# Who's Got Your Back? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 23, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845 "2006-02-23T21:07:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/61 "2006-02-24T15:36:21Z")
Grimjack Because he’d kick even Batman’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/62 "2006-02-24T15:41:08Z")
I’ll pick Chon Wang (played by Jackie Chan) in Shanghai Noon/Knights. If he can keep that idiot Roy O’Bannon (Owen Wilson) out of trouble, I’m in great shape. And all with a sense of humor, too! See, the problem with choices such as Q, Galactus, and Yahweh, is that, yea, these guys are omnipotent or nearly so, but they’re also damned capricious. I’d trust my back to _Loki_ before I’d trust any of those other guys. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/63 "2006-02-24T15:54:17Z")
Doctor Doom. What he can’t do with politics, he can do with technology. What he can’t do with technology, he can do with money. What he can’t do with money, he can do with cunning schemes. What he can’t do with cunning schemes, he can do with _raw, naked **force** _. Doom, certainly. Darth Vader, as an alternative. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/64 "2006-02-24T16:33:51Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > This is a crime even to speak of…you should be ashamed of yourself! oh, i forgot the final steps… put the teabag in a coffeemaker that’s just been used to make a pot of coffee, then pour the cup of tea, let it get cold, then reheat it in the _microwave_… [evil grin] Don’t Panic, Mika, when i do make tea (not all that often), i use loose-leaf tea in an infuser ball thingy okay then, if “Q” was out, i’d want Officer Aeryn Sun, special Peacekeeper commando, Pleisar Regiment, covering my back, with Ka’ D’Argo as backup… ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/65 "2006-02-24T16:59:04Z")
Nobody wants Angel? Is it just because he’s so damned pouty, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/66 "2006-02-24T17:11:52Z")
I’ll take the Saint of Killers. Sure, you guys have dibs on the reality-bending characters like Dr. Manhattan and Galactus, but my guy is just plain _meaner_. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/67 "2006-02-24T17:34:26Z")
Zorro. Tornado will take care of Kathy Lee. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/68 "2006-02-24T17:38:42Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Nobody wants Angel? Is it just because he’s so damned pouty, or what? that, and he doesn’t know how to accept gratitude btw - if \*Buffy \* can’t cut it, I’ll dump her for _Spike_ ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/69 "2006-02-24T19:22:27Z")
> [@Stark Raven Mad](#): > > I’ll take the Saint of Killers. Sure, you guys have dibs on the reality-bending characters like Dr. Manhattan and Galactus, but my guy is just plain _meaner_. Bah. Kathy Lee would _so_ pwn his ass. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/70 "2006-02-24T19:39:30Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > “Q” from ST-TNG, omnipotence has it’s advantages, _all_ the superhero powers available in _one_ entity… Except he’s probably the one who sicced everyone on you in the first place, knowing Q. > [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Doctor Doom. > > What he can’t do with politics, he can do with technology. > What he can’t do with technology, he can do with money. > What he can’t do with money, he can do with cunning schemes. > What he can’t do with cunning schemes, he can do with _raw, naked **force** _. You forgot magic. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/71 "2006-02-24T19:49:45Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > You forgot magic. **YOU DARE TO CRITICISE DOOM!?! INSOLENT LACKEY! _DIE!!_** \< Insert 1920’s Style Death Ray Noise Here \> ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/72 "2006-02-24T20:32:34Z")
For more-or-less-real-world-humans, I don’t think **Jack Bauer** is a good idea, as I’d be too tempted to hit on his hot daughter (or his annoying techy sidekick), and then I might get Bauerized. I’d have to choose **Bob “The Nailer” Swagger** , or his father, **Earl Swagger**. For non-omnipotent fictional characters, I’d go with prequel-era **Obi Wan Kenobi**. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/73 "2006-02-24T20:37:24Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Nobody wants Angel? Is it just because he’s so damned pouty, or what? It’s that nancy-boy hair gel he likes so much. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/74 "2006-02-24T20:44:09Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > It’s that nancy-boy hair gel he likes so much. besides - he’s really just a wee little puppet man 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845/75 "2006-02-24T21:04:44Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > Nobody wants Angel? Is it just because he’s so damned pouty, or what? The baddies might try to whack me outdoors in the daytime. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-got-your-back/345845.md?page=3)