# Who'd win in a fight between a giant rabid badger vs. a giant rabid shrimp? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889 "2003-05-08T13:25:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/1 "2003-05-08T13:25:53Z")
See the title. Also, the competitors are both 200 feet tall. And this is a stupid thread. I know that. But it’s good for a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/2 "2003-05-08T13:27:34Z")
Is the fight in the water or on land? ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/3 "2003-05-08T13:45:31Z")
If it’s in the water, the badger can breathe under there, and if in the land, the shrimp can breathe there. Just making sure this is an interesting fight… ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/4 "2003-05-08T13:49:10Z")
You’re the same guy that resurrected that 4 year old thread just to say, “this is a stupid thread”, aren’t you? Hmmmmm. pan ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/5 "2003-05-08T14:02:13Z")
No, I said, what’s hi Opal? And I forgot to mention that the shrimp’s a mantis shrimp. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/6 "2003-05-08T14:05:29Z")
It depends…which one shoots lasers? ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/7 "2003-05-08T14:15:23Z")
I don’t think shrimp can get rabies. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/8 "2003-05-08T14:17:31Z")
Both! ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/9 "2003-05-08T14:26:13Z")
I suggest the following factors will come into play. Badger: Pros: Nasty claws. Tough and loose hide is hard to get teeth/claws into. Sharp teeth. Strong forearms. Capable of standing on forelegs and rubbing backside against fences (I’m not sure how useful this is, but it must be good for something). Powerful scent glands. May carry TB or other germs. Can swim. Cons: Not known for intelligence (although is a member of the weasel family). Difficulty crossing roads. Can’t breathe underwater. Shrimp: Pros: Tough carapace. Two pairs of claws (can be very large but the size depends on species). Muscular tail. Mobile eyes. Indigestible feet, etc, may discourage predators. Better swimmer than badger. Cons: Rudimentary nervous system. Not susceptible to rabies. Can’t breathe on land. More appetising. Lots of dangly bits to tweak. I think my money’s on the badger. ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/10 "2003-05-08T14:29:23Z")
Well, the shrimp’s a mantis shrimp, so it evens the odds a bit… And the shrimp has the power to breathe on land and the badger can breathe underwater. And they shoot lasers. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/11 "2003-05-08T14:38:49Z")
What? The shrimp would totally win. I can’t believe that anyone is backing the badger. Geez! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/12 "2003-05-08T14:39:52Z")
You’re just making up their characterisitcs as we go along! I’ll go with the badger, I don’t know why, but they just seem feisty. And plus, we can eat the shrimp afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/13 "2003-05-08T14:49:24Z")
I’d like to add something to this thread…but I can’t think of anything. Actually, I’m going to say the badger. They both shoot lasers at each other…and everyone knows shrimp is cooked in about 2 minutes. I’ve never cooked badger, but I’m guessing they take longer. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/14 "2003-05-08T15:03:03Z")
The shrimp-- its actually Batman in disguise. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/15 "2003-05-08T15:07:44Z")
Overlooking the obvious impossibility of them being giants, there is still the flaw that rabies only affects warm-blooded animals and shrimp are not warm-blooded. I suppose the shrimp could just be majorly ticked off. But anyway, I’ll go with the badger, even without rabies they are mean-arse creatures with big claws and nasty pointy teeth. And I like that bit about if they had lasers, the laser beams would cook the shrimp faster … I can almost taste it now … I mean, see it … yeah. _drools_ Pass the garlic butter. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/16 "2003-05-08T15:08:36Z")
have you ever encountered an angry badger? jeez…a normal sized angry momma badger would kick the shit out of a giant, airbreathing, lazer shooting mantis shrimp. then she’d eat it…and crap it out all over the place. damn. that’s cold. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/17 "2003-05-08T15:44:49Z")
This reminds me of that cartoon Bart Simpson saw… y’know the one with Princess Tempura? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/18 "2003-05-08T15:56:18Z")
Badgers have external genitalia. So the shrimp, whether it is Batman in disguise or not, would kick the badger in the nuts and end it right there. Giant, rabid, laser-shooting shrimp know more about kicking badgers in the nuts than any other crustacean. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/19 "2003-05-08T16:01:27Z")
Being a University of Wisconsin alum I must go with the Badger on this one. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889/20 "2003-05-08T16:42:01Z")
Well, initially, the shrimp would kick butt… but then the giant rabid Rat, the giant rabid Mole and the giant rabid Toad would enter the fight on the Badger’s side, and they’d win. Then they’d get some giant rabid batter and some giant rabid tartar sauce and… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-in-a-fight-between-a-giant-rabid-badger-vs-a-giant-rabid-shrimp/173889.md?page=2)