# Who's your Papa? Latest Chick Abomination **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653 "2009-01-03T01:29:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/41 "2009-01-04T07:50:39Z")
> [@True Blue Jack](#): > > “If the Pope is the holiest man on earth, why isn’t **everybody** Catholic?” If Jesus is Lord, why isn’t **everybody** Christian? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/42 "2009-01-04T10:22:15Z")
I always like how in the Chickiverse salvation is essentially a function of who you talked to last: if you get hit up by a Chickolyte in the first few panels, you’re bound to get put crook later by a Muslim/Catholic/Satanist/homosexual, and then you’re headed for eternal hellfire; if on the other hand the Chickolyte gets in the last word, you’re pretty much jake as far as heaven goes. The moral seems to be that you should just believe anyone you speak to on the subject of religion, and hope that they’ve come in at the right part of the strip. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/43 "2009-01-04T14:57:00Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Symbolizing a male organ, used by Masons world-wide.” > \ You gotta be amazed by the way this total jerk can insinuate his pet hatreds in the most unlikely of ways. I hate to break it to him, but Masons now use the world dildo when we just have to symbolize the male organ. I really shouldn’t reveal this, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/44 "2009-01-04T16:17:46Z")
“Wait-- Jesus is **God?** ” “ **Absolutely!** ” “Then why did He leave heaven?” “Because everybody’s hiding something.” This may be the perfect distillation of Chick Dialogue right here. The Perfect Innocent finds a spiritual mentor to teach Jesus’ message, which instantly turns into an nightmare journey through an endless labyrinth of global conspiracy. We can joke about the man’s comics; but in all seriousness, I think it’s probably extremely lucky for everyone concerned that Jack Chick stumbled on such an outlet for his religious ideas. If Jesus ever influenced this guy, it was surely in the decision to preach his dark, weird gospel via whimsical little comics, rather than in some medium more likely to be viewed as spiritually authoritative. I venture to guess that few fundamentalist evangelicals have ever capped off an anti-Catholic (or anti-evolution, anti-Jewish, anti-Muslim etc.) sermon by quoting Jack Chick. He’s probably heavily exploited for church Powerpoint presentations though. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/45 "2009-01-04T16:28:24Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > If Jesus is Lord, why isn’t **everybody** Christian? 😃 I can do it too! If Jesus is Jewish, why isn’t **everybody** Jewish? :j ---
**Author:** ![Trathena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Trathena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trathena)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/46 "2009-01-04T17:01:54Z")
If Jesus is celibate, why isn’t **everybody** celibate? Also, what struck me is that this guy, who’s never heard of the Pope, is talking to his uncle, who actually met him. The hell? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/47 "2009-01-04T17:18:09Z")
I want to know why his neighbor is only _just now_ explaining the gospel to him. Seems suspicious. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/48 "2009-01-04T18:30:11Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > Now, when I was in Catholic Sunday school, the teacher made it very clear to us that, yes, the bread actually is being transmogrified…err transubstantiated, and it isn’t mere symbology. [I renounced all that silliness years ago btw] This idea isn’t by any means monopolised by the RC Church, though. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/49 "2009-01-04T19:31:43Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “Symbolizing a male organ, used by Masons world-wide.” > \ Must be one worn-out organ by now. Don’t they even have a spare?! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/50 "2009-01-04T19:34:39Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > This idea isn’t by any means monopolised by the RC Church, though. :dubious: I beg your pardon, you mean the RC **Institution.** ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/51 "2009-01-04T20:51:43Z")
Wow, so the caesars saying they were gods weren’t deluded or lying for a position of power, they were actually _agents of Satan_! It almost seems like every Chick tract villain isn’t really responsible for their own actions but can ultimately trace blame back to Satan. Since there seem to be very few people who actually make it to heaven in the Chick universe, Satan’s army must be huge. If you ask me, Satan’s got a much better ground game than God. God doesn’t stand a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/52 "2009-01-04T21:39:12Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > If you ask me, Satan’s got a much better ground game than God. Yeah, but God has a better air attack. Check out Jesus hovering on the cloud. I don’t understand this passage: “Her power is no longer blocked by Protestantism. It’s all but gone.” To what does “it” refer? Clearly not “her power”, or the two sentences are contradictory. Is Protestantism “all but gone”? Doesn’t Chick consider himself a Protestant? Or his he some sort of pure generic Christian? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/53 "2009-01-04T21:55:03Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Doesn’t Chick consider himself a Protestant? I think he considers himself almost the **last** Protestant. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/54 "2009-01-04T21:55:47Z")
No, he does not consider himself to be a Protestant. Yes, he does consider himself to be a pure, generic Christian, and he considers that to be the only “true” Christian there is. Or so I surmise. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/55 "2009-01-04T22:02:40Z")
What trips me out is the second panel: Even the TV journalist reporting the pope’s death looks eeevul. What’s up with **that?** ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/56 "2009-01-04T22:05:27Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > No, he does not consider himself to be a Protestant. Yes, he does consider himself to be a pure, generic Christian, and he considers that to be the only “true” Christian there is. > > Or so I surmise. Well, he certainly places a lot of importance on Martin Luther. But, in one of his comics, he portrayed Christians fleeing into the mountains to be safe from the false “Christianity” proclaimed by Emperor Constantine – implying an underground survival lasting centuries, like Gardner claimed for the Wiccans. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/57 "2009-01-04T22:11:50Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > What trips me out is the second panel: Even the TV journalist reporting the pope’s death looks eeevul. What’s up with **that?** His bosses made him stand outside in a thunderstorm for no good reason, and the doofus holding the umbrella couldn’t even get it over his head. I’d be looking pretty evil too! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/58 "2009-01-04T23:00:03Z")
How old is this guy? Chick tracts have been inserted under wiper blades for decades prior to the Interweb. I’m thinking Jack Chick is a self-replicating fleshbot, weaned on _Elders of Zion_ pamphlets, and incapable of learning anything new. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/59 "2009-01-05T13:39:19Z")
Maybe “Jack Chick” is one of those “Dread Pirate Roberts” deals, where a new one takes over every so often. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653/60 "2009-01-05T17:30:31Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I’m always fascinated by where Jack Chick gets the imagery for his characters. I spent most of this one trying to place the face of the goateed protagonist, our dewy-eyed _tabula rasa_, our innocent yet intrepid seeker of arcane information. Then I went back to the beginning, and saw that somebody called him “Jimmy,” and it dawned on me: This tract is about _The Saving of James Lipton._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whos-your-papa-latest-chick-abomination/479653.md?page=4)