# Who's right here? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 30, 2014, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604 "2014-05-30T00:30:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/21 "2014-05-30T17:01:05Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Do you have a Habitat ReStore in your area? They’ll take broken things, and will often come and pick them up. You can get a nice tax deduction too if you’re interested. Yes, such a thing was suggested by a few people in the original FB post. I regret not going this route originally, but it’s a first world problem to have, I guess. I’d have been more than happy to donate everything to them, but now it’s Friday and I need it out by Monday morning. So we’ll probably bust the slab up and remove it this weekend. Thanks for everyone’s advice. I understand it wasn’t earth shattering, but sometimes I like to get other people’s perspective because I feel a certain way and then feel guilty that I feel that way. ---
**Author:** ![sich\_hinaufwinden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@sich\_hinaufwinden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sich_hinaufwinden)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/22 "2014-05-30T17:18:07Z")
Sounds as if B doesn’t really appreciate you letting him have your stuff. It’s like he’s taking your generosity for granite. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/23 "2014-05-30T17:34:55Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > So we’ll probably **bust the slab up** and remove it this weekend. > > Thanks for everyone’s advice. **I understand it wasn’t earth shattering** , but sometimes I like to get other people’s perspective because I feel a certain way and then feel guilty that I feel that way. (Bolding added.) Isn’t it _literally_ earth shattering? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/24 "2014-05-31T05:24:05Z")
I’m with the minority here - you offered him one thing, but when he came to get it, it was broken and useless to him. I think he’s in the right. ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/25 "2014-05-31T06:24:14Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > Why aren’t you mad at the contractor instead? You told them to preserve the materials, they did not. Now you expect “B”, who is paying for the old kitchen via work, to take something that is not only useless but extremely heavy and bulky as well? When I buy something, whether with with cash or barter, I expect it to be useable. The contractor broke it, he gets to dispose of it. Well it was an accident, the contractor was just doing the job of removing the old kitchen. He may not have dealt with such a large slab of granite before. Didn’t realise that he should have the person in the middle. Its annoying that the people who came to pick up the granite didn’t move it out of the way. There are probably ways to re-use the granite. The relative should do that, it wouldn’t be impossible… Attach them together on the under side , and use it still ? Or have it cut down… The bit around the sink wouldn’t have to be matching. Because its visually “the sink”. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/26 "2014-05-31T06:34:08Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’ve always known it’s an option. But I’ve posted free items before and have regretted it because people wouldn’t stop calling me, long after I’d already unloaded the item. Never put a phone # in the ad, just use the email reply feature, and delete the ad as soon as it’s gone. My biggest problem is flakes, but once I unloaded a bunch of PVC pipe in about 30 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/27 "2014-05-31T11:11:57Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > I’m with the minority here - you offered him one thing, but when he came to get it, it was broken and useless to him. I think he’s in the right. He’s already made off with ~25 linear feet of base and upper cabinetry, a double oven, a cooktop, and a brand new stainless steel sink and faucet (which are not the right size for my new kitchen). Yes, a few pieces of cabinetry will have to be repaired before they can be installed, but they’re still good, solid wood cabinets. Just not my style. The reason I’m ticked is that he essentially came and removed (or wants to remove) everything of value, and then wanted to leave me with the leftovers. That means that I’d have to pay someone to come and haul away the other pieces of granite, because they’re too heavy to throw away, which means that I’m now out money. And the entire point of me giving it ALL away, was to get rid of it quickly, with no hassle, and to spare my husband’s back. Had someone come over and wanted to cherry pick any of it, I’d have said no, it was all or nothing. UPDATE: So I got no reply from my brother after I told him to tell B to forget it. However, last night his wife left me an IM that said, “B will be there tomorrow to pick up the counters.” Plural. So I guess that means he planned on getting them all. Which is fine. However. She just posted this on FB: “I’m gonna start giving the same amount of time,help and energy, I get from everyone. So don’t ask for shit cause that’s what your getting…” I take this to mean that B couldn’t find any friends to help him move the granite. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/28 "2014-05-31T19:54:57Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > He’s already made off with ~25 linear feet of base and upper cabinetry, a double oven, a cooktop, and a brand new stainless steel sink and faucet (which are not the right size for my new kitchen). “Made off with”? Really? These things that you were trying to get rid of, you’re now using words like he stole them? ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/29 "2014-05-31T20:57:42Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > “Made off with”? Really? These things that you were trying to get rid of, you’re now using words like he stole them? He didn’t hold up his end of the bargain, so yeah, that’s not so far away from stealing. He got a bunch of good stuff with the agreement that he would take everything. It does change things a bit that part of the counter was broken, but I still feel like it’s not right for him to just walk away from it. A decent person would at least help them get rid of the granite, especially since he knows that they need to get rid of it right away. Something similar happened to my parents. They sold a car, and the person who bought it came and took parts from it (from what I understand, they probably just wanted the VIN number, so I’m not sure what they did was even legal). So now my parents still have to get rid of a junk car and they have to worry about what they can do legally when the car really belongs to someone else now. It’s a rotten thing to do. It’s the same when people buy boxes of stuff at auctions and they take out the one thing they want and leave the rest of the box there. You bought it, you get rid of your own self instead of dumping it on someone else. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/30 "2014-05-31T21:19:09Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > He didn’t hold up his end of the bargain, so yeah, that’s not so far away from stealing. He got a bunch of good stuff with the agreement that he would take everything. It does change things a bit that part of the counter was broken, but I still feel like it’s not right for him to just walk away from it. A decent person would at least help them get rid of the granite, especially since he knows that they need to get rid of it right away. I look at it as someone offering someone else an entire living room full of furniture including a piano, and then they break the piano. It’s hard for me to feel responsible for taking the incredibly heavy broken thing, especially when I was originally doing someone a favor. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/31 "2014-05-31T21:20:07Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > “Made off with”? Really? These things that you were trying to get rid of, you’re now using words like he stole them? I chose words to indicate that he’d been enriched from what he’d already taken, in contradiction to needscoffee’s claim that it was a bunch of useless junk. The appliances alone were worth $500, the exact sink retails for $299, and the faucet was ~$100. I have no idea how much the granite was worth, but even if it was just a level 1, was worth a few hundred bucks. So, yes, he made off on the deal. With my blessing. All I really wanted in return was the stuff out of my house before the hardwood guy arrived. It was his wife who insisted on paying for it, because she’s too proud to accept charity. It was me who suggested B work for it, because there was no way I was taking their money. As it turns out, all’s well that ends well. His wife called me this morning and asked me if the granite was still theirs to take, because she was hearing contradicting stories. I told her that they were still free to take it, with the condition that if they took one piece, they took them all. She said, “Sounds great!” and now we’re all good. Win/win. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/32 "2014-05-31T21:27:24Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I chose words to indicate that he’d been enriched from what he’d already taken, in contradiction to needscoffee’s claim that it was a bunch of useless junk. The appliances alone were worth $500, the exact sink retails for $299, and the faucet was ~$100. I have no idea how much the granite was worth, but even if it was just a level 1, was worth a few hundred bucks. But you weren’t looking to sell it, so it’s useless junk _to you_. And some of it was broken, which makes it useless junk to most of us. I’m glad it worked out, but I don’t get saying you want to give something away, then saying how valuable the stuff is that you want to give away. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/33 "2014-05-31T21:27:37Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I look at it as someone offering someone else an entire living room full of furniture including a piano, and then they break the piano. It’s hard for me to feel responsible for taking the incredibly heavy broken thing, especially when I was originally doing someone a favor. He wasn’t doing me a favor. She circumvented my request for the names of charities who’d come and take the items away. For free. On time. Because I didn’t want my husband to haul it off himself, because he’s got a bad back. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/34 "2014-05-31T21:36:06Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > But you weren’t looking to sell it, so it’s useless junk _to you_. That’s irrelevant. The stuff had value to _someone else_, and I was leveraging that value to get it hauled off at no cost to me. Its value to me was not in the cash I’d get for it, but in saving the money I would have had to pay to get it hauled away. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604/35 "2014-05-31T21:41:10Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > That’s irrelevant. The stuff had value to _someone else_, and I was leveraging that value to get it hauled off at no cost to me. Yes, so when it stopped having value for someone else, saying that they stuff _they had already hauled off_ had value is really weird to me. I’m glad it worked out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-right-here/689604.md?page=1)