# Whom does God hate more: Miles O'Brien of STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE, or Andy Sipowicz of NYPD BLUE? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2014, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877 "2014-08-05T16:24:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/21 "2014-08-05T17:59:29Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I am eating my pound cake. I turned on my teleport pad. 11/10, I would say. Yum! And, as for you, little **Miss 'Mika** , step over here so I can bitch-slap yore smug little self! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/22 "2014-08-05T18:04:07Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > And, as for you, little **Miss 'Mika** , step over here so I can bitch-slap yore smug little self! > > šŸ˜ƒ I could share? Would that help? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/23 "2014-08-05T18:05:40Z")
[del]You can set it to auto-answer, you know. Access power conduit 79-12-6. The main data trunk to the aft side of the access panel should be red. If it is blue, your ship was built backwards and you need to see the alternate instructions below. Open the data trunk FTL shielding and using a tricorder, probe setting WKNNGT, setting itā€™s value to ā€œmeh.ā€ Alternate instructions: Find the greenish-blue button on the transporter control panel marked ā€œAuto-Answer Incoming Transports,ā€ and press it. The light should come on, go off, blink three times, then come on and stay on. If the light is now amber, you have accidentally triggered a containment breach. Evacuate immediately.[/del] nm ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/24 "2014-08-05T18:05:52Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Does the episode where Miles tuns out to have been a duplicate all along count against Milesā€™ misery quotient? Yes, but it adds to Keikoā€™s misery quotient, and Keikoā€™s a cute chick so her misery counts more than Milesā€™s does. What? > [@KneadToKnow](#): > > You can set it to auto-answer, you know. Because thereā€™s no possible bad result to letting people teleport items into your house without your knowing what it is. That is exactly how Wesley Crusher got killed. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/25 "2014-08-05T18:06:12Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I could share? Would that help? Yeah. Okay. Thanks. :o ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/26 "2014-08-05T18:09:52Z")
ā€œThe light should come on, go off, blink three times, then come on and stay on. If the light is now amber, you have accidentally triggered a containment breach. Evacuate immediately.ā€ Dammit! Evacuating now. Iā€™m never gonna get my pound cake!!! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/27 "2014-08-05T18:11:36Z")
I guess Iā€™m keeping all my pound cake. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/28 "2014-08-05T18:11:38Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I know people donā€™t like keiko but I think she is sweet. I agree with you. It must be the other guy who suffers more. Even if she isnā€™t all that sweet, he has a loyal wife and a jobā€¦and a nice kid. That is more than many have. Heā€™s doing fine. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/29 "2014-08-05T18:19:32Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > ā€œThe light should come on, go off, blink three times, then come on and stay on. If the light is now amber, you have accidentally triggered a containment breach. Evacuate immediately.ā€ > > Dammit! Evacuating now. Iā€™m never gonna get my pound cake!!! :: teleports jayrey out of danger and into Vegas :: Never try to hack your transporter system based on web instructions. The voice commands are there for a reason. If you donā€™t know how to rewire the system yourself you are just going to end up killing yourself. And now I have to send a damage control team to repair your house, clean up the radiation, and murder any witnesses. Just for that you can stay at the Venetian until I feel youā€™ve matured. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/30 "2014-08-05T18:28:11Z")
For the record, here are the ā€œLetā€™s Torture Oā€™Brienā€ episodes of DS9: [ul] [li]_Captive Pursuit_ - Miles befriends Tosk only to be ordered by Sisko to allow hunters to murder him (he helps Tosk escape and gets reprimanded for preventing a murder.)[/li][li]_Armageddon Game_ - Oā€™Brien and Bashir neutralize some biological weapons. Then the owners of the weapons try to neutralize Oā€™Brien. He almost dies horribly but is saved Just In Time.[/li][li]_Whispers_ - Oā€™Brien is a replicant, but he doesnā€™t know it. He is convinced that he is going insane, or that there is a conspiracy against him (there is.)[/li][li]_Tribunal_ - Oā€™Brien is arrested and charged in a kangaroo court on Cardassia. After accidentally proving his innocence, his defense attorney is executed.[/li][li]_Visionary_ - Oā€™Brien is killed by radiation poisoning, but manages to replace himself with a time-travel double[/li][li]_Hard Time_ - Oā€™Brien is accused by an alien race of espionage and has brutal memories of a 20-year prison sentence implanted in his brain. He becomes suicidal and is saved by Julian.[/li][li]_Apocalypse Rising_ - Oā€™Brien is made to look like a Klingon. That would be torture for anyone.[/li][li]_The Ship_ - Oā€™Brienā€™s VSE best friend dies slowly at the hands of the Jemā€™Hadar[/li][li]_The Assignment_ - Keiko is possessed by a pah-wraith and Oā€™Brien must do her bidding and sabotage the station, or she will kill Keiko[/li][li]_Honor Among Thieves_ - Oā€™Brien is recruited by Starfleet Intelligence to infiltrate the Orion syndicate, and must betray Bilby, a mobster who was nice to him.[/li][li]_Timeā€™s Orphan_ - Molly has a time travel accident and returns as a grown woman, having developed largely feral. Nell Molly (Nolly?) eventually fixes it.[/li][li]_Prodigal Daughter_ - Miles is kidnapped by Orion gangsters when attempting to track down Bilbyā€™s widow.[/li][/ul] So it seems that in addition to regularly clashing with entire alien civilizations, almost dying several times, being suicidal, dealing with multiple deadly temporal paradoxes, and turned into a paranoid mental patient, anyone Oā€™Brien manages to get close to either dies or is regularly placed in mortal peril. And Sisko is a dick to him in the mirror universe. My moneyā€™s on Oā€™Brien. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/31 "2014-08-05T18:32:55Z")
Iā€™d say God REALLY hated Jack Morrison (David Morse) on _ **St. Elsewhere.** _ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/32 "2014-08-05T18:33:41Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Iā€™d say God REALLY hated Jack Morrison (David Morse) on _ **St. Elsewhere.** _ Yes, but I coulndā€™t remember his name. I blame Mika. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/33 "2014-08-05T18:33:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: teleports jayrey out of danger and into Vegas :: > > Never try to hack your transporter system based on web instructions. The voice commands are there for a reason. If you donā€™t know how to rewire the system yourself you are just going to end up killing yourself. > > And now I have to send a damage control team to repair your house, clean up the radiation, and d. :eek: Iā€™m gonna take a hammer to my teleporter. DO WANT! ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/34 "2014-08-05T18:43:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: teleports jayrey out of danger and into Vegas :: > > Never try to hack your transporter system based on web instructions. The voice commands are there for a reason. If you donā€™t know how to rewire the system yourself you are just going to end up killing yourself. > > And now I have to send a damage control team to repair your house, clean up the radiation, and murder any witnesses. Just for that you can stay at the Venetian until I feel youā€™ve matured. Thank you, **Skald**. Youā€™re my hero. Can I have the Tom Selleck comfortbot to keep me company at the Venetian? Thanks, youā€™re the best!! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/35 "2014-08-05T18:46:25Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > Thank you, **Skald**. Youā€™re my hero. Can I have the Tom Selleck comfortbot to keep me company at the Venetian? Thanks, youā€™re the best!! I keep telling yā€™all: _comfortbots do not have sex with you._ Thatā€™s what hookerbots are for. Comfortbots bring you breakfast in bed, massage away your aches after a long day, sing soothing lullabies to you when you are depressed and cannot fall asleep, and brutally murder your enemies when you have enemies who need brutally murdering. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/36 "2014-08-05T18:50:22Z")
In her defense she did say ā€œkeep me companyā€. Me Iā€™ll take the Michael fassbender hookerbot please. ETA hookerbot is the weirdest word I have ever typed. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/37 "2014-08-05T18:56:30Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > In her defense she did say ā€œkeep me companyā€. Me Iā€™ll take the Michael fassbender hookerbot please. > > ETA hookerbot is the weirdest word I have ever typed. I saw the word ā€œflufferbotā€ yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/38 "2014-08-05T19:01:18Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Yes, but I coulndā€™t remember his name. I blame Mika. Hey, at least Oā€™Brien and Andy never got gang raped by convicts! Jack did! ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/39 "2014-08-05T19:05:39Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I keep telling yā€™all: _comfortbots do not have sex with you._ Thatā€™s what hookerbots are for. Comfortbots bring you breakfast in bed, massage away your aches after a long day, sing soothing lullabies to you when you are depressed and cannot fall asleep, and brutally murder your enemies when you have enemies who need brutally murdering. ::Fold arms and looks askance at **Skald** :: Sā€™cuse me. I said comfortbot and I \*meant \*comfortbot. If Iā€™d wanted a hookerbot, Iā€™d have asked for one. I may be an idiot when it comes to rewiring my transporter, but I \*know \*my comfortbots. šŸ†’ So, whatā€™s the answer? Do I get my Tom Selleck comfortbot or not? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877/40 "2014-08-05T19:07:45Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > ::Fold arms and looks askance at **Skald** :: > > Sā€™cuse me. I said comfortbot and I \*meant \*comfortbot. If Iā€™d wanted a hookerbot, Iā€™d have asked for one. I may be an idiot when it comes to rewiring my transporter, but I \*know \*my comfortbots. šŸ†’ So, whatā€™s the answer? Do I get my Tom Selleck comfortbot or not? Okay, but it will be a BLUE BLOODS model rather than a MAGNUM P.I. model. The latter are all occupied with ā€“ well, never mind. Confidentiality. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-does-god-hate-more-miles-obrien-of-star-trek-deep-space-nine-or-andy-sipowicz-of-nypd-blue/694877.md?page=3)