, are irrelevant. “Misbehaving” does not come into play when a child rejects (if she did) a non-custodial parent. I’m thinking more along the lines of “Waiting to Exhale,” when the bio-dad said, “If I don’t hear from him by noon tomorrow, I’m checking out. Literally and figuratively. When and if he wants to hear from me again, he’ll have to make the first move.” That’s how you handle this, not by screaming and yelling and calling your kid a pig. This is not a discipline problem. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/130 "2007-04-24T16:45:43Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] I don’t think I came from an abusive background but I cannot get how on Earth Baldwin’s calling his presumably bratty kid a “pig” is all that remarkable, much less over the top. Are all of you people saints who were raised by catatonics? Honestly, I think you are mostly coming off as hopelessly naive and inexperienced. I have been around truly abusive people and “pig,” for them, would be about the NICEST thing they’d call someone. [/QUOTE] Well, I never said Baldwin was an abusive parent. He might be a great dad usually who just lost his shit. I do say, however, that this is an emotionally abusive thing to say to a 11 year old, especially a girl. I’ve never said that one instance of bad parenting = a bad parent. Which of us wants to be judged as a parent, child, lover, spouse, or friend by our behavior on our worst day? But while this one message alone isn’t proof that he is a bad father, it sure as hell isn’t proof that he’s a _good_ father. And I _am_ inexperienced as a parent; I don’t have kids. But I do know myself pretty well, and I think I’m in a pretty good position to confidently tell you that while I may scream and yell at my kids, I will never directly insult them. It’s counterproductive, demeaning, and sets a bad example. My dad never did that to me, and I mean _never_. Feel free to consider him a saint on that basis; you wouldn’t be far wrong. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/131 "2007-04-24T17:12:47Z")
[QUOTE=Christopher] Yea, I agree with that. He’s got a bit of a God complex. [/QUOTE] A “God complex”? He _is_ God! ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/132 "2007-04-24T17:19:19Z")
Ask God how many shots of bourbon he had before he left that voice mail for his kid! sorry - i am constitutionally incapable of leaving movie quotes unanswered. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/133 "2007-04-24T17:23:16Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] Ask God how many shots of bourbon he had before he left that voice mail for his kid! sorry - i am constitutionally incapable of leaving movie quotes unanswered. 😃 [/QUOTE] Great _Malice_ quote! Boy I haven’t thought about that movie in ages. Good one! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/134 "2007-04-24T17:33:33Z")
\*\*Tuckerfan \*\* started it! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/135 "2007-04-24T18:18:56Z")
[QUOTE=Jodi] I do say, however, that this is an emotionally abusive thing to say to a 11 year old, especially a girl. [/QUOTE] I don’t think there’s enough information to draw that conclusion for a couple of reasons: (1) girls aren’t necessarily always more emotionally fragile than boys, and (2) 11-year-olds (especially these days) are not always entirely beyond all culpability. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/136 "2007-04-24T18:23:43Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] A “God complex”? He _is_ God! [/QUOTE] I got that also- funny funny!😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/137 "2007-04-24T18:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] I don’t think there’s enough information to draw that conclusion for a couple of reasons: (1) girls aren’t necessarily always more emotionally fragile than boys, and (2) 11-year-olds (especially these days) are not always entirely beyond all culpability. [/QUOTE] Early adolescence aged girls tend to develop issues with self-identity and self-esteem that are different from those experienced by boys of the same age. Is that true for every girl? No. But it’s true for a lot of them. It’s a tough age to be, if you’re a girl, and having your dad call you a pig would not be helpful. Moreover, there is no degree of “culpability” (fault or blame) that justifies an adult calling a child an insulting name. It doesn’t address the behavior; it doesn’t model good conflict handling skills; it’s personal, attacking, and a verbal slap from a person in power to a person who has much less power. It’s not “parenting,” it’s “losing your temper” – perhaps excusable but certainly not appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/138 "2007-04-24T21:48:44Z")
And the cricket chirping in the wilderness says, “Remember that this about his visitation/contact rights, not about her misbehavior.” I’m sure he was upset that Ireland apparently blew off the call that he’d fought for the right to make to her. But would it not have been more constructive to call his lawyer and say, “All I got was her voicemail! I think the bitch told her to put me on ignore – what do I do now?” Or his therapist (ha) to say the same thing with more expletives? But the tirade would not have been directed at the person he was talking to (hopefully, unless he goes off on his lawyer the same way), and both those people would have been bound to confidentiality. (Yeah, I know; but they would have had nothing to gain by releasing the recording.) “It’s not that bad…I’ve said worse to my kid…” Not in this context, I bet you didn’t. This is not how you hold your ground in a custody dispute. [Try this.](http://www.brendancalling.com/2006/11/28/stubborn/#comments) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/139 "2007-04-24T21:59:28Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] \*\*Tuckerfan \*\* started it! [/QUOTE] Did not! It was **Christopher**! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850/140 "2007-04-24T22:07:16Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] “It’s not that bad…I’ve said worse to my kid…” Not in this context, I bet you didn’t. This is not how you hold your ground in a custody dispute. [Try this.](http://www.brendancalling.com/2006/11/28/stubborn/#comments) [/QUOTE] Okay, the link won’t work, and it’s long anyway. Here’s the relevant bits: > [@](#): > > I spoke to Sam as much as always on the phone during September and October, but as any parent of a young child knows, it’s no substitute for face-to-face time, especially when your kid is too young to understand the whole concept of “talking on the telephone”… By the middle of October, when I was on my own, I was always at a low simmer. When I rode my bicycle to work, I held **imaginary arguments with my ex under my breath** , sometimes erupting loudly with “You fucking BITCH, I fucking hate what you’ve fucking done to me”, **before burying it all for the next eight hours at work.** > > \ > > I suppose I’m lucky. It could have turned into a really huge fight. But as I went on, things went off the rails, and the words began pouring out of my mouth like the rain from the clouds, which was beginning to get heavier. “I don’t think you really understand,” I began. “I don’t think you understand what it’s like to be in my shoes. > > “Look, I know it’s hard for you, and that you have him 24/7 and it’s exhausting. I try to understand that it’s hard for you too, but when you give him to me, that’s all I get of him. A measly week or so every other month. How would you like it if the tables were turned?” By this time, I began to get a lump in my throat, and my eyes welled up, as I steered the bike with one hand through the rain. My words were streaming together in between gulps of air. > > “And then you have the nerve, the nerve to say that he visits every month, because a couple of days from a two-week visit scheduled at the end of the month flow to the next, when you know that’s not what a monthly visit is. > > “You’ve made all the decisions so far, and I haven’t gotten anything, and you act like I should be grateful for my every other month and not to complain to you, but you’re the reason things are as they are! This is all the result of your decisions! > > “And you know how much I love him, you know how much it kills me because I tell you over and over. And you say I’m a potential kidnapper, because I get depressed when he leaves? You hold the reins to the whole fucking thing and I’m just fucking scared that anything I say is going to make you mad at me and you’re going to take him away forever and then what the fuck am I going to do?” > > By this time the rain was literally pouring out of the sky like water from a pail, thunder and lightning were crashing, and a fucking car drove by and splashed me with dirty puddle water. I was soaked to the skin as I blubbered helplessly by the side of the road on the 59th Street Bridge. “I don’t know what to do… I don’t… I.. Look, I gotta go. I can’t deal with this shit right now. I can’t even talk.” I hung up the phone and barreled into the night, a soaking pathetic wretch. > > Honestly, all this needs to be complete is some steel guitars and a fiddle. It’s that fucking pathetic. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whoa-alec-baldwin-whats-goin-on-there/400850.md?page=8)