# Whom shall I take as my new god? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252 "2010-10-06T14:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/61 "2010-10-07T00:14:26Z")
Sorry Raincloth. Er, Rancho Thorium. Um… you know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/62 "2010-10-07T00:59:21Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Worship the sun. At least it’s real. Sol Invictus called, left a message. Said he wouldn’t be able to make the interview’; seems he has to take his Saturn in for a ring job. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/63 "2010-10-07T01:09:38Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > > [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > > > However, on review, I will now also submit **Pele** - the volcano goddess, not the footie god. One of the few deities you can still pick up hitchhiking. > > **Pele** ’s always a good choice. She’s _still_ punishing Hawaii for daring to tap her for geothermal “free” energy. > > > [@TruCelt](#): > > > > Hades, definitely. It’s always a mistake to spend all your devotion on Gods who may, if your devotion is perfect, and they’re having a good day, make your life better here on Earth. > > > > But by any measure you will be spending far more years dead than alive, so start now to invest in your long-term happiness and comfort. > > Your logic is sound. If he wants logic, how about\*\* T’Khasi\*\*, the Vulcan equivalent to Gaea for Mother Earth? Can’t get much more logical than the tutelary goddess of Star Trek Vulcans!! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/64 "2010-10-07T01:34:33Z")
Mammon. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/65 "2010-10-07T02:35:36Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > [Banjo the Clown](http://oots.wikia.com/wiki/Banjo_the_Clown), in his aspect as Banjulhu! > > Damn, beat me to it, as I was going to mention him after **Rancloth** mentioned some other puppet. > > **The Morrigan** you say, **Grey**? Woof. Not one/three? I’d want to get involved with even tangientially. I mean, I’ve met the three ladies in other guises, but with this guise I would have no dealings. Hey, I’m still reeling from Bailey Quarters only coming in at 11. Still economically speaking a one/three goddess has advantages particularly one linked to war, destruction, fertility, cows and death. Squint the right way and you cover off the cattle mutilating aliens demographic if you’re looking for that kind of leverage. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/66 "2010-10-07T04:25:33Z")
Another nominee: [Ivanova is God](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xO9Vr_nBE8) The Mantra: 1.Ivanova is always right. 2.I will listen to Ivanova. 3.I will not ignore Ivanova’s recommendations. 4.Ivanova is God. 5 If this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs uot. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/67 "2010-10-07T13:16:58Z")
You have Bailey Quarters but not [Mary Ann Summers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Ann_Summers)? Gee! ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/68 "2010-10-07T13:50:17Z")
> [@Ann\_Onimous](#): > > You have Bailey Quarters but not [Mary Ann Summers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Ann_Summers)? Gee! If you’re gonna go with Mary Ann, you might as well include Gilligan. The Attackclan has long felt that he was some sort of god of the underworld, and that the other castaways were in a particularly odd hell, kept there by his constant screwups, but always nearly able to escape. Cruel bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/69 "2010-10-07T14:17:18Z")
Skald, ALL of the Hindu gods/goddesses are avatars of someone or other. I mean, avatar is a Hindu/Sanskrit word to start with. That being said, you could always try Meenakshi Devi. She even has a beautiful temple in South India. > **[Meenakshi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meenakshi)** > > Meenakshi (Sanskrit: Mīnākṣī; Tamil: Mīṉāṭci; sometimes spelled as Minakshi; also known as Aṅgayaṟkaṇṇi, Mīnāṭci and Taḍādakai) is a Hindu goddess. She is the tutelary deity of Madurai and is considered an avatar of the goddess Parvati. She is the divine consort of Sundareśvarar, a form of Shiva. She finds mention in literature as the queen of the ancient Madurai-based Pandya kingdom, and is later deified. The goddess is also extolled by Adi Shankara as Shri Vidya. > She is mainly worshipped in... ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/70 "2010-10-07T14:33:38Z")
Only two days out of 12? You can take me off the list. I’ve got plenty of full-time worshippers, I don’t want to deal with you part-timers. The paperwork hassle just isn’t worth it. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook on the clever chants and at least a goat or two. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/71 "2010-10-07T14:33:48Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Mammon. Man cannot serve both Bailey Quarters and Mammon. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/72 "2010-10-07T14:48:40Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Only two days out of 12? You can take me off the list. I’ve got plenty of full-time worshippers, I don’t want to deal with you part-timers. The paperwork hassle just isn’t worth it. > > That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook on the clever chants and at least a goat or two. The Athena _I_ worship posts only in Greek. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/73 "2010-10-07T17:41:57Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Another nominee: > > [Ivanova is God](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xO9Vr_nBE8) > > The Mantra: > > 1.Ivanova is always right. > 2.I will listen to Ivanova. > 3.I will not ignore Ivanova’s recommendations. > 4.Ivanova is God. > 5 If this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs uot. [Seconded.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8oF0i5nvPI&NR=1) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/74 "2010-10-07T18:04:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > > [@Oakminster](#): > > > > Another nominee: > > > > [Ivanova is God](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xO9Vr_nBE8) > > > > The Mantra: > > > > 1.Ivanova is always right. > > 2.I will listen to Ivanova. > > 3.I will not ignore Ivanova’s recommendations. > > 4.Ivanova is God. > > 5 If this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs uot. > > [Seconded.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8oF0i5nvPI&NR=1) Ivanova is not God. She is the right HAND of God. By which of course I mean Athena (herself Aslan’s right hand). ---
**Author:** ![curious11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@curious11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious11)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/75 "2010-10-07T18:14:03Z")
all the posts before this one, tl;dr, so sorry if already mentioned. The Fonz, Chuck Noris, and Bruce Lee ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/76 "2010-10-07T18:26:20Z")
Gozer the Gozerian. Unless you fancy being roasted in the depths of the Slor. Michael Knight. Because he is generally accepted to be the finest man who ever lived. Shane Diesel. Because, jesus-fuck, look at that thing. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/77 "2010-10-07T18:27:33Z")
> [@curious11](#): > > all the posts before this one, tl;dr, so sorry if already mentioned. > > The Fonz, Chuck Noris, and Bruce Lee Lee is but a man. Chuck Norris is a false god not worthy to iron Thor’s cape, no matter what the internet meme claims. And no one who fears liver and the word _wrong_ is worthy of praise. song, or fatted calves. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/78 "2010-10-07T18:47:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@curious11](#): > > > > all the posts before this one, tl;dr, so sorry if already mentioned. > > > > The Fonz, Chuck Noris, and Bruce Lee > > Lee is but a man. Chuck Norris is a false god not worthy to iron Thor’s cape, no matter what the internet meme claims. And no one who fears liver and the word _wrong_ is worthy of praise. song, or fatted calves. You’re really picky, you know that? I bet you don’t eat your vegetables either. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/79 "2010-10-07T18:56:55Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > Lee is but a man. Chuck Norris is a false god not worthy to iron Thor’s cape, no matter what the internet meme claims. And no one who fears liver and the word _wrong_ is worthy of praise. song, or fatted calves. > > You’re really picky, you know that? I bet you don’t eat your vegetables either. True, in the sense that I prefer to trick my neighbor into giving me HIS vegetables. It is how one honors Anansi. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252/80 "2010-10-07T19:55:28Z")
I say, get some Old Time Religion: Let us Pray to Zarathrusta Pray just like we used ta Be a Zarathrusta booster (It’s good enough for me!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-i-take-as-my-new-god/556252.md?page=5)