# Whom shall we exile to the Phantom Zone?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 15, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878 "2010-09-15T18:53:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/21 "2010-09-16T14:37:21Z")
Definitely these two [assholes](http://www.aolnews.com/surge-desk/article/ct-doctor-testifies-in-trial-of-man-accused-of-murdering-family/19633103). If we don’t vote to kill them.
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### Author:  [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/22 "2010-09-16T14:42:14Z")
How about the next twelve tourists who insist on standing on the left-hand side of the Rosslyn metro station escalator? Pour encourager les autres.
(Yes, I know they don’t know any better. But, damnit, this is one of the longest escalators in the system.)
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### Author:  [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/23 "2010-09-16T14:50:21Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#):
>
> Definitely these two [assholes](http://www.aolnews.com/surge-desk/article/ct-doctor-testifies-in-trial-of-man-accused-of-murdering-family/19633103). If we don’t vote to kill them.
Can I change my vote? These two definitely earned a spot in the Phantom Zone.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/24 "2010-09-16T14:57:00Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
> >
> > I don’t know anything about Smallville. The person who plays Lana Lang vexes me. She shall be among the first cast into the Void, no matter what the rest of y’all want.
>
> Nobody likes Lana. But I don’t blame the actress. She is written to be a horrible person. She actually does a much better job when she is playing someone else.
>
> Anyways, I’m only familiar with the specifics of the _Smallville_ Phantom zone–you can send people there bodily, but the reason it’s called the Phantom Zone is that you normally kill the people, and then send the souls there. If they get out, they have to take over another being’s body. (If the phantom is Kryptonian, the being will acquire the appropriate powers under a yellow sun.) And I don’t believe that nuclear explosions are enough to open a gate. You need Kryptonian crystal technology.
>
> Also, when you get there, the only thing that seems bad about it is that there are a lot of sociopathic phantoms in it. It’s not inherently torturous–more like prison. Of course, we’ve only really seen what life is like if you go their bodily. And these people aren’t Kryptonian, so they’ll probably wind up dead. (And I don’t know if death converts them into a phantom.)
>
> So, if you use the _Smallville_ Phantom Zone, you are pretty much asking who we want to kill.
No Smallville Phantom Zone. In canon, the PZ is a infinite wasteland in all the residents are phantoms, able to observe Earth but not interact with anything. Everybody in there eventually goes mad, which is why Sarah Palin shall not be sent there as there would be no way to tell.
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### Author:  [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/25 "2010-09-16T15:51:34Z")
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> 9 & 10. The two guys that robbed the convenience store near my house, and shot the clerk. That store has excellent BBQ sammiches, and shooting purveyors of fine pulled pork products is intolerable.
I can get behind this.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/26 "2010-09-16T19:29:41Z")
Attached please find five submissions for your review:
1. Donovan McNabb’s mom. She appears to be the sweetest old lady in the world who just wants me to have a nice healthy bowl of soup. I don’t trust that crazy bitch.
2. The Six Flags Guy. See above, but replace “lady” with “man” and “bowl of soup” with “delightful time at an amusement park”. Something sinister is afoot with that old coot.
3. Elvis. Let’s finally put these ridiculous rumors of his death behind us. We know he’s living somewhere in eastern Oregon, just screwing with the heads of convenience store clerks across the country. Off to the PZ, and we don’t have to deal with anymore sightings.
4. Chuck Lorre. People 'round these parts seem to be fairly taken with this “Big Bang Theory” television show, but the man inflicted “Two and a Half Men” upon us, and that demands justice.
5. Hugh Hefner. Hef, you’ve lived a charmed life, surrounded by ridiculously gorgeous women, swimming in money and having every whim become reality - which has unfortunately included making me know who Kendra Wilkinson is and be subjected to incredibly boring pornography. Welcome to the Phantom Zone.
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### Author:  [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/27 "2010-09-17T06:08:06Z")
1. Nancy Grace
2. Sean Hannity
3. Keith Olberman
4. Glenn Beck
5. Joy Behar
6. Rachel Maddow
All of them are too smug for my tastes.
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### Author:  [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/28 "2010-09-17T16:24:00Z")
Charles Manson. It would save the parole board a lot of time and money. Also, nutjob.
And those two assholes linked above.
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### Author:  [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/29 "2010-09-17T17:07:38Z")
I was going to suggest putting ex-significant others in the Zone but we’re limited to 12 and they won’t all fit. So I volunteer to place MY ex in the Zone as a representative of those people we no longer want to be with. Really, it’s the least I could do.
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### Author:  [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/30 "2010-09-17T17:45:05Z")
Jenny McCarthy and Andrew Wakefield. Unfortunately, it won’t reverse the damage they’ve done.
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### Author:  [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/31 "2010-09-19T00:07:36Z")
What’s a 'Lock? And what’s GY camping?
OK, I found the camping on Google. Pfft – World of Warcraft; you can go with 'em. I still don’t know what a 'Lock is – a warlock? – but I find I no longer care.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/32 "2010-09-19T13:44:42Z")
> [@audit1](#):
>
> 1. Nancy Grace
>
> 2. Sean Hannity
>
> 3. Keith Olberman
>
> 4. Glenn Beck
>
> 5. Joy Behar
>
> 6. Rachel Maddow
>
> All of them are too smug for my tastes.
You can’t seriously expect me to do anything that would cause Rachel Maddow even a moment’s distress.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/33 "2010-09-19T14:03:34Z")
1. Kim Jong-il
2. Robert Mugabe
3. Gen. Than Shwe (Leader of Myanmar)
4. Hugo Chavez
5. Bashar Assad (Syria)
6. Muammar Gaddafi
Then we let it be known that we have six more spots available, so if you don’t want to board this train, straighten the fuck up and run your country like a real country, not your private little country club full of ego and crazy.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/34 "2010-09-19T14:07:35Z")
> [@Chimera](#):
>
> 1. Kim Jong-il
> 2. Robert Mugabe
> 3. Gen. Than Shwe (Leader of Myanmar)
> 4. Hugo Chavez
> 5. Bashar Assad (Syria)
> 6. Muammar Gaddafi
>
> Then we let it be known that we have six more spots available, so if you don’t want to board this train, straighten the fuck up and run your country like a real country, not your private little country club full of ego and crazy.
I’m sorry. You seem to be under the impression that the projector is under the control of someone on the side of righteousness.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/35 "2010-09-19T14:09:09Z")
Well step closer, Skald. Let me show you something here.
(push)
Ok, NOW it is.
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### Author:  [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/36 "2010-09-20T01:31:32Z")
Does the running out of juice impose a time limit **Skald**? Or can the flying monkey techs keep it running for the foreseeable future until the whole _dirty dozen_ have been dispatched?
'Cos if it’s the latter, then it seems to me that sending only a few nasties now – and making a big public fuss about their fate – might convince a much larger number of undesirables at least try to play nice; the flow on effects could be immense.
Of course the projector’s controller would become a highly sought after individual… and many of those seeking may not be intending to award medals for meritorious service to humanity… but if you’re OK with being besieged within your dark fortress then it might be a workable plan.
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### Author:  [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2010, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/37 "2010-09-20T13:23:12Z")
> [@Apollyon](#):
>
> Does the running out of juice impose a time limit **Skald**? Or can the flying monkey techs keep it running for the foreseeable future until the whole _dirty dozen_ have been dispatched?
>
> 'Cos if it’s the latter, then it seems to me that sending only a few nasties now – and making a big public fuss about their fate – might convince a much larger number of undesirables at least try to play nice; the flow on effects could be immense.
Why the fuck would _I_, of all peoeple, care about getting the wicked to play nice?
> [@](#):
>
> Of course the projector’s controller would become a highly sought after individual… and many of those seeking may not be intending to award medals for meritorious service to humanity… but if you’re OK with being besieged within your dark fortress then it might be a workable plan.
Like Aquaman’s not already trying to bust his way in. I really should relocate to the Andes or something as opposed to the ruins of Poseidonis.
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### Author:  [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/38 "2010-09-20T14:27:23Z")
Mostly stealing others’ suggestions:
1. Rush
2. Nancy Grace
3. Maddow
4. Olberman
5. Mugabe
6. Ahmadinejad
7. Pelosi
8. Palin
9. whoever cancelled \*Firely \*
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### Author:  [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/39 "2010-09-20T17:31:14Z")
> [@Nametag](#):
>
> What’s a 'Lock? And what’s GY camping?
>
> OK, I found the camping on Google. Pfft – World of Warcraft; you can go with 'em. I still don’t know what a 'Lock is – a warlock? – but I find I no longer care.
A warlock camping the graveyard in a battleground in World of Warcraft.
---
### Author:  [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whom-shall-we-exile-to-the-phantom-zone/553878/40 "2010-09-21T00:21:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#):
>
> Why the fuck would _I_, of all peoeple, care about getting the wicked to play nice?
I didn’t say “wicked” I said “undesirable”. 🙂 Personally, those who run telemarking companies would be edging onto the list… and email spammers… but there are so many of them that 12 shots just aren’t going to be enough, but if we could hit one or two _pour l’encouragement des autres_ as it were…
> [@](#):
>
> Like Aquaman’s not already trying to bust his way in. I really should relocate to the Andes or something as opposed to the ruins of Poseidonis.
Probably easier flight conditions for the monkeys too… also… does a bee cannon actually work underwater?
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