# Who's your Fab Five crush? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 13, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357 "2003-09-13T05:50:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/1 "2003-09-13T05:50:44Z")
I don’t watch TV so much anymore, but one show I’m sure to catch is **Queer Eye for the Straight Guy**. I enjoy the jokes, the commentary, the transformation, and the tips. Oh yeah, and I have a crush on Ted. He’s cute, hilarious, smart, and can cook. What more could a girl want? Well, heterosexuality would be nice. I can’t be the only one, can I? Gay men, straight women, unite and share the love! ---
**Author:** ![Caprigenus\_Chevre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@Caprigenus\_Chevre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprigenus_Chevre)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/2 "2003-09-13T07:00:11Z")
Ack!!! Ted is mine!!! You have to go through me to get him! 😛 😛 😛 ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/3 "2003-09-13T07:06:12Z")
Sorry, you’re _both_ wrong. Ted is _mine_. He cooks for me every day and never takes his glasses off. ---
**Author:** ![Caprigenus\_Chevre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@Caprigenus\_Chevre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprigenus_Chevre)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/4 "2003-09-13T07:33:21Z")
I suggest we wrestle for Ted’s affection. Corn Cream of Mud? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/5 "2003-09-13T13:29:05Z")
Kyan had me at first - Damn, that is one pretty man!! But I have to admit, I’m moving to the Ted camp. It’s my dream world… Can I keep them both? Always having good hair AND good food? I’m not sure I could handle that! ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/6 "2003-09-13T14:05:42Z")
Ted, with Thom an up-and-coming second. I wonder if the Fab Five are amused by the increasing number of straight women who would love to arrange a “gay boyfriend” situation. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/7 "2003-09-13T14:20:02Z")
I’m a Thom girl. There’s just something about him. Plus, I feel like he works harder than the other guys do–while Kyan’s taking someone out to get his hair cut, Thom’s doing a full on Trading Spaces makeover of the guy’s (usually) disgusting house. And yes, I know that Thom probably has TONS of help. I just like him, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/8 "2003-09-13T15:29:07Z")
You women keep your filthy heterosexual hands off my Thom. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/9 "2003-09-13T16:12:49Z")
Wow, I’m amazed by all the Ted love (he’s mine, I tell you, mine!) On other message boards everyone seems to favor either Kyan or Jai. I also think that Carson would make a really cool and funny buddy, although I wouldn’t call him a crush. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/10 "2003-09-13T16:29:13Z")
All y’all need to step off from mah huuuusband Kyan. But I think Ted is pretty attractive too, more from a sardonically witty personality standpoint that a pretty man standpoint. ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/11 "2003-09-13T18:19:37Z")
Oh dear Otto, you’ve got competition. I swoon for Kyan. I want a Kyan sexbot like in _A.I._…of course in that case he’d be straight. Curséd reality! …but Ted does grow on me week to week. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/12 "2003-09-13T18:37:30Z")
Another vote for cute, cute, cute Thom! Not only do I love his hair, his sense of style (both personally and through his designing), but he has a great sly wit about him. I’d definitely take him if he were interested in the other team. ::: whimper ::: Besides, he does work his hiney off. What a great ethic (and said butt) he has! 😃 But I must also admit that Ted’s pretty adorable. He’s hubby’s favorite and I _do_ think it has to do with all that scrumptious food. YUM!! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/13 "2003-09-13T18:43:45Z")
Kyan for the body and the face, Ted for the personality, ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/14 "2003-09-13T21:59:17Z")
No no no. Obviously, I cared enough about Ted to start a thread about my crush on him, so I win him, should he ever decide to switch teams. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/15 "2003-09-14T03:39:26Z")
Kyan Douglas. That man is gorgeous, Jai is very much a cutie too, he can dance and that’s a plus for me. So it’s gotta be between those two. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/16 "2003-09-14T03:57:24Z")
Between Kyan and Jai… Sorry, just went to my happy place for a minute. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/17 "2003-09-14T04:04:15Z")
Jai, him being the only one I’ve seen live, in ZANNA DON’T! Although I’m pretty sure I passed Ted in the street in Chelsea the other day. Cutey. Him and Carson I would love to watch the Tonys with. And Jai would be up there winning one and kissing everyone in sight, gender be damned. I like Thom, but in the sense I want to hire him. I’m repainting a wall this week and he’s inspired me that it’s going to be a bright color, although not the orange he seems so fond of. Kyan would probably criticize the way I shave my legs. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/18 "2003-09-14T04:16:18Z")
Thom is an incredible designer, but he seems like kind of a dick too. Kyan is hot hot hot, but I don’t get the sense that he’s a very complex dude. Something about the way he talks about “products.” Carson is fun, but he seems like one of those people that’s “always on” and a little tiring. Ted and Jai, however, are both goldem, though Ted isn’t “hot” per se like Jai, he’s still good looking in the very intelligent and cultured sort of way. I’d probably get on with him the best. But wait: who was the guy that Jai replaced? What happened to him? He was pretty sweet looking too, though I only saw him in one ep. ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/19 "2003-09-14T14:30:00Z")
Total Thomgirl here. He seems like he’d be fun to snark with, he’s amazingly talented, looks terribly cute in shorts and a t-shirt, and has a dog. Kyan’s cute, but he’s just so darn EARNEST. Ted’s a guy I could hang around with, he seems to have a really bizarre, wacky kind of humor. Plus he’s like Fred Schenider with Kurt Loder’s voice:) But yeah, Thom’s my boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357/20 "2003-09-15T01:12:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hopefool \* > \*\*Another vote for cute, cute, cute Thom! Not only do I love his hair, his sense of style (both personally and through his designing), but he has a great sly wit about him. \*\* “Is he retarded?” “It’s horrible.” “This is… stupid.” “Minimalism is about clean lines. This is bleak.” Sorry, but Thom’s humor is anything but sly. It’s more akin to being bludgeoned with a brick wall. That’s why I love it. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apos \* > **Kyan is hot hot hot, but I don’t get the sense that he’s a very complex dude. Something about the way he talks about "products."** Is that polite for ‘dumb’? Since this is the Straight Dope, we do need to call Kyan out for endorsing caffeinated body wash and Vitamin C ointments. This is worse than pseudo-science since it’s been proven that (unlike drugs that do penetrate the skin) these chemicals are not absorbed by skin and have no effect. ## Peace. And what’s up with Kyan’s hair? It’s either all bang-y and pushed to the side like some mope, or it’s flipped back up like a Jimmy Neutron mohawk wannabe. Stylist, heal thyself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-fab-five-crush/201357.md?page=2)