# Who's watching the Olympics opening ceremony? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 13, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814 "2010-02-13T03:59:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/21 "2010-02-13T04:50:31Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > Minute of silence for Nodar Kumaritashvili. ☹ I almost commented on that, but I didn’t want to bring the thread down. My thoughts at such times are somewhat morbid. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/22 "2010-02-13T04:50:42Z")
So who’s going to be carrying the torch? ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/23 "2010-02-13T04:51:56Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > So who’s going to be carrying the torch? #99? or Gordie? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/24 "2010-02-13T04:51:56Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > So who’s going to be carrying the torch? [k.d. lang](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absolute_Torch_and_Twang)! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/25 "2010-02-13T04:53:13Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > [k.d. lang](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absolute_Torch_and_Twang)! 😃 Boooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/26 "2010-02-13T04:55:07Z")
I gotta get me some of those maple leaf mittens! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/27 "2010-02-13T04:55:47Z")
No use for the mittens, but I love the tuques! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/28 "2010-02-13T04:56:16Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Heartening? If you say so; I’ve never found it to be. Almost every verse ends in pain. Pay close attention to the first and last verses, and the sense of it may shift a little for you. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/29 "2010-02-13T04:56:55Z")
Ladies an’ gennelmen… The Great One. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/30 "2010-02-13T04:57:27Z")
Who looks like he’s been botoxed to here and gone! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/31 "2010-02-13T04:59:11Z")
D’OH! I was wondering what they were waiting for. What is it they say on _Junkyard Wars_? Whenever you have hydraulics involved, there are going to be problems? . ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/32 "2010-02-13T05:03:37Z")
Yeah, the torch looks a wee bit…lopsided. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![randwill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@randwill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randwill)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/33 "2010-02-13T05:04:29Z")
“I don’t know what’s wrong, this has never happened to me before.” ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/34 "2010-02-13T05:05:10Z")
Olympics Fail! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/35 "2010-02-13T05:06:25Z")
> [@ataraxy22](#): > > Olympics Fail! You’re saying it was a failure of Olympic proportions? ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/36 "2010-02-13T05:07:38Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > So who’s going to be carrying the torch? > [@](#): > > #99 What do I win? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/37 "2010-02-13T05:08:26Z")
Well, the fourth column of the Olympic torch failed to appear, but the torch is now lit. Four great Canadian athletes with Wayne Gretzky lit it. What else did I learn? Uhm…Canadians love nature. Their Indians especially love nature and also have invented some of the most enduring greeting-card slogans ever to be burned into those wooden plaques you get at country stores. They also can dance for an entire parade but the dances look kind of alike to the untrained eye. Everybody is nice to everybody and, unlike other countries, they have a Little Italy and a Chinatown. Their fiddlers are punk and they apparently had no cowboys, railroad men, refugee Tories, or slaves in their history. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/38 "2010-02-13T05:11:06Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#): > > What do I win? 😃 The chance to go jack that fourth leg of the caldron up… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/39 "2010-02-13T05:11:22Z")
don’t forget “zed”. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2010, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814/40 "2010-02-13T05:11:40Z")
> [@Mehitabel](#): > > What else did I learn? Uhm…Canadians love nature. Their Indians especially love nature and also have invented some of the most enduring greeting-card slogans ever to be burned into those wooden plaques you get at country stores. Everybody is nice to everybody and, unlike other countries, they have a Little Italy and a Chinatown. Their fiddlers are punk but everybody else is very sedate. It was everything lame-ass about Canadian-hosted events, I’m afraid. Fiddlers and step dancers? Check. Nature stuff? Check. Aboriginals treated like pets? Check. Trotted out musicians past their prime? Check, check, check. Technical difficulties? Check. Fat neckbeard from Youtube? Okay, I wasn’t expecting that, but it was lame. Check. The projection effects were quite amazing, though - a lot of them were breathtaking, especially the whale effect. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-watching-the-olympics-opening-ceremony/528814.md?page=3)