# Who'd win: Yoda vs Kosh **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178 "2011-10-10T14:41:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/1 "2011-10-10T14:41:55Z")
Welcome, Fantasy Fight fans, to another edition of Intergalactic Championship Fights. Tonight’s main event is one for the ages. In the red corner, from parts unknown, standing about three feet tall, weighing in at maybe 45 pounds, he’s a Jedi Master, and the Force is with him (but lightsabers are banned from ringside)… **YODA** And his opponent, in the blue corner, from the Vorlon Homeworld, height unknown, weight unknown, true form unknown, he’s got diplomatic immunity, he is… **Kosh Naranek** Your referee, Mills Lane, taps his nose twice, and calls for the bell… [Ding Ding] ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/2 "2011-10-10T14:46:39Z")
Yoda exclaims “Your ass I have kicked! Won, I have!” as he holds his lightsaber high over his head…or at least that’s what he _thinks_ he’s doing. In reality, he sits in the corner with his eyes rolled up and he drools onto the mat, as Kosh silently glides out of the ring and out of the stadium. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/3 "2011-10-10T14:48:47Z")
Without a lightsaber, Yoda is toast. Both will spout incomprehensible garbage at each other for a few minutes, then Kosh will open up his encounter suit and go all glow-ey on Yoda’s green ass. With a lightsaber, Kosh is canapés in seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/4 "2011-10-10T14:50:44Z")
Is Kosh even necessarily corporeal? I mean, I remember when we do see Kosh(Kosh 2, I think) fully out of his suit and not putting on a form. It was really late in B5, but I didn’t think he had to even have a body. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/5 "2011-10-10T14:51:21Z")
Yoda. I have based this decision on the fact that I’ve actually heard of Yoda. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/6 "2011-10-10T14:52:44Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Is Kosh even necessarily corporeal? I mean, I remember when we do see Kosh(Kosh 2, I think) fully out of his suit and not putting on a form. It was really late in B5, but I didn’t think he had to even have a body. He had enough of a body to catch someone who was falling. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/7 "2011-10-10T14:53:43Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > He had enough of a body to catch someone who was falling. Yeah, but I thought he could solidify himself. I guess I’m wrong, though. I’m thinking of back when he and…another Vorlon or something fought? It was really late in the show. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/8 "2011-10-10T14:54:03Z")
Kosh would win. You would not understand why. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/9 "2011-10-10T15:13:02Z")
They’d fight with words. Yoda backwards would say things. Kosh would comment on the migration patterns of spoo. Then they’d both walk out of the arena. No one would ever know who won. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/10 "2011-10-10T15:14:29Z")
I didn’t even know those little balls made out of rubber strings had a last name. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/11 "2011-10-10T15:17:38Z")
> [@Anamorphic](#): > > Yoda. I have based this decision on the fact that I’ve actually heard of Yoda. [Kosh Naranek](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosh_Naranek) ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/12 "2011-10-10T15:22:23Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Is Kosh even necessarily corporeal? I mean, I remember when we do see Kosh(Kosh 2, I think) fully out of his suit and not putting on a form. It was really late in B5, but I didn’t think he had to even have a body. Out of his suit - he looks like a skinny white guy: [http://www.goldkanal.de/html/beteiligte\_babylon5/character13.html](http://www.goldkanal.de/html/beteiligte_babylon5/character13.html) Definitely Yoda FTW! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/13 "2011-10-10T18:39:43Z")
Yoda is an Old One, about on a par with the Mimbari (though he’d probably fare well against any individual Mimbari, since he personally is an exemplar of his race). Kosh is an Ancient One, incomprehensibly above even Old Ones. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/14 "2011-10-10T19:40:32Z")
Yoda, because he is real and this Kosh guy is just made up. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/15 "2011-10-11T01:20:25Z")
> [@brewha](#): > > Out of his suit - he looks like a skinny white guy: > [http://www.goldkanal.de/html/beteiligte\_babylon5/character13.html](http://www.goldkanal.de/html/beteiligte_babylon5/character13.html) > > Definitely Yoda FTW! Out of his suit, he looks like what your race has been programmed to see. When Kosh revealed himself to save Sheridan, Ambassador Mollari looked in his direction oddly, and apparently did not see him at all (according to the Babylon 5 wiki). Mollari’s race had no early contact with the Vorlons. > **[Kosh](https://babylon5.fandom.com/wiki/Kosh)** > > Kosh Naranek was the Vorlon Ambassador to Babylon 5. Kosh was present on the Grey Council's Cruiser prior to the death of Dukhat, and during the Battle of the Line. He had been invited aboard by Dukhat, the leader of the Grey Council, and remained... BTW, what do Kosh’s people appear to be to those who can see them? Angels, or Angelic beings from that planet’s religion. My vote: Kosh, because the battle between him and the three Shadows was felt all over Babylon 5, which is 8,000 meters long and houses 250,000 beings. Bad. Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/16 "2011-10-11T01:31:39Z")
[kosh\_sound\_effect]Somebody mop up the chunks of this Frogger motherfucker and his broke-ass-lasersword from my private deck.[/kosh\_sound\_effect] ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/17 "2011-10-11T01:40:13Z")
Zog! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/18 "2011-10-11T01:53:08Z")
Yoda: Win this battle, I cannot. Kosh: I have always won here. Yoda: Fight this battle, I cannot. Kosh: (Cocks head, narrows aperture) Yoda: Another appointment, I have. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/19 "2011-10-11T02:37:48Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > Out of his suit, he looks like what your race has been programmed to see. When Kosh revealed himself to save Sheridan, Ambassador Mollari looked in his direction oddly, and apparently did not see him at all (according to the Babylon 5 wiki). Mollari’s race had no early contact with the Vorlons. Also, Londo had been “touched by the Shadows”, which may have prevented him from seeing Kosh. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178/20 "2011-10-11T02:57:50Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Also, Londo had been “touched by the Shadows”, which may have prevented him from seeing Kosh. It’s been years, so I’m now not sure what prevented him from seeing Kosh. I THOUGHT it was because Centauri hadn’t been visited by the Vorlons. I may be incorrect about that, and the whole reason may be his association with the Shadows. I do know that the Vorlons appear as angelic beings from various planet’s religions, and that is due to early contact with them as the races were developing. That leads to the question: What do they look like to races that hadn’t been visited? Everyone who saw Kosh that day had a name for what they were seeing, except for Londo Mollari, who saw nothing. Hope I’m not going too far off-topic. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whod-win-yoda-vs-kosh/599178.md?page=2)