# Who's the coolest short actor? (or Who'll Play YOU in the movie?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 5, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492 "2001-11-05T00:05:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/1 "2001-11-05T00:05:10Z")
I’ve decided. For a while there I was havering, but now there can be only one. I’ve often thought of myself as a Harrison Ford/Clint Eastwood kinda guy, but the fact is I’m 5 feet 8 inches tall. 5 feet 7 with a proper haircut. So there’s only one option. Unless I give up on being cool at all and opt for Dudley Moore, Joe Pesci or Lou Costello, my only real option is the Godfather II himself. Al Pacino. That’s MY choice. Pacino is a little guy, admittedly, but adored by women, hopelessly charismatic, and quite capable of biting your face off if annoyed. And Tom Cruise, besides looking like a hamster, insists on looking tall in movies. So does Mel “disarming charm” Gibson. I need an actor who’s too dangerous for anyone to mind that he looks short. Hmmm. Maybe Harvey Keitel… I dunno. So who’ll play you? Given that Pacino is BOOKED? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/2 "2001-11-05T00:08:19Z")
Mr. S (5’6") nominates Dustin Hoffman. I picked Steve Zahn, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/3 "2001-11-05T00:14:16Z")
I’m 6’5" 160lbs (That’s not as skinny as it sounds!) I don’t think there is an actor out there that has the same build as me. Conan O’Brien comes close but he’s not quite as tall and he has a really big head. Tim Robbins is close but he’s alot heavier than me. I guess Howard Stern comes the closest but he is about 27 years older than me and I have short brown hair. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/4 "2001-11-05T02:30:54Z")
I’m 5’9," which makes me the same height as Robert Redford. (I noticed when he stood next to me while shooting “The Way We Were.”) So don’t assume your favorite actor is all that tall. (Barbara Streisand, BTW, is only about 5 feet.) ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/5 "2001-11-05T02:41:08Z")
Well, she’s not just known as an actress, in fact, is probably most known as a singer, but Dolly Parton. She’s about four feet, eleven inches, and I’d bet that would be exaggerating. She wears four inch spikes just to make her on a “nearly normal” visual size in movies, from what I’ve read. Like anybody really gives a flying rat’s ass about her height! 🙂 And I can fake the boobs. Lord knows _she_ has for about twenty-something years. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tarmac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a8b319/32.png) [@Tarmac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarmac)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/6 "2001-11-05T05:40:40Z")
Johnny Depp is very short and (from data gathered in field studies amongst women-folk) very sexy. ---
**Author:** ![jinty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jinty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jinty)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/7 "2001-11-05T13:32:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > **I’m 6’5" 160lbs** Hey man, you’re a foot taller than me. I think _one_ of us is in the wrong thread :D. (_jinty wants to be_) Alan Ladd, in Shane. (_jinty knows he is_) Mickey Rooney, in one of those roles where he spends his time getting overlooked (literally) by taller actors. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/8 "2001-11-05T15:44:50Z")
**RealityChuck** : > [@](#): > > (Barbara Streisand, BTW, is only about 5 feet.) The IMDB says Barbra is 5’5", well within the range of normal for a woman. I’d want Michael J. Fox to play me, but I’d settle for Sean Astin after he loses all that Sam Gamgee weight (he gained 30 pounds for the role). Of course, at 5’7" I think I’m taller than either of them. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/9 "2001-11-05T15:51:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SilkyThreat \* > \*\*Well, she’s not just known as an actress, in fact, is probably most known as a singer, but Dolly Parton. > > She’s about four feet, eleven inches, and I’d bet that would be exaggerating. > > She wears four inch spikes just to make her on a “nearly normal” visual size in movies, from what I’ve read. > > Like anybody really gives a flying rat’s ass about her height! 🙂 > > And I can fake the boobs. Lord knows _she_ has for about twenty-something years. 😃 \*\* Short women with big breastesses! Nothing finer! [quick peak down] ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/10 "2001-11-05T19:35:35Z")
Well, until her recent breast augmentation, I would have to say I would pick Janeane Garafolo. But, you would have to take Dolly Parton’s chest and put it on her to play me. That’s the only person I can think of right now. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/11 "2001-11-05T20:16:58Z")
Janeane Garafolo had breast augmentation? Say it isn’t so! Cite? Why on Earth would she do that? I always thought Janeane didn’t need something like that to respect herself. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/12 "2001-11-06T00:46:19Z")
Robert Downey Jr. So much potential. I think he’s short, but those orange jumpsuits make everyone look shorter. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-coolest-short-actor-or-wholl-play-you-in-the-movie/91492/13 "2001-11-06T00:53:00Z")
Davy Jones.