# Who's the Perve? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 6, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778 "2000-05-06T20:47:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/1 "2000-05-06T20:47:39Z")
All right, who’s been having sex with goats? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/2 "2000-05-06T21:36:36Z")
I suppose you’re referring to Cecil’s column “[Does ‘in like Flynn’ refer to actor Errol Flynn? (Week of: 06-Sep-96)](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/960906.html)”, in which he says > [@](#): > > Most people today would have no problem > believing Mother Teresa does it with goats. To answer your question, I will only say, who hasn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2000, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/3 "2000-05-06T22:43:49Z")
Interesting, Arnold… When it was just re-posted, [that column](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_156.html) didn’t contain the goat reference, and had a few other minor changes. Oughtn’t Cecil to present what was actually published in reply to that letter, as the “classic column”? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/4 "2000-05-07T03:07:24Z")
Actually, I just read today’s alternate newspaper, and Cecil gives mention to the SDMB posters. He seems to have us in the right barnyard. But somebody ought to be sharing some tales with the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/5 "2000-05-07T13:30:30Z")
You all may remember that last month Little Ed started a thread in MPSIMS, [Researching “psychic orgasms”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20963), where he gathered detailed sexual information, suposedly as “research” for a column. (I suspect when his wife found out about this, she told him that there better really be a column, or he was in _big_ trouble). In any event, the resulting column appeared in the papers last week, but hasn’t been posted online yet. (I’m going to take a chance, and post a link to the online column which I think should be active by Tuesday, but no promises: [5/5/2000 “Psychic orgasms” column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000505.html).) The original post refers to the following statement by Cecil in this column: “I had Little Ed quiz Gary about his friend and also post a query on the Straight Dope Message Board at [http://www.straightdope.com](http://www.straightdope.com) , where, I swear, you could ask people if they’d had sex with goats and an hour later you’d have someone asking, ‘Define sex.’” Since this column doesn’t list the repondent’s names, we are also left guessing as to which SDMBer had an orgasm during a frustrating history exam, which achieved same while talking with her boyfriend in a department store, who, under certain circumstances has “an orgasm every few steps”, etc. All in the interest of science, of course. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/6 "2000-05-07T21:22:57Z")
I’m pretty sure the “goat” reference was a joke about the _kind of thing_ you might hear from our posters. I’ve heard about as bad, though not that reference specifically. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/7 "2000-05-08T18:19:55Z")
The column in question has now been posted online. The online version includes the following from Cecil: _(Let me hasten to say I’m not comparing doing it with goats to the present topic, just observing that we have a diverse and outspoken group here.)_, which for some reason my local paper left out when the column appeared last week. But I’ve got to ask, what is this thing about Cecil, goats and sex? For example, in [What exactly is “ear sex”?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_062b.html) Cecil reported, _Many of her callers describe their fantasies in truly appalling detail, such as is best left to the imagination of the reader. Christa feels, not unreasonably, that this has a therapeutic effect on the men. If so, the women of this country, not to mention the mothers, 13-year-olds, young boys, dogs, and **goats** , should be everlastingly grateful._ Also, why do I seem to be so fascinated with this topic? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/8 "2000-05-08T19:01:20Z")
Reminds me of a tacky joke. Different species, same idea: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper. Apologies to our Scottish SDMB posters. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/9 "2000-05-08T19:05:56Z")
I’ll second whitetho’s observation. The parenthetical found in Cecil’s online column [Can some people have orgasms without genital stimulation?](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000505.html) > [@](#): > > (Let me hasten to say I’m not comparing doing it with goats to the present topic, just observing that we have a diverse and outspoken group here.) does **NOT** appear in the column I saw in my local paper. Is Cecil pandering to the online community here? Is this fighting ignorance? What’s the straight dope? ---
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/10 "2000-05-09T00:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > The column in question has now been posted online. The online version includes the following from Cecil: (Let me hasten to say I’m not comparing doing it with goats to the present topic, just observing that we have a diverse and outspoken group here.), which for some reason my local paper left out when the column appeared last week. I confess, when I posted Cecil’s column online this morning, I stuck that line in there on The Master’s behalf. I was paranoid that someone would take his comment the wrong way. Although I will say none of the women who responded to the survey struck me as the type to take offense easily. And no, I don’t know what it is with Cecil and goats. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/11 "2000-05-09T00:36:25Z")
No problem, Ed. I figured it was something like that. Thanks for giving us the straight dope. I routinely understimate how touchy people will be about stuff, so it may have been a good idea. (I just hope we don’t get an invasion of people from the American Goat Lovers Union in outraged offense about how Cecil’s column was watered down). On another tack, I’d be interested to see what the questions were in the survey that was sent around. (I’d be interested in the answers, too :), but I don’t think it likely that you’d post them.) Bill ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/12 "2000-05-09T07:24:49Z")
wow, ten posts on what was obviously a small humourous aside. I think that was wht Cecil was talking about. Oh and while I am 47 hours late…could someone please define sex. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/13 "2000-05-09T12:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > . . . which achieved same while talking with her boyfriend in a department store . . . > \*\* _ahem_ (raising hand) C’est moi. And it wasn’t even a sexy conversation. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/14 "2000-05-09T16:24:12Z")
I am **SO** bummed that I missed the chance to participate in this survey. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2000, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/15 "2000-05-09T20:01:48Z")
I want to know who it is that’s depicted in Slug’s accompanying drawing. Anyone confessing? ---
**Author:** ![skwyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@skwyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skwyd)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/16 "2000-05-10T03:26:26Z")
Being an Irishman, I have more to comment on the “sex with goats” bit… While it is true that Scots may on occasion participate in a little “hide the hampster” with goats, we of Irish decent prefer the much softer (and less fiesty) sheep. 🙂 That’s why our kilts are made of wool… \>:) And this is the sound… “Daaaaaaadddddd” ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/17 "2000-05-10T16:42:23Z")
And is that supposed to be Ed doing the research in Slug’s pic? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/18 "2000-05-10T17:25:09Z")
skwyd said: > [@](#): > > Being an Irishman, I have more to comment on the “sex with goats” bit… I resent that! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2000, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-the-perve/18778/19 "2000-05-10T23:08:21Z")
> [@](#): > > While it is true that Scots may on occasion participate in a little “hide the hampster” with goats, we of Irish decent prefer the much softer (and less fiesty) sheep. > > That’s why our kilts are made of wool… And what exactly d’ye think our Scots kilts are made of, fella-me-lad? Now, I wouldna necessarily turn down a willing goat, mind, but I warrant as we’re as friendly wi a sheep as you. 😃 -andros- (scarin’ devil oot o’ the wee sheep i’ his new Graham Montrose colors)