# Who's more at fault in this kitchen scenario?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 21, 2016, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488 "2016-07-21T12:58:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/21 "2016-07-21T13:50:21Z")

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Who’s really at fault is Mitt. Although I have no idea why former governor Romney would be in the oven. 😕

Double failure, as has been cited before. Don’t store anything in the oven, and always check it before pre-heating it. For God’s sake, they even have windows and light bulbs. It’s not an epic quest to glance inside, and you don’t even have to open the door in that case. (Yeah, some ovens don’t have windows. That makes the glow of accomplishment at having successfully checked the oven even more meaningful.)

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**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/22 "2016-07-21T13:53:08Z")

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Always turn the light on when you turn on your oven! That way you’ll always notice something inadvertently left in the oven. Plus, you won’t forget to turn it off, as the light will remind you it’s on.

The scenario you’ve described could have happened to anyone. It was a simple oversight, something all humans do, on occasion.

The assigning of blame, even only as private personal inventory, is incredibly damaging to your relationship. It’s a very, very bad omen for it’s future, I think.

I would remind you that this is little more than spilled milk. No one was injured, both parties feel a titch foolish, it was noticed in time. I advise you let it go here. Breathing more life into it than it requires is a very dangerous way to conduct your affairs, if you value your relationship, in my opinion.

Good Luck!

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**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/23 "2016-07-21T14:18:20Z")

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This is a REALLY stupid thing to argue about. It was a mistake. But if you don’t leave things in the oven (which you shouldn’t), well, if blame must be placed, it’s mostly A’s fault.

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**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/24 "2016-07-21T14:19:42Z")

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It’s dangerous to leave flammable items in the oven regardless. That should never be done and no one should expect the next user to check for flammable items before turning it on. Storing flammable items will eventually end up causing the house to burn down because someone is going to forget to look inside. If nothing else, a malfunction could switch the oven on at a random time.

You could also argue that you should look under your couch cushions before sitting down in case someone stored something breakable underneath. Or that you should check all around the engine in your car in case someone stored something under the hood. But that’s not how people behave in real life. No one is going to do a full safety check of everything before they use it. It’s better to not to create a potentially dangerous situation in the first place.

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**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/25 "2016-07-21T14:31:19Z")

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There’s no reason to store oven mitts in the oven, it just shouldn’t be done since it’s a significant risk and makes no sense. If someone typically stores stuff in the oven then whoever is turning it on needs to check, whether the oven is a ‘cooking only’ zone or a ‘store dishes’ container is something the two people need to work out. I agree that expecting someone to arbitrarily check the oven in the absence of a ‘we will use it for storage space’ arrangement is unreasonable.

OTOH if they’re having a ‘not on speaking terms’ argument over this, something is seriously wrong with their communication or in their relationship. This is a pretty simple thing to talk about and resolve, if it’s going to ‘man the trenches’ level then what else is broken?

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**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/26 "2016-07-21T14:35:48Z")

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I can’t believe this. Turning on an oven is the equivalent of starting a fire. You don’t start a fire just anywhere, you make sure it’s safe first. You don’t pull the trigger on a gun assuming someone else unloaded it beforehand. You don’t back up your car without looking because you assume someone else would not walk behind your car. Like everything else in life if you do something potentially dangerous you check first. Someone else’s failure before you act does not remove your responsibility.

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**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/27 "2016-07-21T14:41:50Z")

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> [@TriPolar](#):
>
> You don’t back up your car without looking because you assume someone else would not walk behind your car.

Looking behind when you back up is looking for the obvious obstructions. That would be like storing an oven mitt on a burner where the next person can see the mitt before turning it on. Storing a mitt in the oven is creating a hidden obstruction. When you get in your car, do you do a full walk around check, look under the car, behind all the tires, under the hood, etc. just to make sure no one stored stuff there? Probably not. You look out the windows for obvious obstructions and go from there. If your spouse put a laptop behind the back tire, who’s fault would it be if you backed over it?

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**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/28 "2016-07-21T14:49:04Z")

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> [@filmore](#):
>
> Looking behind when you back up is looking for the obvious obstructions. That would be like storing an oven mitt on a burner where the next person can see the mitt before turning it on. Storing a mitt in the oven is creating a hidden obstruction. When you get in your car, do you do a full walk around check, look under the car, behind all the tires, under the hood, etc. just to make sure no one stored stuff there? Probably not. You look out the windows for obvious obstructions and go from there. If your spouse put a laptop behind the back tire, who’s fault would it be if you backed over it?

The glove is an obvious fire hazard. If your oven doesn’t have a window and light all you have to do is pull on the handle. A person lying on the ground behind your car is not obvious enough to see in your rearview mirror, run over them and you will be in serious trouble. Convenience is not an excuse, when you do something dangerous you are responsible for making sure you do not harm others.

When you light a fuse you are responsible for knowing what is on the other end of the fuse. You are a fool if you light that fuse and some stupid person had stuck the other end in a stick of dynamite. Have fun when your smithereens try to blame that other person.

ETA: And I do not move my car backward or forward if I don’t know what’s behind it or in front of it.

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**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/29 "2016-07-21T14:51:38Z")

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> [@Grrr](#):
>
> I’d be more concerned why A and B feel they need to place blame. We’re all human and we all make mistakes.
> 
> Sometimes shit just happens. And in the case of the OP, comically so. A and B should be laughing this off and accepting the fact that they both screwed up.

Agreed.

The rest of you have not been thinking this through. It’s clearly Obama’s/Limbaugh’s [choose one] fault.

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**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/30 "2016-07-21T15:00:05Z")

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Assuming oven mitts aren’t normally kept in the oven in this household I think it says a lot about Person B that they didn’t just claim responsibility and laugh it off, especially considering they had two opportunities to remember they left the mitt in there (assuming it didn’t fall in, which seems unlikely).

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/31 "2016-07-21T15:19:58Z")

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Person C notices Person A and Person B arguing, takes pizza out onto the porch and feasts on it.

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**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/32 "2016-07-21T15:22:45Z")

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I’d say 80% A’s fault, 20% B’s fault.

I have family members who were like this. If they made a mistake, but you didn’t cover for or remedy the mistake, the situation was \*your \*fault.

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**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/33 "2016-07-21T15:29:28Z")

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Person B is fully and 175% responsible … he turned the oven on, it was his duty to check inside first … it only takes 956 milliseconds to do so. Person A has absolutely _no_ blame in this case, even if she did leave the mitt in the oven. Person B _must_ apologize immediately, beg forgiveness and promise to never _ever_ try to pull this male macho bullshit ever again.

Flowers, chocolate and tickets to the ballet are in order here.

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**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/34 "2016-07-21T15:36:58Z")

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> [@Grrr](#):
>
> I’d be more concerned why A and B feel they need to place blame. We’re all human and we all make mistakes.  
> Sometimes shit just happens. And in the case of the OP, comically so. A and B should be laughing this off and accepting the fact that they both screwed up.

Thirded.

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**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/35 "2016-07-21T15:40:52Z")

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> [@watchwolf49](#):
>
> Person B is fully and 175% responsible … he turned the oven on, it was his duty to check inside first … it only takes 956 milliseconds to do so. Person A has absolutely _no_ blame in this case, even if she did leave the mitt in the oven. Person B _must_ apologize immediately, beg forgiveness and promise to never _ever_ try to pull this \*\*male macho bullshit ever again.
> 
> Flowers, chocolate and tickets to the ballet are in order here\*\*.

The OP said nothing about who was which gender but you’ve immediately leaped to the conclusion that A is female and B is male.

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**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/36 "2016-07-21T15:50:05Z")

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This sounds very much like the time my parents moved into a brand new townhouse and when I came over for dinner a week later, found out that Mom had turned the oven on for the first time since moving in and ended up melting the plastic on the instruction packet that was left inside. In that instance, that is Mom’s fault for not checking inside a brand new oven, and a funny story to tell people when I explain how my mother is not the world’s best cook.

In the OP’s case, this is nobody’s fault, unless the oven is where the mitts are typically stored. I seriously doubt that’s the case, because who the hell stores oven mitts \*inside \*the oven? I never check the oven when I preheat it, because we don’t keep things in the oven. Is this a potential future problem? Perhaps. Will I check the oven before the next few times I turn it on? Probably. Would I blame one of my roommates if I set something on fire because they left it in the oven? _Absolutely_. But really, if the mitt is in there by accident, it’s nobody’s fault and hurry up, because the pizza is getting cold.

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**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/37 "2016-07-21T15:50:23Z")

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It’s the pizza delivery person’s fault. They need to start getting that shit to you HOT. No excuses.

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**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/38 "2016-07-21T15:52:16Z")

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> [@TriPolar](#):
>
> ETA: And I do not move my car backward or forward if I don’t know what’s behind it or in front of it.

You realize that in the time between your walk-around and getting into your car a small child or endangered animal could have sneaked up and hidden behind your car. Good luck with the lawsuit.

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**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/39 "2016-07-21T16:02:41Z")

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This scenario has happened repeatedly in my parents’ house over the past 50 years. Person A is always considered the responsible party. You would think that the recurrence of the scenario would mean that checking the oven would be a requirement, but no – you put something in the oven, it is always your fault. Gender is irrelevant; both Mom and Dad have been Person A. Sometimes Person A and Person B are the same person.

> [@elbows](#):
>
> I would remind you that this is little more than spilled milk. No one was injured, both parties feel a titch foolish, it was noticed in time. I advise you let it go here. Breathing more life into it than it requires is a very dangerous way to conduct your affairs, if you value your relationship, in my opinion.

The ability to be amused by this and similar scenarios, and to use it to tease each other rather than make accusations, is a major contributor to my parents’ successful 58-year (and counting) marriage.

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-more-at-fault-in-this-kitchen-scenario/760488/40 "2016-07-21T16:18:55Z")

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> [@Chronos](#):
>
> Just like you never point a gun at anything you do not intend to shoot, you never put anything in an oven that you do not intend to bake.
> 
> If you grow up in a household where nobody ever stores things in the oven, then it makes sense to turn the oven on without first checking it. On the other hand, even if you grow up in a household where everyone always checks the oven before turning it on, it makes no sense to store an oven mitt in the oven.

Interesting that you analogize with a gun-safety rule. Here’s another:

Just as every gun is considered loaded until proven otherwise, every oven is considered occupied until proven otherwise.

I’m no gun expert, so I don’t know which of those takes precedence. If neither one is considered less important than the other. I’d say the oven-analogous blame situation is a wash.

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